Change the setlist, Wallabies

If there is one song that best crystallises rugby union in Australia at the moment, it would be Over and Over by Hot Chip.

Repetition is the crux of the song, and it sometimes (ok, mostly) seems the ARU is hellbent on repeating past mistakes over and over again, much like the monkey with a miniature symbol quoted in the aforementioned tune.

If anyone who is competent with Photoshop could please get Bill Pulver mocked up like this for me, I will consider payment.

The advent of the Wallabies 2017 season this week has led me to light-heartedly reflect and ruminate on why I believe the metronomic chaos enveloping the game off the field is a chance for the men in gold to put in the on-stage ear monitors, turn it up to 11 and block out the outside world.

Rugby is an ever-changing beast right now (player welfare), things are uncertain (Super Rugby), and people are scared and confused (just why are the Lions playing 37 warm up games before facing the All Blacks?)

Tinkering with the rulebook and formats of the game has been an international pastime recently for rugby administrators – adding bells and taking away whistles, re-adding the whistles and then forgetting to add bells, much to the chagrin of fans.

Against this backdrop the Wallabies slink back in to the sports pages – and by slink I mean it’s a daily search party investigation to read about them – preparing with the minimum of fuss for three eminently winnable games against Fiji, Scotland and Italy.

Those bemoaning the games’ lack of profile and non-box office opposition should consider that this is the perfect time for a Wallabies re-boot, with new players to be blooded, new combinations to be tested, and new ways to somehow blame everything on Dean Mumm in absentia if it all goes tits-up.

(Brian Lawless/PA via AP)

The low-key nature of these Tests, two months before the Bledisloe Cup and near the end of the Super Rugby season means as far as I’m concerned the pressure is off.

We can still peek over the hill at the World Cup in two and a half years’ time, but experimenting and not being afraid to fail while trying something new should be what these Tests are about.

Think about how stress-free and sunnier life seems after you’ve handed in your notice at work, or when your team already has the title/finals spot locked up. There is an instantly liberating effect, and that is exactly the vibe that needs to permeate the squad.

The afternoon kick-offs (one of the best things the ARU have re-introduced in the past five years) and different opposing teams to normal should add an even more home-spun feel to proceedings, so big-game nerves should not be an issue.

Wallabies Tests are like a personal anchor for me, as no matter where I am in the world, my homing pigeon instincts will lead me to the nearest Irish pub, no matter the time of day or physical state.

Despite the trials, tribulations and travails of Australian rugby in the past couple of years, Wallabies Tests are always there for you, much like the loyal family dog, your best mates who consistently make you drink too much, or the comforting kebab after a failed night on the pull. Welcome back old friend.