No-one wants to be a keeper when it comes to junior football. Every kid dreams of the striker’s glory, the midfielder’s pace, or the defender’s vision.
The keeper is out of place: made to use their hands in a game that is literally named after the control of the ball with the feet.
Failure is inevitable, praise very rare, and when things are going well, the keeper is always distanced from the action.
When I was 13, each player on my team had to try out to see who best fitted the position as keeper. No-one wanted to play this position – least of all me.
I had spent my previous season playing as a left-back, and my team had won the championship (after a nail-biting penalty shootout) to be promoted to Division 1.
I spent the summer practicing my dribbling on my own in the yard and kicking the ball against a wall while I ran to create a ‘1-2’ scenario.
But my dad had forgotten the registration date until it lapsed so I was squeezed instead onto a team of girls that had never played before. I was less than impressed.
Somehow, I was picked as keeper in those forced tryouts. I don’t remember showing any particular skill for it, but the coach – a short man made famous in our club for his many pairs of platform shoes which he would wear to every game – decided that that’s where I would play.
(Photo by Scott Barbour/Getty Images)
In our first game, I conceded a goal when I swung at the ball to clear a back-pass and missed. The ball was rolling softly, it probably didn’t even touch the neck at the back, just crossed the line sheepishly, gloating.
My team hung their heads. The corners of my eyes started to sting as I forced back tears. After that, I would have been happier to sit on the bench than play keeper again.
But our coach drafted one of his friends to train me personally. While the rest of the team ran two kilometres around the suburb, he schooled me in goalkeeper philosophy.
In one of our first training sessions, this trainer asked me: “What is the most precious thing to you in the world? The thing you most want to protect?”
I thought about it for a little while, then I answered “I think it’s my little sister.” At the time, she was three or four.
“Ok,” he said. “Then you need to treat the ball as your sister. Every time the opposition has this ball it means that she is going to get hurt. It’s your job to protect her. Never ever take your eyes away from her.”
With this knowledge, I gained the courage to run out from the posts and launch my body over the ball before the opposition could take a shot.
But I was still afraid of it and my hands would quickly retreat when I felt it flying at me hard and fast.
My trainer explained that the ball can hurt, but never really for long. He pelted and kicked the ball at me, and my hands stung even through my gloves.
I would laugh as he aimed at me in the goals, feeling the hard thwap of the ball on my stomach. He pushed me hard, and never let me feel that my girlhood was something that could get in the way of my strength, ability, or resilience.
I learnt how to dive, rolling onto my shoulder when I landed. I would imprint myself on that worn scrub of dirt between the goals, forcing it to mould to my body while my body also moulded to it.
I started to get excited when I saw an arsenal of strikers coming towards me, glad for the challenge, addicted to the anxiety of it.
I loved stealing the ball from between someone’s feet when they’d already assumed the goal was theirs. You can’t help but smile at your opponent’s frustration when you shatter their cockiness.
I love the psychology of being a keeper: shutting down the angle, staring into the striker’s eyes and sending them a telepathic message: ‘I know you’re going to place this bottom left, you watch’. I love that when the ball is in your half, you’re always on the brink of drama and risk.
For much of the 90 minutes keepers are confined to their 18 yards – but don’t underestimate that this isn’t where they feel the most liberated.
Post_hoc
Roar Rookie
As a dad of a Keeper, thanks for writing that, he has actively wanted to be a keeper, he sought it, it wasn't thrust upon him, make of that of you will. But I suspect it does say something about him, he loves maths and science, when he wa sin goals as an 8 and 9 year old he seemed to have a knack of closing the angles, i wonder if his propensity for maths enabled him to get the concept quicker than his peers. But thank you, great read, well done for your first up article. And thanks to the editors for putting Jada in as the picture, she is a great young keeper and a marvelous ambassador not only for the women's game but also her culture.
Ida Ioannou-Marsh
Roar Rookie
This was great to read, thanks for posting Marron. Galeano is spot on, but I agree with you - rewatching Schwarzer's famous saves of 2005 will never cease to bring a tear to my eye and get my blood pumping. It certainly shouldn't be Aloisi's naked torso that represents that important day!
Ida Ioannou-Marsh
Roar Rookie
Thanks for sharing this Nemesis. I actually didn't know about this but so heartening of Casillas to do it!
Ian
Guest
Great article.. This line in particular....... 'You can’t help but smile at your opponent’s frustration when you shatter their cockiness' Love it.
Nemesis
Guest
GK must be the loneliest & mentally the toughest position on the field. Every outfield player is allowed to make mistake after mistake after mistake. Strikers miss sitters. Everyone forgets within 30 seconds. But, if the GK makes a single mistake & it leads to a goal, everyone remembers forever. Ida, I don't know if you've seen this video posted by Iker Casillas this week with the message: "Behind each one of us is a person. Raise your hand whoever has never made a mistake. Learning from mistakes makes us stronger and accepting them more human”. Casillas who has won every trophy for club & country, wanted to expose all the mistakes he's made during his career, to show the world his solidarity with Loris Karius, the Liverpool GK, who is still being savaged on social media for his errors in the 2018 UCL Finale by https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmaIUW1jSfU
marron
Guest
Lovely stuff Ida. I always enjoy keeping in scratch matches. I have a defenders mentality from my playing days but that's different again, if related. You sometimes need a little bit of the crazies to go in goal I think - as you say, that thirst for the anxiety and those mad moments where instinct takes over. Love it. A few choice quotes from Eduardo Galeano on "the goalkeeper". Oh stuff it I'll type out the whole lot. With apologies for the he! - es en espanol! "the goalkeeper They also call him a doorman, keeper, goalie, bouncer or net-minder, but he could just as well be called martyr, pay-all, penitent or punching bag. They say where he walks, the grass never grows. He's alone, condemned to watch the game from afar. Never leaving the goal, his only company the three posts, he awaits his own execution by firing squad. He used to dress in black, like the referee. Now the referee doesn't have to dress like a crow and the goalkeeper can populate his solitude with colourful fantasies. He doesn't score goals, he's there to keep them from being scored. The goal is football's fiesta; the striker sparks delight and the goalkeeper, a wet blanket, snuffs it out. He wears the number one on his back. The first to be paid? No, the first to pay. It's always the keeper's fault. And if it isn't, he still gets blamed. When any player commits a foul, he's the one who gets punished; they leave him there in the immensity of the empty net, abandoned to face his executioner alone. And when the team has a bad afternoon, he's the one who pays the bill, expiating the sins of others under a rain of flying balls. The rest of the players can blow it once in a while, or often, then redeem themselves with a spectacular dribble, a masterful pass, a well-placed volley. Not him. The crowd never forgives the keeper. Was he drawn out by a fake? Left looking ridiculous? Did the ball skid? Did his fingers of steel turn to silk? With a single slip-up the goalie can ruin a game or lose a championship, and the fans suddenly forget all his feats and condemn him to eternal disgrace. Damnation will follow him to the end of his days." Galeano hits on it - and yet, two of probably my most favourite football memories are thanks to Mark Schwarzer and Ante Covic.
Redondo
Guest
Excellent article Ida - echoes Camus beautifully! If you haven’t seen it yet you should watch Wim Wenders’ film “The Goalkeeper’s Fear of the Penalty”.
Tim
Guest
Well written, I didn't go in goals till over 35s, and had to learn just as you have written.
MQ
Guest
Nice to hear from the under-appreciated keepers. You speak the truth - no one starts out wanting to be a keeper.