It’s Monday, August 3, 2015, and I’ve just been cornered by my Richmond-supporting ‘friend’. Oh God, why did Hawthorn have to lose to the Tigers? Bulldogs, Adelaide – hell, maybe even North Melbourne – just anyone but Richmond.
Alas, Hawthorn did lose, and it was to Richmond, bringing an end to a month of absolute domination not seen in many years.
So I did the one thing only a true supporter could do – make extreme excuses as to why it wasn’t my team’s fault.
Umpires
Ahh, the classic, making grown men seem like spoiled 12-year-olds since the dawn of time. Unfortunately, it was only 15-20 Richmond’s way, hardly game-breaking.
Next.
The playing surface
An unusual one for the MCG, as it’s usually reserved for Etihad and ANZ, but there were a few more slips and slides than normal.
But both teams are MCG tenants, hardly an advantage one way or the other.
Other
Well, that’s it then, out of ideas, guess I’ll just open my mouth and see what comes out…
“We lost because we’re too good.”
Jeez I’m stupid.
How could that possibly make sense? I don’t know, but I wasn’t about to give in and accept that Hawthorn had a bad game, that would be blasphemy!
“Carlton were so easy last week it was worse than not playing.”
Okay mouth, you may have redeemed yourself, I can work with this.
So I argued for about 20 minutes about how Hawthorn had demolished Carlton so completely that they’d forgotten what it was like to play an actual AFL team, and although I didn’t win the argument (or did I), I came away knowing I’d fought valiantly, and also with a little thought in my mind.
That night I checked when Hawthorn next played Carlton. Low and behold, it was Round 23, so the next day (while hugging a tree) I made the bold prediction that Hawthorn would lose its first final.
I still tipped Hawthorn, told everyone West Coast didn’t stand a chance, and watched the game in full. But in the end, my prediction was right, and thankfully the Hawks went on to win it all, so I didn’t feel like I jinxed them.
I forgot about all of this until halfway through the Hawthorn versus Melbourne game on Saturday (actually, for me a quarter in, thanks public transport Victoria), and a little part of me thought we might lose.
And lose we did, in spectacular fashion, ahead halfway though the last before letting Melbourne kick six unanswered goals to win by 29.
All I could think was, “Why did we have to play Carlton?”
Now, I know it isn’t just ‘because Carlton’, but that loss marked three from three losses following Carlton games since the start of 2015. Three from 11 (27.3%) of Hawthorn’s total number of losses in that time. Too big a percentage to completely ignore, but also too small a sample size to mean anything.
Whether it’s real or not, it helps me sleep better believing that Hawthorn are still the best team, and only lose when the universe is completely against them.
So Roarers, which team is your club’s bogey side? And do you have some insane, 500-word-long reason as to why?
Don’t forget to check if your side plays Hawthorn after a Carlton game when the 2017 fixture rolls out.
Peppsy
Roar Guru
IMO a teams bogey side is the team that most negatively impacts them. For Hawthorn they beat their traditional bogey side this year (Richmond and port), so the bogey title falls to someone outside the normal 'beat them' parameters. All opinion, take it as you will.
The Original Buzz
Guest
I enjoyed this article. The Blues got absolutely belted by the Saints after playing Hawthorn, I think they were very tired and needed a lay down before the game. I am going to check back and see how Carlton faired in each of the games following Hawthorn games. Hopefully it won't be what I fear it will look like.
Benjarman
Guest
To be Hawthorn's "bogey side" I would have thought you would actually have to beat Hawthorn..Not lull them into a false sense of complacency
Liam
Guest
As a Carlton supporter, I actually - ruefully - quite enjoyed this article. It's entertaining, and far from the borderline arrogance we see from Hawthorn supporters a lot these days. Wish we could beat them; don't think we'll get them next year either, but we'll see. Anyway, may the losing (after playing us) streak continue!
Birdman
Guest
Carlton fans won't be enjoying your theory, Peppsy. I'm sure they'd much rather be beating the Hawks, not just tenderising them for next week's opponent. It's a good reminder the game is as much about the mental approach as the physical - some of the current top 8 sides with so-called soft draws heading into finals might take note. I'd also note that the Hawks have dropped matches around rounds 20, 21 leading into recent final series which has ultimately worked in their favour -hopefully it will again this year.
Pumping Dougie
Roar Guru
So you're saying playing a sub-standard team like Carlton makes Hawthorn too complacent and under-prepared for the following round? That's a bit nasty - poor Carlton supporters.