Why has the death of Phil Hughes affected all of us so? The grief is so raw, so palpable, so real.
99.9 per cent of the people who have been emotionally overcome never got the chance to meet him. Fewer still will have truly known him. From everything we hear, the ones who did count themselves lucky.
»Phil Hughes’ career in pictures
»STORY: Phil Hughes passes away
Talking to a cricket-loving mate soon after the news came to hand, his overriding sadness was because the cause of death was in the act of simply playing cricket, the way thousands do every week.
It’s just not supposed to happen that way.
His mind wandered back to the day in the thirds, a decade or so ago, that he broke his nose when too early on a pull shot. I happened to be on the opposing team that day, fielding at cover point.
I can still see the ball hitting him. How many laughs we’ve had about it in the years since. How different it could have been.
He will no doubt watch his son play cricket at some point in the future years. Perhaps he’ll see him take his eye off a short ball, or miss one, and also get hit, as every cricketer has at some point, like Daniel Brettig explained to us on CricInfo.
How can we not think of Phil Hughes’ parents in a time like this?
In the three years I’ve been a parent, I find myself struggling to keep emotions at bay when certain tragedies strike, particularly when someone has been taken too young. Even when it’s an adult, all I can think about is their mum and dad, and wonder that person was like when they were the age of my kids.
How innocent and fun-loving the child. How bursting with pride the parents would have been.
My son wasn’t even two years old last summer when he took to signalling four like an umpire whenever a boundary was hit on TV. Not long after, he started taking guard himself with the inner cardboard from a finished roll of paper towels, tapping it on the floor as if on strike.
How many living rooms has this happened in? How many more still to come? How often did Phil Hughes, looking like the happiest boy in the world, do the same? It’s just not fair. Damn.
Then I think about poor Sean Abbott, and it’s all I can do to not start crying.
I remember seeing his name at some point during the one-dayers against Pakistan last month, and wondering how is someone I’ve literally never heard of playing for Australia. And now we keeping seeing and hearing his name all too often, under the worst possible circumstances.
For this to happen to any bowler and any batsman, at any grade, anywhere in the world, would be tragic enough. But it happened in our backyard. They were Australian teammates only seven weeks earlier.
There is a photo of them in Australian colours together, celebrating a wicket, as mates. How happy they look. How promising both of their futures were. We can imagine that they might have played a lot of cricket together.
How poignant the next photo we saw of the two them, Abbott tenderly holding the head of an unconscious Hughes on the front page of the Sydney Morning Herald. How can we look at it and not be filled with unbearable sadness? It’s an image that will linger.
Everyone that speaks to Sean about this incident will be at pains to stress what we all know, that it wasn’t his fault. He will know this to be a fact when thinking intellectually, but how long will it take him to reconcile it emotionally? Just try to put yourself in his shoes.
It’s hard to see a scenario where he doesn’t break down at the top of his mark the next time he takes to the field with ball in hand. How we all feel for his devastation.
For me personally, I can’t help but think about the injustice of Hughes’ Test career, which was the focus of some posts on Twitter.
I can see where he’s coming from, to the extent that for me, it’s not trivial, but an underlying reason why it hurts so much.
There were many of us who felt his career was one continuing injustice. He seemed to get less Tests than others to prove himself. Was always the first one dropped, often unluckily, many times when he looked like he might just turn the corner.
There was a feeling that eventually it would turn around. All of the hard years and bad breaks would be worth it. Surely there was light at the end of the tunnel, and when he reached it, he would never look back.
And now that light has been ripped away from him. From us. It hurts.
We all felt we knew Phil Hughes. He burst on the scene so young, so vibrantly, so successfully. Greatness seemed the natural course.
Ever since then, he has been news. If he was in the side he was news. If he was out of the side he was news. A new technique here. A fresh mindset there. A change of state. A change of position. Opener. First drop. Down the order.
And during it all, nothing but genuine warmth and a wonderful spirit, according to all reports and those who knew him. The type of bloke who will have had many best mates.
The tributes always flow about what a wonderful human being someone was, after tragedy strikes and they’ve been taken too early. With Hughes, they flowed from all corners while he was still alive. Family and friends can at least take some small comfort in that.
Cameron Rose
Expert
The outpouring of emotion internationally has really been something Nanda. We can only imagine how humbled Phil would have been.
Cameron Rose
Expert
Great stuff Lach, your passion for cricket shines through, and what better way to remember Phil than that. There might be another writer in the family...
Rose85
Guest
Another good article Cam. When I first heard of his passing yesterday afternoon I literally felt sick in my stomach. I've said that throw away line a hundred times but for the first time I thought I was going to throw up. I can't even remember the last time I was this shocked, maybe 9/11? To me he was a modern day Justin Langer. So many similarities. Flawed technique, aggressive, battle hardened, always smiling, put the bad balls away, loveable characters and the list goes on. If he was beaten by a good nut or played and missed the bowler would stare him down and he would just smile. Knowing that if the bowler didn't capitalise quickly it would be a long day ahead chasing the leather or watching it sailing over their heads while his feet were tangled on the crease! And like Langer was his attitude. He played for his country, state and local club as if it was his last game. His strength for me was putting the bad ball away. Definitely his bread and butter. I know his cut shot was better than text book at times but he slapped bowlers all over the park whether it was short, full, wide or whatever. From what I've read he was humble and modest but I can't help but feel that he knew he was going to play 100 tests. It was just a matter of time before the selectors had him penned in, maybe even as early as Thursday. We grieve now but the life cycle goes on and the game will go on too but I'll tell you one thing Mr. Phillip (#408) Hughes...you will not be forgotten!!!
Brains of a bimbo (Atgm)
Guest
If abott can come back from this then he'd become a great cricketer....
Aransan
Guest
This was in response to posts which have fortunately been deleted.
nanda
Guest
Great post. I am in India and believe me there is a lot of sorrow here. Folks who have never seen him were feeling for his loss. In India there is a saying that the greatest sorrow for a person is PUTRA SHOK viz parents loosing their children. Hell why India that is the universal truth. The family will eventually come to terms for as they say time is the only healer. But one cannot even start to imagine what they are going through right now. We can only console ourselves by understanding that God takes people who he loves young. I have not seen him live or met him but I am in tears as I am writing this.
Max
Guest
His brain was effectively dead/ 'braindead' and altough he mught have been able to breathe he would have to just sit and do nothing. RIP PHIL HUGHES YOU ARE A HERO
ajay
Guest
Cancel the first test match. Make it a 3 match series. None of the Australian players are in a position to play cricket. How will MJ bowl short? It's going to be incredibly hard.
Jo M
Guest
Exactly, so why would he not get one considering it was where he started "big time" cricket?
Cameron Rose
Expert
I think you've summed up how we're all feeling Hammer. It's hard to think about it for too long without becoming overwhelmed.
Cameron Rose
Expert
A beautiful post. Thank-you Jo.
Ross Fleming
Roar Rookie
Guys please have respect for Hughes family, most important thing is that his family's wishes are honored.
Melbournehammer
Guest
I have been grieving for the last twenty four hours. And like most its not because i knew him. I suspect it is because it seems so incredibly bizarre and random. Yes, we've all been hit by a cricket ball, and often hurt by it but it just isn't supposed to kill you. You are supposed to be able to go home afterwards. Plus combined with that there is his youth. For many years i have been haunted by stories of those who died young - I have attached a wikipedia article on Archie Jackson whose life and death seems quite poignant in the context of hughes' career and life. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Archie_Jackson I feel so sorry for him, his family and sean abbott in particular who will I think find the whole thing virtually impossible - seriously no matter how much you love the game I don't know how you could ever bowl another bouncer in your career. Just stuck with a feeling of overwhelming sadness.
Aransan
Guest
For heaven's sake shut up.
Jo M
Guest
He may well get one on the walk of fame or a plaque at the SCG. You obviously haven't seen it, but it goes from the member's entrance near the indoor nets all the way down and around to the member's stand and it is for NSW/Australian representatives.
Jo M
Guest
Some of the boys knew the machines were going to be turned off, but they had to give time for his father to drive down and spend some time with his son and for the others to come and say their goodbyes and that makes me admire Michael Clarke even more than I did before, because even with his own grief at losing the kid that was a brother to him, he still sat at the bedside and supported the family and the players as well. But, even though the machines were breathing for him everyone was still hoping something miraculous would happen. Last night in our house, some people came over and kept coming even late into the night and we sat out the back doing plenty of toasting and laughing at some of the things he did and we did that until probably close to 5.00am. My hubby was talking about the time he did the BBQ at a club function with Phil and they talked for a couple of hours about all kinds of things while they were doing it. The saddest thing for me was seeing my son. Just before Phil moved to SA he had received his new kit and my son was given a pair of his gloves. He had written typical smart arse things on the top of each of the fingers and signed his name on the palms. When he went to use them in the next game, they were way too small and he ended up putting them in his wardrobe. This morning when I finally dragged myself off to bed for a couple of hours, I stuck my head into his room and there were the gloves sitting on the pillow beside him. Brought me to tears for the millionth time since this whole thing happened on Tuesday.
SP
Guest
I'm struggling to understand why this has affected me so much. I didn't know Phil Hughes personally but goddamn, it feels like i've lost a close mate.
Michael J.
Guest
Virender. You are waffling abyssmal and disrespectful nonsense. Please leave the forum.
Aransan
Guest
I wonder if there is some way that we can create a permanent memorial for Hughes, to me a bronze statue outside the SCG is a given but is there something else positive and enduring that we can create out of this tragedy? Was there a cause dear to his heart? Could a foundation be created that we could contribute to?
Michael J.
Guest
I still can't believe he died. Surely his condition was medically recoverable? Truly shocking beyond measure.