JackPot goes to sensitivity school

Jacques Potgieter has been fined $20,000 for using an f-word during the Waratahs’ win over the Brumbies. Half the fine was suspended, pending his successful graduation from school: sensitivity school.

JackPot is not known as the most sensitive bloke. Let’s imagine how the first class might go.

Teacher: G’day, mate.

J Pot: Howzit. You hot, hey!

Teacher: Please consider your words.

J Pot: Jeez, is it bad? To say you hot?

Teacher: No. I appreciate that. But intense, emotional interaction with strangers is possible only when we use the mechanism of speech to integrate the individual man into the whole society through group development.

J Pot: Jeez, you smart. Is it very bad what I did to David Pocock?

Teacher: You were caught up in intense conflict. You felt extreme freedom. That’s all fine and good, but we have to work together for a few sessions to help you release that angst and fire and passion within the larger social context.

J Pot: Pocock is tough, hey. He beat us in 2011. By himself. Schalk and Flo and Vic and Danie. None of them could clean him out. He broke Heinrich Brussow’s ribs, also.

Teacher: Yes, I understand. You respect your rival on the field. But let’s work on showing that respect even to people not on the field, or players who are struggling to be included. The ultimate goal of the training is to have intense experiences leading to life-changing insights.

J Pot: I like to change my life. I moved to Australia to see new things.

Teacher: Yes, and have you grown?

J Pot: Ja, I like my neighbourhood. I meet all kinds of people. I like people.

Teacher: I want to give you some immediate feedback. You are a very open soul. What we will do is help you become more aware of yourself, how your actions affect others, and how others affect you in turn. We want to decrease the number of fixed reactions that occur toward others and to achieve greater social sensitivity.

J Pot: Okay. I want to be right. Teach me.

Teacher: Right. So tell me about your workplace.

J Pot: I don’t have a workplace. I play rugby.

Teacher: And do you have a role? In your team?

J Pot: They told me I was supposed to smash guys. Clean a guy like Pocock out. Make him hesitate. They told me to be a mongrel. To dominate. Demoralise. Make the other guy sad. Make him cry or want to cry.

Teacher: OK. And what do you think this engenders?

J Pot: I am only one gender.

Teacher: I mean, what concerns, emotional issues, does that lead to?

J Pot: If I do my job right, the other team is very sad and possibly injured.

Teacher: OK, we need more constructive and beneficial behaviour. I want you to put yourself in the shoes of your coworkers.

J Pot: My teammates? They love me. I was the fan favourite last season.

Teacher: Yes, but also your other coworkers. Like Mr Pocock. He is in your workplace, too, right?

J Pot: Ja, but he is exactly who I’m supposed to knock around. He is the fetcher. I am the cleaner.

Teacher: OK, what are his purposes, motives, and behaviour? What is he trying to fetch? What are you trying to clean?

J Pot: He is trying to kill the ball, fool the ref, dominate my guys, and pilfer. He must get away with that. And I try to catch him when he’s not looking and knock him out. Legally.

Teacher: And how can we end this endless feedback loop to learn more appropriate conduct?

J Pot: Maybe change the breakdown rules? If we could ruck for real, like my dad.

Teacher: Tell me about your dad.

J Pot: He was my dad.

Teacher: Yes?

(30 second pause.)

Teacher: OK, I’m sensing socially repressed assertions in the place of vulnerable intimacy.

J Pot: You want me to be more honest or less honest?

Teacher: I want you to be an ambassador. Self-expression is great, but so is diplomacy. So, next time you encounter Mr Pocock, imagine how you can be yourself, but also kind.

J Pot: I can only smash him through the gate. I will bind on someone else before I clean him out. I won’t talk at all to him. Maybe just: “g’day mate.” And after the game, “cheers, mate.”

Teacher: Jacques. I want you to be serious. I’m not telling you to just be a robot. I want you to develop a genuine closeness to Mr Pocock and Mr Moore in a relatively short period of time. How long are your games?

J Pot: 80 minutes.

Teacher: OK, so for 80 minutes, see things through his eyes and to relate to him through mutual understanding. We want fewer emotional outbursts in group settings. But that is not to say we want less of you. We want more openness, spontaneity, and sensitivity to others.

J Pot: I’m an open guy. I like people.

Teacher: Good! OK, so you understand you can be excellent in your job, but still be more sensitive to other people’s ideas and feelings.

J Pot: Ja. I will. I don’t want them to take more of my pay.

Teacher: Exactly! We want you to keep your hard-earned money. Welcome to Australia.