Australia’s International Rules team hosting a training camp in New York at the moment got me thinking. How does one explain this great game to our American counterparts?
I don’t know about you, but when I love something the first thing I always want to do is make sure that everyone I know appreciates it exactly the same amount I do.
Found a new band? Everyone must listen and be as excited about track nine as I am. Hooked on a new TV show? If you don’t watch the first season you are dead to me.
When it comes to the AFL I am no different. Surely everyone can see the appeal?
Recently I have discovered how challenging it is to impose my love for the AFL onto Americans. Turns out explaining this great game to an American is quite the complicated task.
I mean, sure, American football is complicated, but at least you have 11 hours each game to work out what is going on.
The players spend more time talking trash than actually playing.
The AFL on the other hand can look frenetic and chaotic on first viewing.
So let’s take a look at how a typical conversation with an American – an amateur who I like to call ‘American Steve’ – about the AFL goes.
Steve: Hey duuude, so what is this ‘Australian rules football league’ you ‘Au-cies’ are always talking about?
Me: Good question Steve, allow me to explain.
Australian rules football is the best sport in the world. Imagine if every sport you love in the US got together and then shacked up with the most attractive woman in the world. That glorious love child would be the AFL.
Wow, that sounds pretty great! I love American sports and attractive women.
I know right?
If it is so great though, why is it so confusing?
It’s not confusing Steve, you’re confusing.
The ball seems to bounce around an awful lot though while a pack of guys chase it. When someone finally picks it up they just throw it away while a guy tackles them! It makes no damn sense!
He doesn’t throw it Steve, he handballs it.
Why do players jump on each other then and try and hold the ball under the other guy? Isn’t the point that they want to get it?
Hmm. Yeah. That is a bit strange I guess.
What about the umpires – there seems to be lots of them and they are always running around hitting themselves like a horse?
Clearly, that is how they communicate. Call it m(h)orse code.
Why do the umpires on the sides throw the ball over their heads into play, while the tallest guys from each team hug each other?
They are not hugging, they are wrestling.
Why are they wearing basketball singlets that are three sizes too small and short shorts outside in the cold?
Because they need to move quickly, obviously.
Why do players sprint off after kicking a goal? Wouldn’t it make sense to stay on? Also why do they constantly push and bump each other? And what is that music that is played when they run through the crepe paper? Why do you still score even if you miss the goal?
Why does anyone do anything, Steve?!
Ok ok, I’m sorry… I get it. Perhaps I can best sum the AFL up in the following way:
The AFL is a game that appeals to the niche market of Australian viewers due to its somewhat confusing rules and unique style of play.
For this reason the league is destined to dabble in expanding into an international market in the next 20-30 years only to fail miserably as the questions you raise become too complicated for the league to explain.
That doesn’t sound quite as rosy my superior friend. What happened to the love child and attractive women?
Shut up Steve.
***
Dealing with people like American Steve got me thinking there must be a better way to explain how the AFL works. There are plenty of popular games that are complicated that have worldwide appeal. Surely the AFL can be one of these?
So, after much thought and much less research I came up with this:
I hate you so much American Steve.
I admit it. Our game is about as confusing as it gets.
But you know what? As Rick Astley taught us, when you love something, you don’t give it up. So I’ll be damned if I don’t continue to explain the short shorts and behind posts to our uneducated American friends for many years to come.
Even if they can’t see the genius.
Armadale_Demon
Guest
I've lived in the States for 30 years and never figured out what is going on in NFL football.
Armadale_Demon
Guest
I'm a dual Australian-American citizen who would love to see AFL-style football here in the U.S. I'm surrounded by NFL fantasy players at work, but I can't get them to be even remotely curious about footy. Rugby does seem to pique their interest. I simply can't explain why they are indifferent about footy even after they learn that it exists. I feel like footy has everything they are not getting out of the NFL experience. Anyway, I do not think AFL style football will catch on in the U.S. Here in Los Angeles, it's too hard to see where they would even put an AFL size stadium. They have been trying to bring an NFL team to L.A. for the past 20 years, but in that time they couldn't get a new stadium built. Each major market in the U.S. just isn't ready for the infrastructure of AFL footy, let alone getting an AFL footy filed into an urban high school or college setting.
Nigel G
Guest
Don't worry they call it rugby over there. Its like saying to a Melbourne mayor introducing Queensland State of Origin team the Reds!!!
rob
Guest
I actually found it easier to explain to a yank AFL than he did NFL to me. I could explain most things but he was at a loss to get me to understand pretty much anything... helmets and padding? Constant time oouts? How a giant fat bugger could be considered an "athlete"? If the games that good why do you need such lavish entertainment?
Timmuh
Roar Guru
And yet Americans will use phrases such as "stumped" and "sticky wicket", terms derived from cricket. Indeed, wicket is the most confusing of the lot as it has at least three meanings. American sports have a lot of their own colloquialisms. A "touch down" seems obvious. You have to touch the ball down, so what would be the difference between that and a "down"? Actually, no you don't. You merely need land both feet to be in the "end zone" while holding the ball. And why is that guy from Foot Locker out on the field throwing his handkerchief around anyway. Cricket can be confusing. Especially if you try to take too much in at once. Frankly, while I love the game, I can't understand how anyone who doesn't grow up with it could ever comprehend its appeal.
trenerry boy
Roar Rookie
@ Terry, before the AFL, there was the Australian National Football Council , Australasian Football council and a couple of other National Orgs, it was not just Victorian driven , but seeing it is regarded as the home of football Victoria with the most players, money etc would have a big say.
Terry from Nyngan
Guest
Good trenerry I was referring to the VFL not the AFL.
trenerry boy
Roar Rookie
Not at all, i have never suggested fans other than AF fans should not post here, but definitely pointing out the irony in bwuce's posts, he claimed on the RL board that posters other than RL fans should not post.
Pat malone
Guest
Pot calling kettle black?
trenerry boy
Roar Rookie
It appears you are still upset about the RL kiddies now playing AFL, it is really not my fault they chose to play a much better game and a Australian one to boot as well.
trenerry boy
Roar Rookie
Bwuce best fits you though Bwuce.
trenerry boy
Roar Rookie
Melbourne Rules before Victorian rules, just like the English game Rugby which is based on its historical Englsh school called Rugby and Rugby League which is it’s smaller poorer cousin
trenerry boy
Roar Rookie
Melbourne Rules before Victorian rules, just like the English game Rugby which is based on its historical roots of the school called Rugby and Rugby League which is it's smaller poorer cousin.
Bruce
Guest
Victorian Rules is the historical name of the game and the moniker that best fits it.
Bruce
Guest
How many names have you got on this site trenerry?? You seem very confused you poor bugger. I hope you haven't hit the syrup early today.
trenerry boy
Roar Rookie
The AFL is Run by a board with a West Australian as a Chairman, and a South Australian as CEO Besides those 2 the Commissioners are 4 Victorians, 2 West Australians and one NSWelshman. How are things up in Nyngan ?, got your finger on the pulse of it all i see.
Terry from Nyngan
Guest
That's a good question. A fair guess that there is no way the VFL ever took input from the other states about rules. Victorian rules is probably correct. Playing soccer in WA doesn't mean it is played under WA soccer rules. It is still soccer. Footy all over Austrlia was just VFL rules. Now AFL rules.
Minz
Guest
By "Victorian Rules" do you mean "Victorian, South Australian, Western Australian, Tasmanian and Northern Territorian Rules" I can understand needing to use short-hand, that's a bit of a mouthful. It'd be simpler to say "football" tho.
trenerry boy
Roar Rookie
I have watched ice hockey and find it hard to follow the puck ( Sp) puk
Minz
Guest
As someone who grew up with Aussie rules, ice hockey was easy to watch when I was living in North America. I think it was the continuous play - for someone who's used to the discrete plays of American football and baseball, I suspect continuous play is hard to get used to. And vice versa, I find American football and baseball challenging live due to the lack of flow (like you said, football games do seem to go for 11 hours).