The ‘commentator’s curse’ is usually thought to be a commentator talking up or complimenting a player, which then immediately causes them to make a mistake.
This however, is a minor curse compared to the real modern day commentator’s curse which has more to do with pronunciation.
A few people will be aware that the word is actually pronounced, and spelt, pronunciation, not pronounciation, but if the Australian rugby commentators were to have a debate about it, they would almost certainly decide in favour of the latter.
This is pretty much what happened when Rod Kafer and Phil Kearns debated whether the middle of a player’s torso was called a midriff or a midrift. They eventually decided, wrongly, that it was midrift and have used this ever since.
To me a midrift could be another name for halftime, or Sonny-Bill Williams walking out on his Bulldogs contract mid term, but it has nothing to do with anatomy. That’s midriff.
It is unfortunate that a round of the World Sevens series is held in Las Vegas, as no Australian commentator comprehends that while there is a major city called Los Angeles, the casino city is called Las Vegas, pronounced Lahs Vegas. The US, British and New Zealand commentators seem to have worked this out; Los Vegas seems to be a purely Australian curse.
Fortunately Sevens had not yet made it onto the Olympic program in Beijing, or we would have been cursed with rugby commentators joining the other Australian accents intoning Bayjing with a hard j as in jingle, rather than the more correct Bayshing.
Commentators are clearly not aware that you cannot ‘step foot’ on anything. You set your foot on something, therefore you ‘set foot’ on the field.
It would also be nice if sports commentators could get sports based sayings correct. We often hear that someone did something “off his own back”. This is actually based on cricket where someone scores runs “off his own bat”.
It’s perhaps understandable that commentators are not familiar with farming sayings and therefore we hear that a team well behind on the scoreboard “has a long road to hoe” to get back in contention. It’s pretty hard to hoe a road and I’m not sure why you’d want to; the saying comes from cotton farming where you have a long row (of cotton) to hoe.
Rod Kafer again, managed to come up with “to all intensive purposes” at the weekend, when he should have been saying “to all intents and purposes”.
There are a few rugby specific ones too.
We regularly hear that someone has “cleared his lines”, generally with a kick to touch. This is very bemusing. I could understand it if he cleared “the line”, presumably getting the ball clear of the goal-line, but how can one clear several lines? The deadball or 22 metre lines don’t need the ball cleared away, the only line in danger is the goal-line, therefore, commentators should talk about clearing only one line.
Another one that comes up from time to time, is “lucked out”. This is usually meant as the ball bounced his way and therefore he was lucky. But when your luck is out, you are actually unlucky. When the ball bounces into your arms, you have actually “lucked in”.
Similarly, saying “I could care less”, actually means you care a lot. The proper saying is “I couldn’t care less”. This actually means that your care factor has bottomed out.
Because of the huge Pacific Island influence on rugby, there are a vast number of tongue twisting names out there. Most of the islander players accept the fate of their mangled names, and it is very seldom that one specifies how his name should be pronounced.
Digby Ioane was one example who eventually decided that enough was enough and requested Yo-ah-nee rather than I-oh-nee.
Christian Lealiifano is a classic example. In Australia his name is pronounced, Lee-lee-afano. New Zealand commentators pronounce it Lee-ar-lee-afano, and in South Africa it becomes something so weird that I had no idea who they were actually referring to.
I’m not sure which version is correct (although I’m pretty sure it’s not the South African one) but someone is clearly getting it wrong. How difficult would it be for commentators to ask him how he wants his name pronounced, or ask the team manager to provide the phonetic pronunciations for all tricky names in the team?
This should also be done for Afrikaner or other slightly exotic names, when the South African teams tour down under. I’ve still no idea how Damian de Allende is pronounced as I’ve heard versions ranging from Dalland to Deelendee. Depending on who’s talking it could be Skalk Burger or Shalk Burger.
Commentators have a responsibility to their audience to get it right as often they provide the only version of someone’s name that we hear.
Most of these commentators once trained exhaustively to become top level rugby players and worked extremely hard to improve their standards of play. But now that they have become commentators, where they require a good command of language to be able to communicate with the viewers, they seem to do no training whatsoever to improve a vital part of their game.
It’s time we demanded better language skills from those who talk for a living.
Lindsay Amner
Roar Guru
What pacifically are you arksing? Something about my preformance? To all intensive purposes it would be a blessing in the skies if you could ostensively be pacific, and I will do my upmost to oblige.
Kia Kaha
Roar Guru
Pacifically or Atlantically?
QldFan
Guest
"Huh? should I ‘investigate’ every time I hear someone misspelling a name? " Then you should ask someone, before complaining about it. Just like I emailed QRU to ASK how Digby pronounces his surname
Kia Kaha
Roar Guru
The problem with Justin Marshall is, as OB says, he thinks volume and speed are the key to dynamic commentary. He has machine-gun bursts of words at full volume and his tongue tends to block the firing shaft and then suddenly it's cleared again and he's already trying to catch up what he should've said already. I agree with TJ's pronunciation OB. He used to be vehemently Blues-biased and that used to rub me the wrong way but I think he's calmed down on that front too simply because the Blues haven't been winning like they used to. I can never understand how Ian Smith got a rugby job. He's way over the top when it comes to singing NZ's praises and he's overly critical of the opposition. When he calms down, I do value his lack of bias and his commentary on the game but then again if he were told to speak like Gavin Hastings, he would sound like a tape cassette for insomniacs. I think the speed of the call makes it difficult for the pronunciation of tricky names. You know they're coming and you probably want to get them out quickly and pass onto the next name and that tends to make a greater mess. Practice makes perfect and some appear to be in the category of I'm never going to pass this exam so why bother studying at all. You want people with rugby knowledge but you also want a bit of dynamism. The fact that commentators polarise opinion only serves to reinforce the idea that people want different things and you'll never satisfy everybody. For instance, Brian Moore gets so comically worked up, he sometimes has his microphone turned off, because England give away a stupid penalty. Some people admire that passion and direct opinion, others think he lacks impartiality. I'll always remember watching the 1999 final in France with the French commentary team screaming Oui, oui, ouuuuiiiiii when France made that incredible comeback in the second half. They ceased to become commentators but became a representative of the French cheering section. I didn't find it particularly amusing at the time but looking back on it now I can't help but think in many ways it was appropriate and probably added to the French viewing experience. I'll admit a guilty pleasure. I liked Gordon Bray as a commentator. One of my favourite expressions of his was 'worried into touch.' Bill McLarenesque. We just don't get that type of colourful description anymore. Many might say that's a good thing.
Lindsay Amner
Roar Guru
I hadn't picked that one up but yes of course!!
Lindsay Amner
Roar Guru
I tend to agree with you on much of that. I'm often asked at work to adjudicate on grammar issues and usually what one person deems to be vile and ungrammatical is often not necessarily wrong. Our understanding of language is evolving just as language itself evolves. Once upon a time you couldn't split an infinitive, end a sentence with a preposition or start one with a conjunction. Nowadays all these "rules" have been debunked and you can do them all. But there are still things that are completely wrong and used in blissful ignorance. Basically my rule is - if you don't know what the word means don't use it. So Josh on The Block winning $800,000 and saying "I'm so happy I'm inconsolable..." just demonstrates complete ignorance, but for me adds to the comedy value of the show. But I wouldn't employ him to talk in public. The problem is that the TV networks employ commentators for only one of the skills that are required. They have rugby knowledge but they can't actually communicate well enough to get it across properly. I would think you could employ one of these types on a commentary team, but the problem is that they pick all of these types. Justin Marshall is quite well spoken, but it should be impressed on him and others of his ilk, by their employers, that they need to study the players' names before kickoff. They don't really need to study to increase their rugby skills so it shouldn't be too much to ask to get them to work on their pronunciation. I don't think that's asking the impossible.
Chas
Guest
Player interviews, "It all goes well for the future", instead of 'augurs'.
Old Bugger
Guest
KK All too true mate. Although, I'd suggest TJ isn't that bad and has gone out of his way to make an effort with pronunciations but Marshall is a real shocker. Even last night in the Landers match, he just kept on making a meal of Beast Mtarawira's name....phonetically speaking, he kept saying Mtawira and missing the "ra" consonant. IMO, his problem is that he speaks at a "hundred miles an hour"....he needs to slow down, take stock and then announce -Patrick....Osbourne....has.....just...sidestepped....his....way....through....the....Sharks....defence.....and.....scored.....a.....magnificent........touch-down......ooops!!! Sorry....folks....I....meant....a....try!!!
aussikiwi
Guest
Moaman, in the spirit of pedantry and in fairness to a good king I feel compelled to point out that Canute (Cnut) told the waves to retreat to demonstrate to his obsequious followers that he was a mere mortal and had no special powers.
Kia Kaha
Roar Guru
It reminds me of the Twelfth Man with Rabs and his team making a hash of Steve Renouf's name. Renoof, Renough... If you run off Renouf often enough you'll score tries. V in Spanish is pronounced like a b so it's actually Las Bay-gas. This is a problem for the Basque bank BBVA as the letters B and V are pronounced differently in Spain - bay and ooh-bay approximately - but in much of Latin America there is no such distinction. Consequently, training sessions were held in Columbia, for example, to get people to pronounce the bank on the phone as they would in Spain. Which raises the point, who is your actual audience? If I go to Paris for the weekend, I sound like a plonker if I say in English I'm off to Paree, which still won't quite sound like the French pronounce it. I need to speak in French to pronounce it like it's pronounced in French. We can certainly ask commentators to approach the pronunciation of the player but it's asking too much of them to make it sound like a native would say it. Some of these Polynesian or Melanesian names sound like someone who has failed to grasp the game of Wheel of Fortune and keeps buying vowels. But often the simplest of names like Brad Thorn get or Carl Hayman get spelt Thorne and Heyman. That can raise someone's hackles much like you're and your can infuriate others. The problem is if you make a stand on certain things, you have to make sure you're damned sure you're right on other things and frankly that's hard to do. Only John Eales was perfect! In the end communication is the key and if people understand then that's the main thing for me. We could all raise the bar in certain areas but who among us holds the record for bar clearances in all areas? To borrow an analogy from the Twelfth Man again, there are several schools of commentary. The Darrell Eastlake school of commentary: you don't need to be an expert. You just need to blow your ring every once and a while and cause all the dogs in the neighbourhood to howl. Justin Marshall and Tony Johnson spring to mind. The Gross Exaggerations and Cliched School of Commentary. You could throw a tissue over the Manly backline. Colourful but ultimately meaningless. Greg Clark and his 'there's about a thousand men outside him' in a Bledisloe Test made me laugh out loud but then again NZ did score the try against Australia! Johnathan Davies and drinking every time he says numbers can get messy. The Not so Hidden Agenda school of commentary. Irrespective of the play, you must get a snipe in at your mortal enemy and build up your own team's stars. Phil Kearns, I dedicate this section to you but you're by no means not the only one. The ref doesn't know the rules but frankly, if you pressed me, I wouldn't know either. Scrum engagements and what's he ruled on there? No it should've been this. I think. Well the ref definitely got it wrong. At the end of the day, watching a game with no commentary on is like watching a music video without the music. They add to the experience and I'm sure, much like being a ref, it's a lot more difficult than it seems. I imagine all sorts of insightful comments come to your mind well after the game but, much like an insult in the given moment, they don't spring easily to mind. Could they improve? Most definitely. Do we ask the impossible? Much like cloning Bill McClaren and bringing him back to life I think the answer to that is also in the affirmative.
Lindsay Amner
Roar Guru
Listening to the Waratahs v Brumbies at the mo and Greg Clark is getting Lay lee a fano right but alongside him Kafer and Kearns pronounce it completely differently and wrong. Surely they should all make it the same???
Lindsay Amner
Roar Guru
Yep thanx Charl. My wife can understand Afrikaans to an extent but it's certainly not Dutch. She does recognise a lot of words and many of them she says are very old style usage. I wouldn't have a clue. I struggle with other languages so decided to become an expert in English. A lot of people would say that American is not English too!
Charl
Guest
Lindsay, Afrikaans is not Dutch. It has it's origins in Dutch. Flippie is simply the diminutive of Flip, or Philip. The Afrikaans diminutives often end in ie.
Harry Jones
Expert
Yep; isolation explains some of it. Brazilian villages deep in the Amazom, Appalachian Americans speak Elizabethean English, and Afrikaners went north from Cape Town into really isolated territory
Lindsay Amner
Roar Guru
Writing it like that would be wrong. Only the pronunciation is Kurindrani, the spelling is Kuridrani.
Lindsay Amner
Roar Guru
Actually that cracks my wife up too. She says that names like Lappies and Flippie are very old fashioned Dutch which no-one in Holland would dream of using these days. I find it fascinating how language evolves in home countries, but displaced people from those countries hold old traditions very close. A lot of modern American English is actually very old English English. French Canadians are more French than the French. Afrikaners must have some very old Dutch still going.
nickoldschool
Roar Guru
Huh? should I 'investigate' every time I hear someone misspelling a name? His name is known as 'Kuridrani', some wrote it 'kuriNdrani', I thought it was wrong, end of story. I don't google/investigate everything in life, especially rugby related.
Jack
Guest
Thanks Lindsay, a good read. My one piece I'll say is that "lucked out" to me means that you have, in a way, exhausted your luck. I think that this may be an Australian saying (correct me if I'm wrong), but I've heard it many times and have never really analysed it in its context. Also, I remember when I was younger, when the commentators all of a sudden began saying Rokocoko as Rokothoko, and Tuqiri as Tungiri. Man that was confusing, but at least the commentators do learn, sometimes!
Eden
Guest
Triple m league shows are great for discussing league but their grammar is appalling. Wendell Sailor done good to get a job there. I also cringe at Facebook posts. "His vs he's" for example. He done good. His done good. He's done good. He's done well. Unfortunately the 'evolution' has gone the other way
QldFan
Guest
Just the point in my post above!