Sport vs wife: A Valentine predicament

In January, after New Zealand’s fantastic Test win over Sri Lanka at the Basin Reserve in Wellington, I sat down to fully digest when Super Rugby would kick off again and how this would clash the Cricket World Cup.

I was eagerly anticipating the coming sports year and couldn’t wait for both tournaments to get underway, with the Black Caps in such fine form and the Hurricanes looking a real prospect this year.

To my dismay, both my teams start their respective campaigns on Saturday February 14, otherwise known as Valentine’s Day.

The cause of my concern here is my partner is quite enamoured with such occasions and my limited brain capacity was struggling with the right course of action to take. Sport versus wife, a predicament men around the world have been dealing with for years and my personal war had reached a seemingly impassable junction.

Softly, softly would be the way forward, so I looked for a way to start the process of sowing the seeds of escaping my Valentine commitment.

“Sure are enjoying the Cricket at the moment aren’t you?” An innocent question from my lady was asked while I took in a cricket show one evening in mid-January.

“Sure am,” I replied, “we are looking good to give this World Cup a real shake.”

“Oh, really? That’s good then, when does it start?”

“14th February hun. Coincidently the same day the Hurricanes kick off their Super season too, against the Lions in South Africa.” The first blow is landed.

“14th, huh?”

“Yip, Aussie play England in their first game too, and the Blues and Chiefs are on that night as well. Gonna be a full on day!”

“Fancy having all that on Valentine’s day, ridiculous planning,” she grumbled.

“Of course!” I said, adding sadly, “pity we are going to miss it with whatever we will be doing.”

Her eyebrows were arched as she considered me from her seated position and eventually went back to whatever was taking her fancy on the iPad.

It had begun.

Late January, and I was faced with a question one Sunday morning, “What do you think we should do for Valentine’s day?”

“Dunno. Maybe go out to dinner?” I lazily replied. “Take in a movie as well?”

“Yeah, perhaps. That Mr Grey movie is supposed to open on the 14th, really enjoyed the books.”

I was panicking now, can’t lock myself in here but I was in too deep!

She must have felt me squirming.

“In saying that, a few of my friends want me to go and see it with them so perhaps I will do that with them. Pretty sure you won’t enjoy it anyway.”

Phew, I was off the hook, for the movie anyhow and the conversation inexplicably ended there as other matters needed to be attended too. I decided to take no further action at this stage and left it at that.

Monday this week I arrived home from work to find her preparing dinner in the Kitchen. Pleasantries were exchanged and I took in her average Monday work story.

“What is happening on Saturday?” She asked.

“Uhhhhhh, we hadn’t really landed on anything,” I stuttered, “with work being so busy it had slipped my mind to be honest.”

A little white lie now and then never hurt. It was then that I noticed she was dicing up a cucumber for the salad, and the name ‘Bobbit’ popped into my head.

I was in dangerous territory now but I had dug my hole, might as well keep going. The couch is reasonably comfortable I thought.

“Guess it is a bit late to organise a babysitter at such short notice now, why don’t we stay in? I could get some nice takeaway?”

“Hmmm,” she replied as she finished slicing the cucumber and moved on to a capsicum. ‘Clunk’ was the sound of the knife meeting the cutting board, might need a new one after this I mused. That knife sure is sharp, and big.

“You just want to stay home so you can watch sport don’t you?” she accused. I was shuffling around on the spot like a nervous eight-year-old, knowing I was in the wrong but unsure what to do about it.

“Nooooo,” was my rather stupid reply.

“Whatever,” she grumbled, “Fine. We will stay in and you can watch your sport. Happy?”

She was staring at me now. Not really I thought, “Only if you are?” I nervously asked. No reply.

“Was there anything you would like in particular for a gift?” I stumbled on.

A moment’s pause, then “Well, first I would like a sleep in.” Suits me, I was going to be up at 6 to watch the Canes anyway, so the kids can join me.

“And then breakfast in bed would be nice, you know what I like, about 8.30 would be good.” Check. Canes will be finished by 8, and the cricket won’t start until 11 so everything was starting to work out.

“You can then watch your sport and then you can go out and get me a nice dinner. Letting you watch sport on Valentine’s Day can be your present, got it?”

She was waving the knife around at this point, I was more than happy with this proposed solution.

“I don’t want anything in particular, I will leave that with you,” she turned and went back to her cooking.

Well there is some pressure. Flowers and chocolate would be a good start I decided, and tapped it into the calendar on my phone to make sure I didn’t forget.

I love her, I thought. I wonder if now would be a good time to let her know I will be live blogging some of the rugby this weekend? No, probably better left until the day.

I will pay for this in some way, you always do in the end, but at least I can spend Valentine’s Day with both of my true loves in this life: sport and wife, the perfect Valentine’s.