Could one little step make Quade a shoe-in at 10?

When I was ten years old, my father taught me my first place-kicking set-up: the ridiculously accurate and practical three steps back and two across.

It’s crazy how much less can go wrong in a three-step approach when compared to four.

Unfortunately, three things weren’t in my favour: my talent ceiling wasn’t particularly high, my ten-year-old pop-gun made Bernard Foley’s boot look like a bazooka, and my father wasn’t French.

I thought the French were awesome in the early nineties. It sparked with Philippe Sella tearing holes in the Springbok backline and was exacerbated when my father took me to watch them play against South Africa.

While kickers like Andrew Mehrtens and Dan Carter likely had their feet dipped in Holy Water at birth, where they would have been excellent no matter what approach they used, you would probably describe many a French flyhalf as having his hands and feet marinaded in red wine; they were often an acquired taste, had the potential for greatness, but could just as easily leave you with a nagging headache.

But a young boy doesn’t worry about statistics or being sensible, and I had soon abandoned the three-step run-up for four steps, to try and eke out some distance with various stances and triggers.

My kicking was wayward, to say the least, for a long time.

This brings me to Quade Cooper, the Australian player who could quite easily be described as French. When you look at Quade’s kicking technique, he actually has the very sensible three-step approach. What doesn’t help is that trigger, where there is so much that can go wrong before he gets to the actual three steps.

I’m sure you can all see it in your minds, but Quade sets up with his left shoulder facing the ball, where almost all other kickers have their chests open or towards the ball. He then triggers with one forward step with his right foot and then needs to turn about 20 degrees to his left to straighten his chest out towards the ball. He then gets into his actual three-step stride.

If you stopped Quade just after his turn, it would usually be a great starting point, where you could imagine a more traditional kicker setting off from. The problem is that he hasn’t stopped – and like any good professional who’s overcome a quirky technique through hard work and muscle memory, this can still cause issues in balance or needing to adjust the angle or stride length, let alone the usual variables that kickers need to factor.

When it does occasionally go wrong, these all need to now be corrected in his very sensible three-step run-up.

Many kickers have the side-step, front step and turn as part of their set-up – Carter is an obvious one, but he also has his chest open throughout his side and back stepping process, which helps maintain balance.

So let’s stop Quade at our imaginary spot after his right foot trigger and turn. If he was standing still, what would the ‘new’ trigger be for someone who is comfortable starting off on his right foot? And, you may ask, how do you change something he’s been doing his entire career, and has practiced day-in, day-out?

If you think of South Africa, their ‘French’ players tend to be left-footed fullbacks in the mould of Willie le Roux and before him, Percy Montgomery. Many of you won’t remember the wayward, pink-booted Percy, not too fond of defence and who enjoyed risky forays and loose passes from deep in his own territory (sound familiar?).

When Percy was booed out of South Africa, he found himself in Wales. When he realised that not even his sunbed would let him keep his tan, he got angry, and shoved a touch judge, earning an 18-month ban. I don’t know what happened in this time but Percy came back and went one step further, or shorter, as he had a ridiculously short two-step run-up – and used it to rewrite the South African record books.

Johnny Wilkinson was another fond of just three steps in his run up, but the big difference is that he and Percy are both left-footed. Johnny triggered with his right and Percy his left, and could then just step straight into action with little fuss and little that could go wrong.

If Quade steps straight into action off his right he will get to his target wielding his wrong boot – that’s only the domain of Dan Carter in World Cup finals.

So this brings me back to the boy with the unfortunately low ceiling who realised that no matter his run-up, he was never going to kick them over from half way, nor was he French, and eventually went back to his father’s very first kicking lesson.

I too spent years on a four-step run-up and therefore felt comfortable starting off my right foot. Now imagine our stationary Quade, ready to go, who then triggers with a minor step backwards with his right. This allows the momentum for a full three steps – a left-right-left-kick motion.

But don’t take it from a hack like me – someone who does something similar is his direct opposition, Bernard Foley. Foley uses a four-step run-up, for the same reason as the ten-year-old me: he needs the distance. He however triggers with his left foot in one backwards step, followed by four neat steps directly towards the ball.

The beauty of it is that we’re all different. But there has to be a way for Quade to get comfortable in our imaginary start position, with an already open chest and then a trigger (left or right) that will get him off the starting blocks.

He is only 28, but that is often an age when men begin to mellow; they’ve fought against the tide and made their own way and are now becoming comfortable with themselves and their limitations. Often this is just enough to realise that not everyone is meant to knock them over from the halfway line and that there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

Because, although it’s sad, what history has often shown us is that in Test rugby, red wine players that can cause teammates, coaches and fans headaches are often overlooked for average players that simply make fewer mistakes.

So, like Percy, Quade has come back from France, started to get his body in the line for more tackles, and seems to take fewer risks at the back. But if you have two flyhalves with similar kicking success rates and a kick to win a match, a captain and a coach will always rather throw the ball to the guy who does not have the quirky technique that could be tested in a critical pressure situation, it’s human nature.

Quade, while the rest of us are fattening up on Christmas pudding, now is your chance to get on the pitch, find your three-step start point, get your chest front-on, figure out your trigger, and knock a couple thousand balls over the crossbar before February 24.

Because that’s the most likely way you’ll get a chance to show us the other thing that good red wines do: get better with age.