In a move as unjustified as selecting Xavier Doherty in Australia’s last World Cup squad, a rogue cricketer has defended the pink ball.
Speaking anonymously, Player X (no, not Chris Cairns) believes that there is nothing wrong with the proposed pink Kookaburra.
“Mate, it’s just a bloody ball. Thirty years ago, people sooked about the white ball. That’s now used during the day and also during the night.”
“What’s the bloody difference? Just change the sidescreens to the opposite colour of pink.
“What would that be anyway? Maybe some sort of blue?”
Player X went on to shoot down recent negative views shared by the likes of Adam Voges.
“The guy bats 5, and is not that good at it. Why wouldn’t he blame the ball if he could? It’s like blaming chocolate for making you fat. It’s an easy out.”
“Chris Rogers is no different. The guy claims he has quit Test cricket because he can’t see the pink ball due to colour blindness.
“It’s not even pink. It starts as a fluoro red and after 40 overs, it’s as dull as a normal red ball is after 40 overs.”
“Balls suffer wear and tear as well as lose their colour. It’s normal.
“If Rogers really is colour blind, why does the colour matter at all? Wouldn’t he just see everything as a shade of grey or something? Here’s an idea.
“How about, rather than judging the pink ball’s performance after one match under substandard lighting in Canberra, we actually give the the idea a chance?
Imagine something strange happens like people come and watch, or the balls moves a little more to counteract dead pitches, or God forbid, the sky doesn’t fall in?”
A Cricket Australia spokesperson said they had started an investigation to identify Player X.
Riordan Lee
Editor
Well played, very well played.
mattyb
Guest
Good piece Dennis.Point well made.Whinging about the unknown is childish but for some reason is the domain of the old washed up types.
fp11
Guest
Awesome! Loved it!
Watto
Guest
New tag for your piece: 'Lame arsed'.
Dennis Freedman
Roar Guru
Not like a bloke called "Watto" to sook publicly?
Scott Pryde
Expert
As always, love your work Dennis. The thing is for test cricket to survive, this is the only way forward. The match might be a year early but I can't wait.
Watto
Guest
Tags: 'Cricket, humour, Test cricket.' I'll be unsubscribing to your tweets. Sick of your relentless puerile muckraking. Wished I'd never became a follower
Dennis Freedman
Roar Guru
It wasn't meant to be funny. It was meant to be a way of highlighting that the "pink ball is crap" argument is extremely premature. We haven't even played a Test with it yet.
Pope Paul VII
Guest
I like it Den
Watto
Guest
As unfunny as this guys tweeting