Last Sunday, at 1600 GMT, the rugby world sat down as one and was treated to the best game of rugby played anywhere in the last two years. Or maybe in the last one hundred and twenty-two years, going by reports from all quarters.
Within five minutes, after conceding an early sloppy try, the New Zealand Crusaders took command and were soon easily gliding around some South African Sharks circling aimlessly looking for some chum in the water.
Meal-time never arrived.
Before half-time, the Canterbury crew led by Dan “DC” Carter and Sonny Bill Williams had the match sewn-up with a four-try angelic salvo past a defensive Sharks line that would have had an Under 14 team feeling good about themselves.
Crusaders even had time to bench four players after the half-time mark, resist a spirited fightback, and still add another try to put the cherry on top of the Cantabrian cream.
The whistle blew and the superlatives flew.
Scribes went into overdrive led by the idolising elements of British media who recognise true class – as long as it comes from New Zealand.
No other side comes close in club rugby, they gushed. Northern Hemisphere rugby (as evidenced by the recent Six Nations) was still in kindergarten compared to the spectacle served up in Twickenham they announced – with large dollops of schadenfreude on the side.
European fans were damn lucky to be able to witness such brilliance at first hand in Twickenham scolded some, and some test teams should count themselves lucky they don’t have to play in the Super 15 muttered other, more cynical, members of the Fourth Estate.
Finesse, speed, pace, intensity, sleight of hand, zip of ball, oodles of offloads, extraordinary angles and general awesomeness seemed to be the common vocabulary required to report on the game.
And that was just the Crusaders.
In the best traditions of condescending rugby reportage, the Sharks were highly commended for turning up and putting in a good game, with some belated strong tackling in the second half. But even a schoolboy could see that there was only ever going to be one outcome for this game after the first half-hour.
And boy was it good!
It kinda puts you off wanting to watch rugby ever again having seen Nirvana and tasted its heavenly fruits.
Why would you even think of going out with the somewhat dowdy local prom queen next Saturday night when you practically slept with Dan Carter for a whole two hours last weekend?
Our palate has been nurtured and refined – our taste is now on a whole other exalted level. Why nibble on plain peanuts when you can gorge on southern foie de gras every week?
Why would you bother looking anywhere else once you’ve been to the mountaintop and seen the promised land?
For those of us who can manage to keep the wider game somewhere in a small corner of our hearts, we will struggle on and try supporting our clubs and franchises with as much passion and enthusiasm as we can muster.
Though we know that Munster v Leinster, Leicester v Saracens, Toulouse v Clermont will all roll harshly off our tongues henceforth.
We’ll trudge through the turnstiles with a small part of us forever wishing we were back in Twickers. Switch on the TV will dulled eyes knowing they will never shine as brightly again; breathe a weary sigh as we tune in the sport radio to acknowledge the pain of our loss that tugs at our memory.
But we’ll stand tall, and smile bravely on whatever pitch of grass that is before us, knowing that every day that now passes in our lives, until we live our last, there will be a small corner in a field in South London that will be forever New Zealand.
Roll on weary world.
T’will ne’er be the same again. I have been to the mountaintop!
Rugby Fan
Guest
I'm no fan of Barnes but I did like the line he came up with during the Quins game against Leicester: "Nick Easter has responded wonderfully to the challenge Thomas Waldrom's grandmother has laid down."
Ben S
Roar Guru
Edit: 'utterly atrocious during the 3N.'
Dublin Dave
Guest
Oh God! How many times do I have to answer this? For you blessed souls who don't know what a winter is, can you just please accept that there are those of us who inhabit the northern regions of Europe who DO have to endure several months of seven hours of sunlight, wind, rain, fog, damp, sleet, snow and cold and that there are some things that we do in these bleak times to alleviate the misery and that one of them is the game of rugby? And you want to take it away from us? NO!! It's a winter game. Period.
Ben S
Roar Guru
I see. The Springbok defence was stronger in the Autumn, but it was utterly atrocious in the Autumn. Anyway, I don't make the connection between national sides and Super sides. The Sharks had a long travel schedule pre-match, that's nothing to be ashamed of.
Dan
Guest
Fair call. They were pretty poor in the TN and on tour to be fair, but strangely they were dominant in the S14... the one rousing performance against England was just that (and in terms of matches like that the Ireland match was definitely superior - really loved the nike "triple crown" commercial that got released afterward too haha). But as I said, I definitely see where you're coming from in the way that your local commentators went on... it was just plain silly.
bjornthor
Guest
You can do it Pots, one day at a time, one day at a time. Be interested to hear what the Roar readers thought of this article in the SMH http://www.smh.com.au/rugby-union/union-news/english-clubs-decry-crusaders-london-match-20110401-1cp3q.html It basically states the English Clubs are angry with the RFU for allowing the super game at Twickers. The English clubs didn't support the Twickers game and the only reason they didn't openly campaign against it was that it was suppose to be for charity. But now they are saying it was a commercial venture dressed up as charity. They are considering taking the club final away from Twickers as a form of retribution.
kingplaymaker
Roar Guru
There are two reasons which shouldn't be forgotten why the Super 15 is so much more exciting than the Guiness premiership or Top 14: All the talent in New Zealand say, is concentrated into 5 teams whereas in England it is concentrated into 12 and France 14 (admittedly there are many foreign players, but nonetheless there is a less dense concentration of talent). So the level and therefore intensity in the southern hemisphere is much higher. If all the English talent were concentrated into five teams, doubtless the quality and intenstiy would be far higher, but there would be the big disadvantages that trouble Super rugby: only five teams to watch doesn't spread the game or generate income or develop a big player pool etc.. So there are arguments on both sides of this question, for and against a greater concentration of talent. Another reason is the warmer conditions. Obviously it would be far more exciting to play rugby in the summer in England, but it would be odd for the cricket fan to have both at once and nothing for some of the winter. Maybe it would be worth it however.
MD
Guest
I vote we boot the Brumbies over to London, they will continue to lose ever match. But at least the players can keep up with their metro lifestyle
Derm
Roar Guru
Cheers Brett. Though I know the real rugby match is being played this weekend with the interpros as Leinster go looking for their 6th win on the trot against Munster in Thomond Park. Hopefully, the weather stays good, and the action is cracking. I'm going for a last minute drop goal for the Blues to win it 9-6 - in the best traditions of NH rugby. :)
Derm
Roar Guru
It is, you're right.
Derm
Roar Guru
"Perhaps in the NH people just think that the South Africans don’t know how to play rugby (you know, after that brutal bashing that England gave them… oh wait), " Hi Dan. Thanks for the comments. I certainly don't think that South Africans don't know how to play rugby. Clearly they do. They have some superb club teams in the S15. Equally I wouldn't assess the South Africa test team based on one rousing performance against England. (Ireland recently did the same don't forget). It's probably better to look at their overall results in the Tri Nations last year and on their Grand Slam tour in the November Internationals which is a better spread of games.
grandpabhaile
Guest
Intotouch - here's a link with enough of the glowing commentary to give you a flavour. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OLmBKw2SDag The print media weren't far behind.
Dan
Guest
I wasn't actually referring to the Sharks attacking play, more the notion that all the tries scored against them were due to soft defence. And the grinding Springbok style was precisely the point: the boks play an often conservative, defence oriented, forward driven brand of rugby and can hardly be accused of not having a strong defence culture. The fact was that a lot of the moves the Crusaders put on were actually worthy of praise, particularly given that they've been doing it to every team in a comp that has seen a lot of low scoring matches in the mean time.
MR01
Guest
Brilliant Pots - gave me a lovely morning chuckle. We'll just have to wait until October now.
Ben S
Roar Guru
I'm not sure how attacking play from the Sharks has any relation to the one-dimensional grinding game that South Africa deployed in the Autumn, Dan? Perhaps in the NH people think that South Africans don't know how to play rugby after the brutal bashing that Scotland gave them? Or maybe they've been watching the Bulls and the Stormers this season? Who knows? I'm also not sure how you, and others, keep attempting to downplay what was a very inconsistent defensive showing from the Sharks. There's no doubt that the Crusaders are a fine side, and are infinitely superior to the Sharks in terms of how they attack with the ball, so there's no harm in accepting that fatigue contributed to what was an erratic defensive performance.
Dan
Guest
All sarcasm aside though Pothale, the Crusaders did look pretty good on the weekend... Perhaps in the NH people just think that the South Africans don't know how to play rugby (you know, after that brutal bashing that England gave them... oh wait), so you're just putting the Crusaders tries down to a weak defence that would *chuckles* obviously have shut down by one of your teams, whose defence is nigh on impenetrable. But I do appreciate the sentiment. Your commentators were embarrassingly effusive in their praise of the match. It was a great game to watch to be sure, but the way they carried on was... well, like a couple of teenage girls at a Justin Beiber concer :/ . Perhaps if they're going to do this again, it should be after the respective competition champions are decided and it could be a kind of world club championship. Seeing Munster or Leinster play the Crusaders would be much more relevant in your part of the world after all.
katzilla
Roar Guru
Best post I've read all week lol. It all part of the package isn't it? The fluff, the dramatics, the background music hehe. Sport is no longer just sport, it's entertainment. It makes Vince McMahon look like a mad genius.
Ben S
Roar Guru
'One week later. “It’s the end of an era. Munster are clearly finished. A spent force. Too old. Can’t adapt” No Enya for you lot anymore. It’s either fabulous or rubbish with these guys. Completely ridiculous men.' One of the best summaries of the rugby 'media' that I've ever read. Stuart Barnes is like the excitable teenager who has just discovered GCSE (English exams for 16 year olds) philosophy and poetry and decides to try and include snippets of his new found knowledge into every day conversation. Very boring and very obvious.
Intotouch
Guest
I only saw the highlights but this article (for the first time) makes me wish that i'd heard the commentary. (Personally i wish they'd invent a button whereby you could switch the commentary off and just heart the ref and the crowd.) But this dramatic creaming of proverbial pants sounds like something to experience. Was it really that funny? Or even half that funny? I'd love to hear this. What you've described reminds me of was the sky buildup to Munster v Leinster in Croker a couple of years ago. They had these interviews with players on Sky, (speaking in normal, relatively bland tones) interspersed with Enya's dreamy music and helicopter views of Ireland. It was hilarious! Impossibly romantic scenes and music. "what's this rivallry about Jerry?" Jerry Flannery "ehh, i supose it's country versus city" Que Enya, green fields, harps, sighing, waving wildflowers, the sparkling Liffey from such a height that the grimy streets are obscured in sunlit haze. I almost fell off my seat laughing. Cut back to Jerry looking uncomfortable. "is this Munster team the best that we've ever seen? Will anyone really be able to match their magnificence?" "Ehh, i don't know. Maybe." Back to Enya and flowering beech trees. If there's one singer i would never associate with any kind of rugby it's Enya. Ah the romance of it all! Oh, has somebody just smashed his ribs in? Sigh. Is Leamy swearing again? Ah the sparkling rivers, the beautiful green fields of Munster! Strange how my heart moves. ( What soundtrack did the Crusaders get? Something from the Piano maybe? My heart seeks pleasure first?) One week later. "It's the end of an era. Munster are clearly finished. A spent force. Too old. Can't adapt" No Enya for you lot anymore. It's either fabulous or rubbish with these guys. Completely ridiculous men.
Keith
Guest
Great post Pothale. I see you've also got a great singing voice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=coh7n6dYj5Y