With allegations of match-fixing surfacing again and an amateurish attitude creeping into cricket, what about selecting a truly professional World XI?
After employing tools of the trade and putting tongue firmly in the cheek, I’ve come up with a genuine Professional World XI where surnames of Test cricketers represent different professions; namely Engineer, Contractor, Bishop, Butler, Turner, Miller, Archer, Pope, Cook, Smith, Clark and Merchant as you holler for a Marshall.
So here is my Professional team of Test cricketers in batting order:
Vijay Merchant (Ind), Nari Contractor (Ind), Graeme Smith (S. Af., capt.), Keith ‘Nugget’ Miller and Colin ‘Funky’ Miller (Aus), Basil Butcher (WI), Ron Archer (Aus), Farokh Engineer (Ind, WK), Malcolm Marshall (WI), Ian Bishop (WI) and CTB ‘Terror’ Turner (Aus).
12th man: Mark Butcher (Eng).
Reserves: Stuart Clark (Aus), Mike Smith (Eng), Ian Butler (NZ), Ken Archer (Aus), Geoff and Nicholas Cook (Eng), George Pope (Eng) and Ghulam Guard (Ind).
Believe it or not, Guard was by profession a policeman in India!
I was tempted to take poetic license and include Australia’s Mark and Peter Taylor and Michael Clarke but the spellings were not accurate and I decided against it.
As many of the players come from different eras, some require an introduction. Opening batsman Merchant was known as the Bradman of India and his first-class batting average of 71.22 from 229 innings is second only to Don Bradman’s of 95.14.
On the tour of England during a wet 1946, Merchant scored 2385 runs at 74.50. Making him one of five Cricketers of the Year 1947, Wisden wrote, “No praise is too high for Merchant who, on any reckoning, must be counted one of world’s greatest batsmen.”
When selecting England’s team to Australia in 1946-47, England needed a reliable partner for Len Hutton. Merchant’s consistency made an English critic sigh, “I wish we could paint Merchant white and take him with us to Australia.”
The Aussie all-rounder Keith Miller was so dynamic and spectacular that today he would have been auctioned for 10 million dollars by an IPL franchise. No wonder he was nicknamed Nugget!
Leading India in the West Indies in 1962, Contractor became the first Test cricketer to almost die on the field when a chucker from Charlie Griffith hit him on his head.
Charles Turner captured 101 wickets at 16.53 in only 17 Tests from 1886 to 1894 and was nicknamed Terror.
Marshall and Keith Miller will open the attack, ‘Terror’ Turner coming at first change, then Bishop and Archer. ‘Funky’ Miller will be the lone spinner, colouring the occasion by dyeing his hair rainbow!
A Professional XI needs professional umpires and they are England’s David Shepherd and India’s Piloo Reporter.
Any additions, Roarers?
Vinay Verma
Roar Guru
Sheek, I posted that first thing in the morning and it was on my screen but saying it was being moderated. I know you posted not knowing the contents of mine. Not for one moment did I think anything else. It only proves that your reservoir of stored wisdom is infinite. I was surprised though, that you did not remark on Goochie's hair loss.
sheek
Guest
Vinay, Where's that opening post of yours been hiding? I'm sure it wasn't there when I submitted my first 3 posts..... ?!
Vinay Verma
Roar Guru
Sheek, along with Prince and King to captain the X1's! PS,see my not on King and Prince in the first post.
albatross
Roar Pro
Drapers, Pages, Porters, Skinners, Tanners, Officers, Judges, Masons. Falconers, Priests, Monks, Seamans, Fishers, Divers?
sheek
Guest
Brett, Wonderful thing, the internet - a great time waster! And it gives you an excuse to avoid doing the dreary house chores, especially when the wife's away for the weekend..... Kersi, I better go do some housework..... !
albatross
Roar Pro
"Guard" is also how members of the Garda Sicíní in Ireland are referred to. Any Potters? Grooms? Haywards. Scriveners, Reeves, Wainwrights, Chapmans?
Forgetmenot
Guest
Love it!! Very original article.
Kersi Meher-Homji
Guest
Thank you, Sheek for your valuable additions. Very professional ! I want a second XI to beat my XI. So send in your alternate XI or important tradesmen and women..
Brett McKay
Expert
Kersi, I have no-one to add here, I'm just concerned that Sheek is talking to himself..........
sheek
Guest
BTW - a fletcher had a very important job in the middle ages - he designed & crafted bows & quivers of arrows. A cooper designed & crafted barrels for water, wine, beer, fruit & salted food. And any other storage goods, i suppose. And I got farrer wrong, it should be farrier (with an 'I') - a blacksmith who shoes horses.
sheek
Guest
Kersi, I don't suppose kings & princes are actually a profession, or bishops & popes, but here's a few more to consider anyway. Australia: Terry ALDERMAN, Charles BANNERMAN, William COOPER, Bert IRONMONGER, Craig SERJEANT, Michael SLATER. England: Bob BARBER, Harry DEAN, Barry KNIGHT, Edward LEADBEATER. South Africa: William FARRER, Ashwell PRINCE. West Indies: Collis KING, John SHEPHERD.
sheek
Guest
Hi Kersi, Seymour NURSE is one who immediately comes to mind. Dave & Dudley Nourse had different spelling. Graeme FOWLER is another. Plus a few COOKs, Jimmy from SA & Greg from England. Duncan FLETCHER is another. I'm sure a fletcher was some kind of occupation in the middle ages. And surely there must be a FARMER somewhere..... !
Vinay Verma
Roar Guru
Hi Kersi: Loose batting order: Chandrakant PANDIT ( pandit being a priest) 4 Tests India 86-92 wk/bat Craig SERJEANT ..Australia 77-78 Stuart LAW..Australia 1995..1 Test Bob BARBER..England..1967 Wisden Cricketer..hard hiting bat..HS 185 v Australia..would have revelled in Twenty20 Seymour NURSE Windies 29 Tests .Scored 258 in last innings..Highest playing in final innings. Harold BUTLER..Eng.1946 just after Larwood and Voce retired..good med fast Mark PRIEST...NZ 90-98 3 Tests..(NZ women have a wicketkeeper called Priest) Harry DEAN..Eng..3 Tests left arm swing and spin..1912..had to be versatile in those days. Ronald Draper..South Africa..1950..2 Tests Terry ALDERMAN..terrorised England 1981-91..poor Goochie..lost all his hair! Roland POPE..Aus..1885..don't know if he was a batter or bowler ..maybe he was the team Chaplain! Have left out the Prince's and Kings( Ashwell and Collis) as strictly speaking these are not professions any liberal country would endorse...I am sorry but I could not resist that..seeing as I am a Republican.