You are Macaulay Culkin. You debut straight out of your mother’s womb and smash the box office. You star in another. Then the paparazzi wait outside your sandlot to wait for your first pimple to break. You’re the chosen one. You are the next big thing, now.
But then it all goes poof. The teens are cruel to you. And slowly the paparazzi just wait for you to trip on the red carpet. And when you do, everyone laughs. You lose your fans, your flair, your faith.
Then you come back. Years later. Given a second chance at stardom, in a low key Coen brothers indie movie. People will you to succeed. What do you do? You screw up the first day of shoot. Because no one knows you’ve got a terrible stutter now. When the camera sizzles on, your tongue freezes. You stammer. You bomb again.
And everyone laughs. You’re the boy wonder who is destined to fail.
You are Ashton Agar. Picked out of nowhere to debut for Australia, in the cauldron of an Ashes Test in England. Playing against one of the best attacks in the world, in front of a crowd who is just waiting for this 19-year old kid to fail, you come in at No.10 – and smash 98 on debut. The boy who would be king. Australia’s new wunderkid.
In just one month, you’re Australia’s new punching bag. Because you fail again and again. That debut knock of 98? A burden of hype that crushes you with the weight of expectations.
Fast forward by four years. You’ve spent all this time alone, drifting away from the game, until suddenly, luck turns. Australian selectors decide to punt on you again. People scoff. Nathan Lyon, the country’s top spinner, has been left out just to accommodate you. A wild hunch. But people still believe in you. Your captain believes you.
In the third over of the first game in the World T20, against the world’s biggest flat track bully, Martin Guptill, you get tossed the ball. You’ve never bowled so early in an innings before in your entire life. You are a spinner who’s never convinced anyone. You’re the child prodigy who became the lucky fluke.
But here’s your chance, your stage, your redemption. The weather’s nice. There are snowy mountains behind you. Perhaps the drift will help.
What do you do? Your first ball is a full toss, Guptill monsters it for a six. You sink your head into your hands. This is cruel. But your teammates will you on. Just a ball, Agar. C’mon, show them what you got.
So you do – your second ball is another low full toss, and Guptill smites it for another six. This is no longer just cruel, this is comical. But the over isn’t over yet.
After three dot balls, your last delivery goes for another six. Your chance for redemption has come and gone. You’re now wishing you were home, alone.
Steve Whitey
Guest
What a nasty piece of writing. I am not a Agar fan but he was not well managed by CA.
Freo As
Guest
The logic is nuts. Culkin was given his big break because he was the kind of cute they needed and succeeded. Cute is a different skill to acting ability and presence as an adult, which Hollywood wants from mature film stars. Ashton was selected for his cricketing ability, which has stayed a requirement from his first selection to now.
Monitor lizard
Guest
The writing here was well paced, but jesus, the logic is lousy. And try not being so nasty next time round.
Broken-hearted Toy
Guest
Nice fairy tale you've written. The analogy hardly works though, does it? He's 23, and has hardly played for Australia. Throwing very inexperienced kids into tournaments off the back of nothing is so silly, i don't know where to start with it. They did the same thing to Mitch Marsh about 3 years ago in the ICC in England. He'd hardly played for Aus and had never played in England. That worked out about as well as you'd expect. Agar is one of those hail mary picks that the Aussies are so fond of. It's the basis of Cummins entire career, being the hail mary pick.
Don Freo
Guest
Although, it was the batting, not the bowling that was the problem. Watson, Smith, Warner and Khawaja's lack of urgency...or comcentration were the problems. Not to worry, it was only one loss. wouldn't mind coming across the Kiwis in the finals.
Chris
Guest
I blame Smith more than Agar, but i still do think its completely ok to say Agar was crap in that first over, that was bush league.I am still not sold on Smiths captaincy, its too hit and miss for my liking. I like safe and predictable, odds based captaincy. Smith seems to try to think outside the boxs too often, i hope he calms down soon.
Don Freo
Guest
He finished second only to Ahmed in Shield wickets last season...ahead of SOK. WA's pace bowling had Agar holding an end this season...rather than striking. He also only played 5 Shield games. In those 5 games he scored 2 centuries. Very unfair to make judgements on the basis of one over. He has arrived...he is no apprentice.
joe b
Guest
Agar has been a very important all rounder for the Perth Scorchers. The Scorchers are one of the best T20 franchises in the world, and have a wealth of experience in how to strangle a team with their bowling. Agar is one of these bowlers. It was hardly a shock selection to have Agar on the team. I was surprised, however, to see Agar bowling so early in the game, it would be interesting to hear the captain's thoughts on this. I heard on the commentary last night that he had been ill recently, didn't say how recent, even lost a few kilos... did this impact his preparation leading up to the game? Agar will be better for the run, stick with him I reckon. At the very least, he took a couple of catches... so you couldn't say he choked.
davros
Guest
What was he even doing there ..in india ? Let alone playing and bowling the 3rd over ? Is this more of the crazy marsh ,w a selections ? I dont remember agar really doing that well in the BBL ? Nathan Lyon wouldnt have been a better option or dougherty or okeef ? Feel sorry for the kid ...he was an inexperienced boy who hasnt really done that much asked to do a mans job ...thrown to the lions really ? WTF ?
Rishi
Roar Rookie
Thanks Kersi, Agar's has been quite a journey. And we havent seen the last of him. A certain Steve Smith began exactly the same way, long hops on a disastrous debut.
kazblah
Roar Guru
Nice analogy. And I don't think it's a nasty article at all. It's a piece that points more to how we build people up too soon and before they're ready. Let's hope Agar gets an opportunity to live up to that promise he showed in that first Test.
Rishi
Roar Rookie
I was as gutted as anyone to see it happen, and that's exactly why I thought of poor Culkin. But Agar is one tough kid, and his batting sparked hope. His time may well return soon.
Maggie
Guest
I agree Don, it was strange captaincy by Smith. And this is an unnecessarily nasty article.
Kersi Meher-Homji
Guest
Very well-written prose, Rishi. Almost literature. I enjoyed reading it although did not agree with you all the way.
Don Freo
Guest
How nasty. What do you say about Dale Steyn who went for 17.5 an over against England last night? I'm sure Agar would have loved to bowl with the worn ball the Kiwi spinners used. Smithy gave that ball to the quicks.