In continuing their policy to fast track young talent, Australia’s selectors have chosen unknown, Timmy Bieber-Culkin, to replace Matthew Wade in the Chappell Hadlee series currently being played in Nu’Zuland.
Wade was ruled out with a back injury yesterday, and Australia’s selectors immediately announced that Bieber-Culkin would be flown over to reinforce the squad.
“Timmy fits neatly into our selection policy,” commented chairman of selectors, Trevor Hohns. “Being 13, he meets our criteria for being youthful; and having done a bit of back-up wicket-keeping , he’s an ideal back-up to our back-up Hanscomb.”
Hohns detailed that Bieber-Culkin was identified as exciting prospect some time ago.
“Timmy was a stand-out in our Kanga cricket program. Not only did he embrace its core values by participating and being inclusive, he really seemed to enjoy himself.”
Bieber-Culkin also caught selector Mark Waugh’s eye while on holiday on the Gold Coast.
“Timmy is a helluva beach cricketer. His ability to time the release of his dibbly dobbly offies just as waves are going out is nothing short of extraordinary.”
Waugh explained that he had actually planned to holiday in Bali, but once Cricket Australia received word Bieber-Culkin’s family had booked a beach hut near Coolongatta, he altered his plans.
“I’m always happy to mix a little business with pleasure for the benefit of Australian cricket,” he added.
After his dismay over the selection of Sam Heazlett, Cameron White was approached for his view on this latest development but declined to comment. Sheffield Shield debutant, Will Pucovski, however, struggled to constrain his frustrations.
“It’s just bewildering,” he vented. “I mean, what’s the point of having path-way systems like the under 19’s Championship if the selectors aren’t going to recognise strong performances?”
He went on to say, “I feel my card’s been marked. I mean, it’s obvious the selectors have written me off. I’ve made all these hundreds in development teams and they go off and select a kid who’s played a little Milo cricket. It’s downright distressing.”
CA have not as yet released a statement about Pucovski’s outburst. Trevor Hohns, however, was spotted google searching synonyms for ‘Earth Shattering’ by a reliable source. He is expected to dress that synonym with a ‘not so’ today.
Peter Z
Guest
Left handed keeping gloves? Is there actually such a thing? Haven’t played in organised cricket for 30 years now, so just wondering if keepers who favor their left hand can now get gloves with additional padding or webbing??
PeterZ
Guest
Left handed keeping gloves? Is there actually such a thing? Haven't played in organised cricket for 30 years now, so just wondering if keepers who favor their left hand can get gloves with additional padding or webbing??
Simoc
Guest
He's unusual in that he wears left handed wicket keeping gloves and is capable of bowling reverse chinamens.
Arjuna
Guest
this was good!
Peter Z
Guest
Nanda He's a multi dimensional back-up, specializing in backing up, back-up types. So his skill-sets are a level below Hanscomb's part time keeping and Head's part time offies. Sort of skill sets you'd get from an intern. Should fit right in with a squad that has a development look about it, eh?
Nanda
Guest
Did I read this right or is it a type. Is Timmy all of 13 years of age? Must be some kind of a child prodigy. BTW if he is a replacement for Wade is he a keeper or is he a bowler , bowling dibbly dobbly stuff.