As one of the internet’s more cultured readerships, the Roarer republic will surely be familiar with the timeless National Lampoon franchise and it’s rib-tickling Christmas Vacation masterpiece.
For those who haven’t lived, I’d describe it as a cinematic diamond that surely deserved more Oscars than the zero it received.
In one of the movie’s more iconic scenes, hapless patriarch Clark Griswold valiantly grapples with a whopper 25000-strong Christmas light display that he’s spent most of his spare time erecting on the family home. The beaten-up battler’s only wish is to make the tricky thing work so he can impress an indifferent family full of B-grade comedy legends.
Stick with me here. While this waffle may seem more WTF than NRL, I assure you it’s not only OTT 80s hilarity that will ensue, there’s also an unlikely rugby league parallel to be force-fed.
Griswold comically busts a gut setting up a yarn ball of cords to power the grid-crippling eyesore, however when he heads outside for a test run, they switch on and off spasmodically like they have a non-compliant mind of their own. It leaves Griswold frustrated, the snobby pre-Seinfeld Elaine next door partially blind and the rest of us in high-powered hysterics.
This hair-tearing situation of hard work for hard luck is a parallel for footy’s freakin’ fickleness, and the contemporary poster-boys are the New Zealand Warriors and their long queue of former coaches- all once energetic and ambitious, now mostly in straightjackets.
The similarities are obvious. The temperamental light show atop that all-American abode? The team. The bewildered Griswold and his forlorn efforts? Anyone beside Ivan Cleary or Daniel Anderson who has coached the club. And those in hysterics? Everyone bar the supporters.
Yes, this is a Warriors cliché, basic and obvious in all its glory. They win when they should lose and lose when they should win and who knows how stunningly spectacular or disastrous it will look. It makes for an erratic light extravaganza on a weekly basis, and it flashes like a strobe across a coaching graveyard full of tombstones. Just have a go at their who’s who of discards:
John Monie. Frank Endacott. Tony Kemp. Matt Elliott. That short bald guy with the Kiwi accent. All good men, and all taken too soon at the hands of the unpredictable pan-flashing of the very tools they wielded.
So the question must be posed- will the same traits of the club eventually befall their new boss Andrew McFadden? Only time and laziness will tell, however thus far the minty-fresh undergraduate has managed to make moons align and bring some stability to Shaky Isles footy.
But can he keep it up against the weight of 19 years of habitual roller-coasting?
I’m going out on a limb- there’s the definite possibility that he maybe has the chance to potentially see out the term of his contract, and I’m basing this assertion on a sample size of eleven games, a number that is surely enough to make a case for the purposes of an article.
Since the inglorious dumping of Matt Elliott after Round 5, McFadden has steered his radicals to a 7-4 record and a position of dangerous lingering at sixth on the ladder- not bad considering they were friendless at the time he took over.
In addition thus far, it seems he has managed to quell some of the negative aspects of the Warriors unpredictability. Mt Smart Stadium is back to its foggy fortress best with four home wins on the trot and noodle-scratching upset losses have been avoided against strugglers like Gold Coast, Canberra and Newcastle.
Add a few eye-raising successes against higher opposition like Penrith, Melbourne and Brisbane in this time, and McFadden has gone from stop-gap option to potential one-year coach with a payout. Considering their position of absolute desperation in the early rounds, it’s a wonder the hysteria around their performance isn’t greater than what it is.
In saying this, if the rookie’s team can pinch the two points in tonight’s textbook four-pointer against the Broncos, the lid of expectation may begin to rattle and then blow off the top, propelled by the turbo-spew of much hot-headed predictions and hyperbole.
Such excitement would then surely see the return of some other well-worn Warriors clichés- except these would be the positive versions and none of them would involve Chevy Chase analogies. Ring a bell?
“They are the sleeping giants of the league.”
“I wouldn’t want to be playing them in the finals.”
“They are the competition smokies.”
“They could go on a fairytale finals run before being smashed in the grand final.”
You know what I’m talking about. They’re so easy to pigeon-hole- generally speaking, of course.
So Roarers. Is Andrew McFadden supercoach material? Or will his career eventually be just another casualty of the Warriors cliches?
MAX
Guest
Hi Dane, At the risk of getting gravel rash your piece deserves nomination for best of the season. If only the Warriors could play how you write. They attract enormous goodwill. An Auckland Warriors Telstra Premiership would do wonders for RL in NZ. Tomkins holds the key to premiership aspirations. Shrewd buy. Canny is the Kiwi. Then expansion into NZ where the game has a nursery of untapped talent and is understood is far more logical than other options. Andrew is a winner!. Best Regards, MAX
Buzzard
Guest
All I want from the Warriors is some consistently, huge effort and good solid defense backed up with great ball control cause thats where they have their brain fades sometimes, ball control. Geez I love the Warriors. If they ever won the NRL I'd do a Forest Gump and run the length of both NZ & Australia. Heck....I'd even run it naked!!!! Warriors forever, forever Warriors! Warriors till I die!!!
Kingcowboy
Guest
I like your logic there, loud and proud brother!!!!!!!!!!
Storm Boy
Guest
lets gone warriors
DMC
Guest
Signs are good, but too early to be confident of sustained success. Dane, you forgot probably the most rolled out cliche of them all: The warrior's monster pack! Which has not been monster for probably a decade, very average in size, yet despite this, professional journalists and pundits keep rolling out that line... Also, a more recent one - "Unaffected by origin" -- for some reason no-one seems to realize one times Jacob Lillyman has been playing for Queensland. Most NRL journalists and experts are too lazy or apathetic to actually give any genuine analysis to the warriors, which can be frustrating as a supporter. Thanks for the article, a good read and pretty accurate (although premature).
Albo
Guest
The big differences this year with the Warriors appears to be that they are playing with some more regimented patterns that they have never had in the past ! They are concentrating on their key advantages particularly around their right hand attack using the strength of Hurrell and an ever improving Tompkins. Throw in the more confident generalship of Shaun Johnson and a more focused pack of forwards, and the Warriors are traveling with much more consistency rather than playing off the tops of their head like previous years ! The are a chance if this pattern can continue !
John
Guest
Be a huge loss but think he's signed with warriors.
Spiritfree
Guest
Anyone who has been following the Warriors this year since Andrew McFadden took over as coach will know that with Cappy they are a new team, a team who play with intensity for the full 80 minutes. Every player is taking this on board. If one of them doesn't, he gets a roasting and is dropped. Furthermore, every player is showing a massive improvement. And with the pre-existing talent, which itself is massive, you have players like Johnson who are playing out of their skins. They have more talent amongst them than any of the other teams, to be honest. It's oh so easy to write a piece saying "are they the Warriors of old?" But it is very obvious that they are not. All you need to do to recognise this is to look at the results. It may be a bit harder to write an article along those lines, it requires some analysis to do so. Not to bother to think things through before writing the old rubbish demonstrates a lack of ability in the writer. I don't fully understand why an article which just re-hashes old stuff has been given the priority it has on The Roar this morning. Times *have* changed. Get with the programme, Dane et al.
Eddie
Guest
Another Warriors article! They're an entertaining team to watch-even more so come play offs time, the feelgood team in anyone's tipping comp. Why begrudge them that Nordburg?
Storm Boy
Guest
Konrad Hurrell will be a big loss if he has signed with rugby union.
The eye
Guest
I saw Willie Tonga try crossing the road in front of Konrad Hurrell in last weeks game and get flung 10 metres into the air..how are Copley and Barba going to stop that bus...and get up after it
eagleJack
Guest
It's been interesting watching the betting market for this match. Both even money to win when prices went up. And when the Broncos announced they had dropped 3 players the market didn't budge. That's crazy. Even if they aren't key players they are still 3 players named in the starting side that have to be replaced. I think people are expecting them to lose, since they are expecting them to win. If that makes sense. As I said its a big test with plenty of people watching to see if the Warriors of old appear.
Cowboys
Guest
Also with Gillet out injured aswell and Brisbane without back up hooker/utility Granville... JUST SIGNED TO THE COWS!! 2014 premiers - COWBOIS!! COM'ON BOIS, GIT ERR DON!!!
Clark
Guest
They do have the tendency to lose the matches they should easily win.
Buzzard
Guest
I reckon the Warriors will lose to the Broncos tonight. When the Warriors get talked up they self destruct. Im a staunch Warriors fan since day 1, but I'm not sold on them yet for this year. Capable of so much but more capable of brain fade and self destruction. Broncos by 8 in a hard fought match.
Clark
Guest
I don't think it is necessarily that simple. If the Warriors make the finals they are a chance to win the comp. but I do agree with you that the Warriors should blow the Broncos away tonight.
eagleJack
Guest
"Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year!" Big test for the Warriors tonight. If they can't beat a Broncos outfit who have dropped 3 players for boozing, then you can put a line through them for the year. Again.
Gazzatron
Guest
Every Warriors fan out there including myself knows that they get labelled smokies every year and come up short every year. Surely we are allowed to think we might win the comp one day? Why not this year? Sitting in 6th on equal points with the 4th and 5th teams gives us every chance don't you think Nordburg? They are playing the best footy I've seen them play in years and it's not just that they are winning but how they are winning. They have structure and commitment in their play. It's not all razzle dazzle stuff either, they are setting up plays and look like they have a plan and that's the reason the Warriors are being talked about as contenders this year and deservedly so. I hope they keep this season going the way it is but if they do their usual self destruct then you can come on here and say I told you so Nordburg. In the mean time how about letting us Warriors fans get a little excited about our teams chances since we haven't had too much to cheer about in recent times?
Nordburg
Guest
I commented on this very subject a few days ago and was shot down.Every year the comment that the Warriors are the smokies of the comp gets peddled out around this time.And unbelievably there are people out there that actually believe it,when will they learn -- Comment from The Roar's iPhone app.