In his brilliant 2010 autobiography, Life, legendary Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards devoted a memorable passage to slamming the city of Dunedin much like one of his beloved open G chords.
He stated “But my god, there are some black holes. Dunedin, for instance, almost the southernmost city in the world, in New Zealand. It looked like Tombstone and it felt like that. It still had hitching rails.”
To someone who grew up in the blistering hot, sunshine-for-all climate of Brisbane, any mention of Dunedin, especially during rugby season, was spoken about in fearful tones, with tales of a faraway land bathed in rain and darkness every day of every year abound.
Turns out this spectral, scary spot of land at the bottom of the earth, inhabited by monstrous rugby playing farmers whose place of worship was named ‘The House of Pain’, is actually pretty bloody nice and friendly these days.
Spectacular scenery, a thriving underground arts scene and a massive university presence all give off a pretty postcard picture of Dunedin. For those after a comedy show, the Wallabies are in town this week, and heaven knows they could do with a lecture or tutorial or two in things such as ‘Tackling 101′, ‘Aggressiveness 101′ or even ‘Absolutely anything to do with winning a rugby game 101′.
(AAP Image/Dean Lewins)
If the players’ minds are elsewhere or they are rather more interested in other pursuits (much like their sightseeing tour of ANZ Stadium on Saturday), there is Cadbury World smack bang in the middle of Dunedin. It’s supposedly a favourite fact-finding destination for Nathan Grey, which is all too apparent when you consider his defensive schemes are as useful as a chocolate teapot.
The playlist for the week, which they’ll be listening to in between sand dune sprint sessions and Sportscraft modelling shoots, includes such Dunedin-inspired Keith Richards Rolling Stones songs as No Expectations, Paint It Black, Stop Breaking Down, Emotional Rescue and of course, (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction. Believe it or not, Happy did not make the final cut.
Lastly, if they want to see the past, present and future of rugby in Australia, they can always tune in to the Shute Shield decider between Norths and Warringah at North Sydney Oval, in case they missed University of Queensland defeat GPS in the Brisbane decider at Ballymore last weekend.
The only Bledisloe encounter previously held at the beautiful Forsythe Barr Stadium was a high scoring, roller-coaster of a game in the innocent, nascent days of Ewen McKenzie’s reign as coach in 2013. Salad days in retrospect, especially as the cold, old-school fear of Dunedin is creeping back, and I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there may be a boogie man or boogie men in the house on Saturday, and much like the stuff of nightmares, they’ll be wearing black.
lassitude
Guest
They're staying at Clearwater - pretty much gated away. And my guess is training at Linfield because they can sort-of keep the riff-raff out.
Andrew
Roar Guru
Agreed Bakkies.
Bakkies
Guest
Depends on what parts of northern England. The Lake District, Durham, York, Yorkshire Dales, Hadrian's Wall, et al are well worth a visit. Newcastle, Manchester, Chester and Liverpool are fine cities. You can't judge northern England on Scunthorpe and most of the destinations in the Super League.
Bakkies
Guest
Last time there was a test in Dunedin the Wallabies stayed in Queenstown till the Thursday
Bakkies
Guest
There's a good article on Stuff about unhappy the locals about the Wallabies not promoting the test. 2,000 tickets remain unsold. You should be based in the city they are playing in for the duration of the week
piru
Roar Rookie
Wait till they need to make a movie about Hobbits and they love us
Andrew
Roar Guru
Great song off their 2nd greatest album IMO (Exile still first for me). Agreeed about CHCH - surely there's some great facilities they train in somewhere in Otago?
Andrew
Roar Guru
Yeah it's a bizarre thing I've noticed living here - the amount of people who look down their nose at Aus and NZ as some sort of backwards colonies when some of the places I've been around the UK are absolutely 3rd world.
Jake
Guest
The poms seem to have a very low opinion of NZ. John Cleese wrote the place of as well. Northern england is just as horrible as southern nz.
stainlesssteve
Guest
or the Chathams must have a look at the Southland Times
allblackfan
Guest
As a old-school (print) journalist, I gotta say .. I love a region where even the 5m great white sharks read newspapers; Southland Times appears to be their rag of choice; no accounting for taste!! :-) :-) Wallabies should have based themselves on Stewart Island if they wanted to get away from the Aust media.
stainlesssteve
Guest
surfing in cold water is for Great White Shark-lovers and serious masochists. Dunedin is famous for its medical school, so let's mention Sister Morphine.....my favourite Stones song, features Ry Cooder on slide, so double dose of feel-good medicine. Lyrics a bit grim, but not as bad as surfing in ten degrees centigrade Great article and great points, Atawhai; my wife got fogged out of Nelson a couple of weeks ago and had to spend a horrible night in Chch, where Air NZ could not find it in their horrid little hearts to supply the passengers with even a sandwich. She was treated worse than the WBs would be, though. Even though she's more useful. Why on earth would they camp in Chch? there must be a good reason, beats me
glider
Guest
Thats just gold - i played in ChCh for Suburbs Rugby Club and could only think of one or two worse places to train. They could have gone to one of the private schools at least; somewhere like St Bedes. Christchurch is looking good though with a massive and vibrant rebuild. I laughed at the airport story - i ve been to Dunedin and back a few times for a scenic breakfast overhead and then return to ChCh Fondest memory - Ranfurly Shield Challenge 1994 Otago & Cantabs. Packed Lancaster Park on the bank, crammed in on a freezing cold ChCh Day. Brilliant Rugby - a young A Mehrtens, G Bashop, J Kronfeld , Todd Blackadderr, Marc Ellis , J Wilson, Richard Loe and Co what a game and what a bunch of players. Those were the days ..........
Charlie Turner
Guest
The real waves are in the Naki bro.....Dunedin.....yeah there's waves but ffs it's frigid.
Uncle Eric
Guest
As if we didn't need anymore proof as to how stupid the ARU administration and team managers are Atawari.
Last Straw
Guest
You forgot the surf Andrew. Take your boards boys. Dunedin is awesome. Great waves north and south and even St Clair has quality peaks with a pub across the road. Your gonna get smashed boys so may as well get a few icy barrels in while your there. We just might start up a Bledisloe surf contest.
Bob Wire
Guest
Good one Andrew, all I can say is -- Gimme Shelter.
Mitch
Guest
Great article and appreciate the sentiment behind it. Tentatively looking forward to the match this weekend because I don't believe we can do any worse. Plenty to improve upon if we're to start getting confident again.
Link
Guest
Hi Andrew, How long will it take for the ARU to step in and take control? The Wallabies dictator, Chieka is destroying this team. Captain Hooper is also a massive problem. Did you see how he captain compared to Read?.He also has been substandard at 7 for 3 years, and again was totally dominated by his opposition backrow on Saturday night.He has to go to the bench as a super sub for the second half when the defences are tiring. He is nothng more than a bench player. Robertson is terrible, just terrible, I am trying to work out which of his relatives is employed by the NSW Rugby Union, or some similar case of nepotism.( When is Tongan Thor Eligible?) Hanigan is busy, from what I saw against Fiji Italy and Scotland, but that's all.He gets around the field and looks busy but does nothing, he shows up in a lot in situations, but it all comes to very little. Against the AB`S he was trounced.. What's more ,Hanigan is a string bean. He has no impact on contact, and string beans don't belong at no.6 in modern rugby. As if to emphasise it, the Tahs picked him at lock for one of their last games, and the NSW scrum was noticeably 60% worse than the previous week. The media called it the worst scrummaging performance by an Australian team - so I believe he has no impact on the scrum, either. He should never have appeared in the 23; Hanigan banished oto NRC until he gets some muscle and speed; Timani should start at 8 with McMahon at 7, Dempsey to come on at 8 or recall Higgers. Enough is Enough..
Atawhai Drive
Roar Guru
Keith Richards' sole experience of Dunedin was for a couple of days in February 1965, so when he wrote his autobiography in 2010 his memory played tricks on him and he confused Dunedin with Invercargill, even further south. I too spent time in Dunedin in 1965, going with my dad to the second Test between the All Blacks and the Springboks at Carisbrook (the banal marketing-man slogan "House of Pain" was still decades away). "Dunners" was a good town then and it's even better today _ attractive, lots of things going on, with the university as its highly visible hub. Sadly, Cadbury World is doomed, due to be closed early next year. I'm surprised that the Wallabies have decided to base themselves in poor old ruined Christchurch until Thursday, training at Linfield Park in the wastes of Bromley, near the cemetery. On Thursday they will have to once again go through the tedious ritual of packing all their personal luggage and vast amounts of training equipment for the flight to Dunedin, and then go through the equally tedious ritual of unpacking and settling into their Dunedin base. A friend in Dunedin tells me that the worst of winter has passed, but New Zealand airports at this time of year frequently get fogged in. It wouldn't do the Wallabies much good if they have to sit on a Christchurch-Dunedin bus for several hours in the run-up to the Test.