Ah finals time, it’s so close I can smell it… or is that my feet?
Bulldogs v Eels. ANZ Stadium, Sydney. Friday 7.35pm
Bulldogs coach, Kevin Moore, has taken extraordinary steps to ensure his side will not fall victim to the epidemic of Hayneophobia that is sweeping the NRL.
After watching Penrith do their own impersonation of an Apple crumble last week, Moore has decided to find the scariest thing he could possibly think of and force his players to look at it for hours. That way, so the theory goes, his boys will not be afraid of anything, and can continue their run to the finals with a win over Jarryd and the Jarryds. I just hope Moore burns that naked photo of Julia Gillard when he’s finished with it! Dogs by 6.
Dragons v Titans. WIN Jubilee Stadium, Sydney. Friday 7.35pm
In the spirit of rivalry round, these two teams will play for a perpetual trophy, inspired by a unique bond between these two teams. We say the Dragons are deserved short priced favourites to win the inaugural ‘Finals Fade Out Cup’. Sadly, it’ll be the only trophy the puffs win this year. Dragons by 20.
Raiders v Sharks. Canberra Stadium, Canberra. Saturday 5.30pm
Not many people are aware of the softer side of Josh Dugan, but we have decided that the time is right to lift the lid on the Raiders very own marine wildlife warrior. A special documentary will be filmed at Canberra Stadium on Saturday night as the newly signed Raiders superstar puts 17 sick Sharks out of their misery. Jacques Cousteau, eat your heart out! Raiders by 30.
Storm v Panthers. AAMI Park, Melbourne. Saturday, 7.30pm
Many wondered why the Deloitte report was a little later than expected in being released to the media, but our Round Review ninjas got to the bottom of things, as always. Apparently those that were assigned to investigate the Storms books were quite distracted, waiting for the tooth fairy, looking for flying pigs, unicorns, Santa Claus and other fanciful, mythical creatures… like innocent Storm players. Panthers by 40.
Cowboys v Knights. Dairy Farmers Stadium, Townsville. Saturday 7.30pm
These two teams should each buy themselves a gate, as it’s as close as either of them will come to defense. Cows in a close one 130-126.
Rabbitohs v Warriors. ANZ Stadium, Sydney. Sunday 2.00pm
Something tells us John Lang will be left ruing his choice of motivation for his team during the week. Lang thought it would be a good idea for his team to take in Paul Briggs’ comeback to the ring as inspiration to get a win against the wannabe Aussies. Me thinks the Bunnies might take the message a little too literally, and this one will be over in 29 seconds. Warriors by plenty.
Sea Eagles v Tigers. Bluetongue Stadium, Gosford. Sunday 3.00pm
In world news, a Southern Right Whale almost wrecked a couple’s boat off the coast of South Africa after frolicking a little too close. Thankfully the terrified crew escaped with only a broken mast. In local news, George Rose is in doubt for this game after injuring his back on the mast of a boat off the coast of South Africa. Tigers by 30.
Broncos v Roosters. Suncorp Stadium, Brisbane. Monday 7.00pm
Just when you thought Master Chef was almost over, a special twist awaits fans of the top rating cooking show. In a special episode on Monday night, Darren Lockyer will be a shock, last minute contestant. His opponents will no doubt try and conjure up some culinary master piece, but none of them will come close to Darren’s 17 cooked Roosters. Broncos by 12.
Good luck to all, and go the tigers!
Barry
Guest
Jeff - couldn't agree more. It reached a crescendo when hayne ran 40 metres across field and flung a wild flick pass behind and over Inu and into touch and Gus and Rabs reached for the superlatives "WOW ! that's amazing, no one playing the game can do what Hayne can do...etc, etc, etc." Then there was Inu's second try when Hayne received the ball and passed to Reddy who put Inu over in the corner and Gus almost wet himself describing how great a ball player Hayne was and how it takes genius to work out that sometimes if I give the ball to my outside man, HE can set up the winger, I don't have to do it all myself so on and so on. All he did was catch and pass - what he did he did well but any park footballer could do it. Happy for good footy to be recognised and Hayne's first 20 mins was absolutely outstanding but just because he's had a good start to a game there's no need to turn everything he does into hyperbole. At one stage we were told that he was Johns, Lockyer, Daley, Fittler and Wally Lewis rolled into one....puh-lease.
Jeff
Guest
Love watching him play, gotta I just have someone to hate.. but lease ask those stupid commentators to call the game instead of telling us every minute what The Hayne train/plain is doing, my mate and I shut off the TV at half time because of the commentary.
James
Guest
Well Oikee...im a lifelong die-hard EELS fan...and im a little nervous about facing your Bronco's up at Suncorp! hehe. Of all the Eels games coming up, thats the one i fear the most. So i guess you and i shall say...may the best team win on the night. Will be a great game either way...Hayne vs Locky : ) Ladies and gentleman, please stay seated for the sake of your own health during your flight on the Hayne Plane, no matter how excited you get and may want to jump in the air in amazement. Forecast is coming tries with a high chance of linebreaks. If the plane enters open space, you may gather the ball afterwards on the other side of the try-line and expect turbulence if a chip and chase takes place. The Plane will be landing at Parramatta Stadium at 5:30 PM this saturday afternoon before departing for a one week venture to Queensland first stopping at Skilled Park followed by a brief stopover at Suncorp Stadium before returing home.
Danni
Guest
Well sport, that's the last time I take your picks. My goldfish coulda picked betta.
oikee
Guest
Yes, being a Bronco fan and playing them in a few weeks, i am a little nervous my self.
sportsfanslife.com
Roar Guru
Thanks Terry, I'm still not sure where I was going with it. Glad you at least liked it!
sportsfanslife.com
Roar Guru
I did give the sacked Coach theory some thought, but it's the Sharks, if sacked Coaches were used as inspiration, they'd have won the last 6 Comps undefeated! So I ran with the Raiders
sportsfanslife.com
Roar Guru
Your warning was well timed Oikee, I think I speak for plenty of opposing Teams' fans when I say 'Uh oh, not again...'
Mark Young
Guest
I agree Brett! It always seems to happen, remember when the Roosters suddenly became world beaters when Fittler replaced Anderson a few years back. maybe that is the key, get to grand final, sack your coach, win the trophy! Probably too far. I would also say watch out for the flogging trampoline rule. every team that gets flogged, bounces back the week after the win! So get on Newcastle! Have a good one mate. SPORTFANLIFE - Love it! Go the Tiges indeed!
oikee
Guest
Toot Toot, head the warning.
terrykidd
Roar Pro
Iloved the George Rose twist .... was wondering where you were going til the penny dropped
Brett McKay
Guest
Sportsfan, here's where you've erred this week: Cronulla. You've ignored the exact science that is the Sacked Coach Phenomenon, for which you will pay either by getting this tip wrong, or being struck down with lightning, whichever is the lesser for your overall tipping rank. Don't say I didn't warn you ;-)