The New Zealand All Blacks have been devastated with shock news that they will be disqualified from appearing in the next instalment of New Zealand’s “Dancing With the Stars”.
The entire All Blacks squad was due to compete as one team on the hit reality TV, but the news of disqualification came after their clash with the Springboks, as questions were raised about the choreographing of the Haka.
“Contestants on Dancing with the Stars are not allowed to have had any previous dance coaching or training”, stated a TV Show Official, “but upon reviewing the routine from the All Blacks in the early hours of Sunday, it’s apparent the players have some level of professional coaching”.
The official was referring to the rendition of the Haka variant, Kapa o Pango, where the All Blacks displayed an impressive level of rhythm and fleet of foot. “It was less Saturday Night Football, and more Saturday Night Fever”, one fan remarked.
Steve Hansen has expressed disbelief at the timing of the decision, stating that his side were looking forward to dressing up in sequin suits and ‘getting their tap on’.
“I just don’t understand why it’s coming up now”, he stated in an interview, “We’ve been doing this for years. Monday and Tuesday are scrummaging practice; Wednesday is dance, and Thursday technical skills. It’s the way it’s always been.”
Allegations that the All Blacks’ dance coach is in fact one Michael Flatley have sparked rage from the Shamrock Isle. There was a rumour that Flatley had agreed to work with the Irish side to develop a Riverdance-esque version of the Haka, which would no doubt be more fear inspiring than the Kiwi version.
All the players have taken the news poorly, none more so than Captain Richie McCaw. This is the second time McCaw has had a Reality TV show dump him, the last after producers of infidelity program ‘Cheaters’, realised they had misunderstood the context of Richie’s on-field indiscretions.
Refilwe
Guest
Rily because of a dance that's Rilly confusing
Sharminator
Roar Rookie
Im guessing this is an attempt at comedy. Poor, and a waste of 30 seconds of my life reading and responding to this.
Gareth Kidd
Roar Guru
Hokey Pokey?
Ph1lstar
Guest
Perhaps the Wallabies should perform their own war dance.....oh that's right they'll get booed by their own supporters, perhaps an irish jig then?
Rugby.ftw
Guest
Ahahhahah this is gold
RobC
Roar Guru
LMAO thanks!
Not Bothered
Guest
The comedy on here is pretty poor tbh and most of it is a poor attempt at disguising spite because the ABs keep beating your team, or at least thats how it appears. I dont mind a good joke but they are not good imo. May aswell call the ABs the AIGs. Its just as funny and is derived from the same frustration. I dont go around saying Aus is on a reality TV show called 'The biggest lo$er' do I? Now thats funny but only because its true. See.
union
Guest
Pure garbage
Jokerman
Guest
Pretty average. And you try and dis the Haka and McCaw with pretty poor comedic timing...it comes accross as insecure as well. Simply childish. And I get some of my comments moderated?! A few too many beers at the roar head office?
Alex Wood
Roar Guru
Agree with mace 22 and Old Bugger - a cheeky little laugh with no harm done. Reminds me of the All Blacks handbag scandal of (if I recall correctly) the early 2000's.
Gareth Kidd
Roar Guru
Hahaha, all good bro. Water off a duck's back. Much appreciated.
Gareth Kidd
Roar Guru
Cheers broski! Much appreciate the constructive feedback.
moaman
Guest
I'm very disappointed too Gareth: surely that should read "fleet{ness} of foot"? ;-) Nicely written mate. The AB rendition of the various haka has certainly evolved mightily since Buck Shelford took it by the scruff of the neck.Some of the older performances were,frankly,risible. On a serious note---in the spirit of less=more I would love to see the pre-match haka reserved for special occasions.I had visions on Saturday night---as the Ellis Park faithful hissed & Ole-d over the top of it - of the team turning to face the crowd too and to include them in the challenge......Get the audience involved!
bornslippy
Guest
huh - cute :-)
niwdEyaJ
Roar Guru
Loved it. Very funny!
Old Bugger
Guest
yep me too.....plus, I'm guilty of tapping a few serious responses of late.....ummm - finger tapping I mean and that's about as close as anyone will see this old bugger, come to a dance floor. Enjoyed the light-hearted comment.....cheers
mace 22
Guest
Don't bother with the haters Gareth. Haters will always hate. I found a nice light read after all the serious articles here on The Roar.
Nick
Guest
LAAAAAMMMMMME
Phillnz
Guest
“I just don’t understand why it’s coming up now”, he stated in an interview, “We’ve been doing this for years. Monday and Tuesday are scrummaging practice; Wednesday is dance, and Thursday technical skills. It’s the way it’s always been.” Geeze Steve now your letting them know the secrets of AB rugby , you didn't have to mention about the Wednesday class!! Disappointed.
Milhouse
Guest
Cant believe I wasted three seconds opening this crap.