The Gabba had a pool, the MCG will have a water slide!
Yes folks, to keep up with the Joneses, the G is frantically scrambling to top the Gabba’s enhancement and will have a theme-park-grade slide in operation for Boxing Day.
Similar to the ‘Summit plummet’ at Disneyworld, it will be ski themed, with a 120-foot slope. Sliders will board from the third deck of the Great Southern Stand and flush directly into Bay 13’s boozy mosh pit.
The MCC are confident it will be the ultimate boxing day experience for cricket’s new target audience: adrenaline junkies.
Not to be outdone, The SCG trust are scrambling just as frantically to keep up.
They have bulldozers working around the clock to dredge a canal linking Sydney Habour to the stadium. The ladies stand will be demolished to make way for the harbour’s new tendril, and New Year’s Test fans can look forward to launching their yachts while applauding another Steve Smith ton.
And all this upgrading hasn’t gone unnoticed overseas.
The Marylebone Cricket Club held an extraordinary meeting last night to keep pace with their antipodean rivals. At the top of the agenda was a bold plan to install a moat.
The moat will isolate Lord’s playing field from its stands, and will not only serve as a recreational area for enthusiasts of foot paddle craft, but as a security perimeter to keep Brexit voters from jumping the pickets to hound visiting international teams.
Most eye-catching though, are developments in Jamaica.
Chris Gayle is lobbying to have Sabina Park converted into a nightclub.
“Cricket in the Caribbean has always had a party feel to it,” his consortium is arguing, “so let’s just tweak it a little more so that cricket is even more in the background and reggae is more at the centre.”
Sabina Park will look install a bar at mid wicket and a dance floor at fine leg. There are also plans to have a dance pole somewhere around cow corner.
richo
Guest
Im in Melb and support the Pies and I struggle to go 5 mins unfortunately...as you would know we like to go big with our sledges down here .lol
Peter Zitterschlager
Guest
We're not all like Eddie down here richo ... some of us can even go 5 minutes without making a controversial gaffe!
Peter Zitterschlager
Guest
I believe they've got that in mind for Glen Maxwell next him he slags off a teammate. The punters in the stands expect more from a creature comfort, though.
richo
Guest
i reckon it would work as long as nobody threatens to drown someone, tough ask for Melb folks though
Barto
Guest
What about a whole bunch of wheelie bins filled with ice for people to sit in?
Peter Zitterschlager
Guest
We've got a heatwave on the way for this years Test, junior. But yeah, point taken: it's been unseasonably mild this spring.
Peter Zitterschlager
Guest
Caroline Wilson could expand on that I'll bet, richo
richo
Guest
the MCG does in fact have a water slide during the "big freeze" Coll-Melb AFL game
Junior Coach
Guest
Being Melbourne they might need a heated spa
JH
Guest
Bellerive is getting an inflatable castle, I hear
Peter Zitterschlager
Roar Guru
'There are also plans to have a dance pole somewhere around cow corner.' Wanted to add to that .... 'Though, the thinking is, a dance pole around cow corner would send the wrong sort of message about the attractiveness of the dancers.' ... but got the chop in the edit. Thanks anyway for publishing roar. Mucho appreciato.