These days, professionalism has transformed sport into a big branch of the entertainment tree. No longer do we applaud the dark arts of eye gouging, but rejoice in the vulgar grandstanding of human billboards, who unashamedly boast in even the most pedestrian of achievements.
In a bygone era, mighty shoguns would wow us with their brilliance and fans would soak it up. While we came for the astonishing skill, we’d stay for the intensity of the tribalism.
No matter how many Phil Gould pre-game hype speeches, cheerleaders or fireworks the investors would finance to engage the crowd, the anchor of the ship was the product.
The New Year sees all the great sporting roadshows front and centre, but the biggest show on Earth happens in the epicentre of sports entertainment: America.
We’ve all now heard and seen of the great fiasco. From a lavish pre-game, to a vocally acrobatic anthem, to Hollywood-style advertising and a halftime show, awash with stars. It truly is an entity unto itself.
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I’ve had the good fortune of pulling up a pew in the galleries of some the most grand and extravagant shows in sport. The NFL is obviously champion thoroughbred of the stable.
They have marching bands, military parades and scantily clad maidens scattered throughout the streets on the long stumble to the bleachers. Sprinkled with a few myopic chants of the monosyllabic make up, and you have a recipe for a booze-fuelled freak show that doesn’t quite rely on the game being a classic.
Let’s not get it twisted though, it’s brilliant. The Seppos don’t miss a whisker of detail and ensure your wallet stays out of your back pocket for the entire day. LED TV screens in the urinal and gargantuan beer sizes, coupled with a four-hour long spectacle make for a ripper of a time, for what I can remember.
It was only a taste of what would’ve occurred at the Super Bowl this year, but I enjoyed every mouthful that I had. I actually won a passing accuracy contest outside the stadium.
While every Tom Brady protégé and Drew Brees wannabe focused on torpedoing a sniper rifle overarm quarterback pass to the target, my trusty Joey Johns cut-out pass got the job done. The alien technique bewildered the punters, who had never seen such wizardry.
Fittingly, the match was a bloody corker too. It finished with a come-from-behind, overtime victory to the Seattle Seahawks who were the home side on the day. The lads trudged into the sheds at the main break, in the hole to the tune of 28 points, but somehow steered their fortunes away from the rocks.
Photo: Wiki Commons
However, the slice of my soul that loves sport was left slightly vacant and despondent after the game. For all the bells and whistles, the whole day felt like an episode of a feel-good sitcom, where no one would leave disappointed. It was all about the fan experience, and that experience wasn’t the final score.
While it absolutely has its merits and perhaps we could learn something from the Yank sporting feast, the game itself felt diluted by the circus happening around it. Maybe it’s bias because a sport so alien to me could bear no emotional significance.
I had a wow of a time, but it didn’t feel like a day on the hill of the old Marathon Stadium. The ballerina on the moneybox of the NFL might be twirling with great speed, but my voice oddly remained less hoarse than days at cheering on Joey or Chief.
A while back, a mate of mine from across the ditch and I decided to revisit our favourite memories from sport to cure our crippling hangovers.
He showed me the New Zealand NPC rugby final of 1998, when his native Otago downed Waikato in an absolute classic. I watched a 20-year-old match, in which I had no stake in the outcome, with uncontrollable joy. The old Carisbrook faithful surged with every strong tackle and precise punt. And what better venue than the ‘House of Pain’, the sacred turf and spiritual home of the mighty Otago? It didn’t hold 80,000, but looked like an imposing fortress even on pre-millennium video.
In response, I played him the famous 1997 ARL grand final, between the underdog Newcastle Knights and hot favourites Manly.
“Albert’ll score, Albert’ll score.” Those immortal words as Darren Albert crossed the stripe to snatch an unlikely win will bounce around the back blocks of my mind forevermore. Goosebumps that no amount of gimmicks will ever refill.
truetigerfan
Guest
Have you read the article, Mushi? How you arrived at your conclusion is anyone's guess! I'm with you, Tom. I love American football and watch as many games as I can but find the 'big day' frustrating and full of unnecessary distractions.
piru
Roar Rookie
Mate it was one of those days when just nothing went right! On O Our starting QB was out with a concussion after a head knock in our last regular season game (also against the Titans) so that didn't help, but no excuses. We got ourselves behind the chains too often with penalties (and one ridiculously high snap - mea culpa) and so gave the Titans defence the initiative in letting them send multiple rushers. Then we had blokes running the wrong routes, QB unable to find his targets and just a lot of things not working! Our D fought all day, and really holding them to two TDs should have been enough for us to take it back, we just couldn't get it done on the day. All credit to the Titans, they've built a very strong team in their first year, can't see them troubling the Vipers though (who does?) Are you involved with a Perth club DJW?
DJW
Guest
Piru what happened on the weekend against the Titans?
Mushi
Guest
Have you read your article? It's hard to take anything away from it other than a blatant swipe at Americans and American football.
Tom Atkinson
Roar Pro
Hey Council, thanks for your feedback. With regard to your two comments and i'm paraphrasing, that I decided before the game I wouldn't like it, is completely false, I love American Football and secondly that I dislike Americans, is completely false, I lived in Canada for two years and often visited the Unites States, again completely false. However you're entitled to your opinion and I thank you for your comment.
Council
Guest
Well for one you seem to have a dislike of the Americans. I wonder how seppo got through the filter and into an article while various words for Aboriginal, African, Indian, Asian or generic non white person would have been flagged. Your article gives across a feeling of you having decided from the get go that you weren't going to enjoy the game. You related to the NPC game because it was similar to your first choice sport League. It's like someone going to a Japanese restaurant while saying all the while he prefers burgers. And then feeling like he hasn't enjoyed the meal.
piru
Roar Rookie
The NFL is not a good representation of the sport of American football, with it's TV timeouts and constant advertising. It annoys me as the game itself (divorced from 'the show') is no slower than rugby, sure there is a stop between plays, but during the play every player on both teams is at 100%. Even after the whistle you don't stop and have a break, you are jogging back to the huddle for the next play and then back to the line to get set up again. How many players take part in a play in your average rugby league phase? 5 maybe? The rest are jogging back the ten or jogging up to support the next phase. How often does a rugby game stop dead to pack (and then repack, and then repack again) a scrum? Watch some college or even high school ball and see how much quicker the game moves. Hell, go watch your local sides, there is a pretty strong comp in Australia.
Minz
Guest
For mine, NFL is just too slow for the fan not heavily emotionally invested in one team or the other. Hence, they have to make it into a show. Is there a slower sport in the whole world? Serious question! Anyway, if you want a gridiron game that's easier to get into, try Canadian Football. Same sort of sport, but a bigger field, fewer players and fewer downs - makes for more passing and a more exciting game. Plus, the lower amount of money in it makes for fewer ads and replays and such. Much more fun!