Playing to draw: If Australia were Bangladesh

“If we can get 600 runs it should help us draw the game.” Those are the words of Bangladesh captain Mushfiqur Rahim after their loss in the first Test to the West Indies.

In other words, the best Bangladesh’s long suffering fans can hope for is a bore draw when Shakib Al Hasan is not playing.

How is Bangladesh supposed to improve when they aren’t trying to win?

Imagine the Australian equivalent…

Setting: Australia versus Pakistan, first Test, Dubai.

Players are waiting for Michael Clarke to confirm the side.

Michael Clarke: Right fellas thanks for waiting. I’m fit to play. Unfortunately ‘Watto’ is out due to his injury. We’re still going to play only two seamers

Brad Haddin: So who is coming in Pup?

Clarke: Watto’s injury changes the balance of the side and means we’re making a few changes because we don’t think we can win.

(Several people greet this show of faith with a face that suggests they’re about to bring up a lower intestine.)

Huey you’re coming into bat at number seven because you haven’t batted there yet. That means you’re batting at eight Hadds.

(Pauses for a moment and looks at Nathan Lyon.)

Ah, Gaz.

Nathan Lyon: What?

(Clarke looks even more uncomfortable and the penny drops.)

Are you kidding me?! Who have I been dropped for?

Clarke: Ok Ussie come in (door opens to admit Usman Khawaja).

He will be batting at six and add to our off spin attack.

(After hearing this both Lyon and Glenn Maxwell fall unconscious in shock. Clarke looks at Maxwell angrily.)

Clarke: Will someone revive Maxi? He’s number nine for this Test.

(At this moment, sheer bedlam threatens to overwhelm the Australian dressing room. Mitchell Johnson threatens to bowl off his long run to the next person who speaks. Dressing room becomes remarkably quiet.)

Mitchell Johnson: Let’s look at the bright side. Pup, you won the toss didn’t you?

Clarke: Yes I did mate.

Johnson: Well that’s a toss we needed to win. Our long batting order can keep them in the field for two days.

(Clarke looks nervous again.)

You didn’t drop me for Virgin Australia Airlines CEO John Borghetti on the basis he has more Velocity than me did you?

Clarke: No! No. No. It’s just that I chose to bowl first.

Johnson and Peter Siddle: Are you insane? On that flat pitch?

Clarke: If there’s any moisture in the pitch it’ll be on day one. Don’t worry I’m not expecting you to take wickets. Our bowling stock is limited. You need to worry only about keeping the runs down.

Chris Rogers: Pup if we’re not trying to win, what’s the point of playing? Why should the spectators watch? This is utterly ludicrous.

Let us hope I can improve my script writing. Let us hope the above scenario is never replicated.

Let us hope, for the future of international cricket, that a more positive mindset is employed by Bangladesh. Against an admittedly exhausted Australia, they nearly pulled off a miraculous upset in 2006 at Fatullah through aggressive cricket.