Rather than the conventional code wars, I took a more novel approach to see which code is best. I thought I’d look at the mascots/nicknames of the teams and see which code, in my opinion, would come out on top.
Scores are out of 5, then I took an average for the code to see who comes out on top.
Let me preface this with the following:
1) I prefer animal nicknames over human ones
2) Predatory animals are better than domesticated animals or herbivores
3) Colours are not a great mascot
4) American style word based nicknames such as “Power” are rubbish.
5) This is entirely subjective.
Disagree with my scores? Let me know.
NRL
North Queensland: Cowboys is too American – Jackeroos may have been better 2
Brisbane: Broncos again is too American, and now Rugby has taken Brumbies 3
Gold Coast: Titans is better than Giants / Seagulls / Chargers, but not much 2
Newcastle: Knights works well with the ‘castle theme, and the double N sound is nice 4
Central Coast: Bears is traditional, and a top animal nickname 5
Manly: Eagles is great, but the Sea a bit superfluous. Just makes it difficult to say with the double “ea” 4
Parramatta: While eels are particularly tough, it’s unique and with the river it suits 4
Penrith: Another big cat, perfect for a mascot, especially with the real life panther around 5
Wests Tigers: Best mascot in sports 5
Canterbury: Whilst there are less ugly canines, tenacious and good for headlines 3
Souths: A bloke who kills rabbits and sells them. Unique, historical, maybe scary, but still dumb 1
Sydney (Easts): Poultry aint tough 1
Cronulla: Apex predator in seaside suburb. If only the team was as good as the nickname 5
St George Illawarra: Dragons fits perfectly with St George. Point off for the secondary saints nickname 4
Canberra: Ripoff of Oakland from the NFL. What do Vikings have to do with the ACT? 1
Melbourne: Storm good for headline writers, but how do you dress someone up as a storm for the kids? 1
A League
North Queensland: Nickname spelt doom for the team 1
Brisbane: Trying to keep touch with the historical Lions I know, but a vocal noise is not a mascot 1
Gold Coast: United is a traditional if uninspiring nickname 2
Newcastle: Jets is fairly middling 3
Central Coast: Seaside so it fits, but a Mariner is just some bloke who goes out to sea 2
Sydney: FC again a traditional but uninspiring nickname 2
Melbourne: Victory has the big V associated with it, but otherwise rubbish 1
Melbourne: Heart are lucky I’m not doing negative numbers. Soft as 0
Wellington: Phoenix rose from the ashes of the Knights, so appropriate 3
Adelaide: see Gold Coast 2
Perth: Marketing team must be pretty influential 1
AFL
Brisbane: Love the big cats 5
Gold Coast: I know they are playing on the whole beach thing, but pretty disappointing 2
Sydney: Could they pick a wussier bird? (maybe the sparrows) 1
GWS: Western Sydney Wolves would have been much better 2
Carlton: Colours are weak nicknames, and another shade darker and they would not longer be blue 1
Collingwood: Whilst magpies aren’t the most predatory of birds, colours are perfect and as a blond haired kid I know they are aggressive 4
Essendon: Bombers is much better than the more common jets – a bit more unique 4
Hawthorn: Hawks is perfect – predatory bird, alliteration (knew high school English would come in handy one day) 5
Melbourne: Demons are evil and a hint of the supernatural 3
Nth Melb: An Australian native which is good – just not a particularly scary one 3
Richmond: See Wests in the NRL 5
St Kilda: Saints are supposed to be goody goody holier than thou types 1
Western Bulldogs: See Canterbury in the NRL 3
Geelong: Cats can be spiteful, but not too fierce normally 3
Adelaide: Crows are carrion feeders 3
Port: More yankee tripe 1
West Coast: Eagles is a top choice 5
Fremantle: I know it is a shipping centre, but Dockers are not particularly scary. Smelly perhaps 2
Super Rugby
Queensland: Reds is an insipid choice 1
NSW: Only gets a point as it is the floral emblem. Still, it’s a floral emblem 1
ACT: Brumbies much better choice as it is in the local lingo, rather than broncos 3
Melbourne: Rebels ties in well with Eureka 3
Western Force: The force is not with this nickname 1
Cricket Big Bash League
Not even bothering 0
So, based on this, the code wars results in reverse order are (on average):
Cricket – 0;
A-League – 1.63;
Rugby – 1.8;
NRL – 2.941;
AFL – 2.944.
The AFL wins the code wars!
The Cattery
Roar Guru
Definitely heard of the Mayblooms, but I've never heard of the Invincible whites.
Doug
Guest
Not sure how accurate it is but I found this history of team nicknames in the VFL/AFL. AFL wouldnt have come out on top with the Hawthorn May blooms playing against the Melbourne Invincible whites... http://home.vicnet.net.au/~nickname/afl.html
JohnB
Guest
Amazed it took this long for someone to mention the Shinboners! That's a nickname to reckon with. The Kneecappers or Toecutters perhaps as other possibilities?
brownman
Guest
I used to play against the Moree Boomerangs years ago, they are an Aboriginal Rugby League team, they always called us convicts:)
jus de couchon
Guest
Worst names got to be the Reds or the Blues when theyre not the right colour.
amazonfan
Roar Guru
The best football nickname of all time? The Bloodstained Angels, or the Bloods for short. :D
amazonfan
Roar Guru
Apart from the reference to Brisbane as an older/moved/merged team (it's a completely new club in the same way that West Coast is, and is just the Bears with a name change), I agree with you regarding not referring to the older clubs as their full names. Although it also happens, to a lesser extent, with the newer ones. Good post. :D
PaddyBoy
Guest
Western Sydney Wolves, far bigger tick of approval.
Bondy
Guest
The Cattery. Comment from above. Thats got legs.
David Heidelberg
Guest
West Sydney Drive-by?
Bondy
Guest
I always believe there should be a bit of evil to a clubs Nickname so you can really hate your opponent. Im not suggesting Satan should be involved but the Melbourne Demons is a cracker.
scarface
Guest
I dont know why so many people dislike The Heart name. Its the most important and our strongest muscle and can cause a lot of pain if it is broken or stops. There is a team in Edinburgh called hearts and their nickname is jam tarts. So I cant see why we cant use Aussie cake or food names like the lamingtons or pavlova. Wallabies are only small kangaroos so id like them to change their name to the Vegemite's.
SideShowBob
Roar Rookie
Already done. http://www.theconvicts.com/
Fivehole
Roar Rookie
Contemplated them too, but would have definitely come across as sexist - eg vixens - what can you say about that whilst keeping it clean
SideShowBob
Roar Rookie
GWS Sprawl
Fivehole
Roar Rookie
I think in the the likes of the EPL and Serie-A the colour nicknames tend to make more sense, as teams aren't born with a moniker. However, the trend in Australia is to give them the nickname from the start as a way to distinguish their brand. Give teams enough time and the fans will come up with one. Just means that in their infancy (such as the a-league) often people are lazy and call them the reds / blues because they can't come up with anything better.
The Cattery
Roar Guru
lol, this thread just keeps giving and giving!
Fivehole
Roar Rookie
Here is your mascot in action! http://resources2.news.com.au/images/2010/09/09/1225916/776414-fatso-the-wombat.jpg
The Cattery
Roar Guru
The interesting thing about the EPL nick names (and indeed, most soccer clubs from the old world), is two fold: 1. they very rarely were names born with the team, but arrived over the subsequent generations; 2. they often have more than one nick name, indeed, some have three or four; and 3. there is zero attempt to go hunting after ferocious animals. We're used to the newer AFL teams being born with nicknames, and the peculiarity that comes with this is that without fail, the newer teams are called by the full name, often preceded by the definitive artilce, e.g.: the Adelaide Crows; the Fremantle Dockers; the West Coast Eagles, the Port Adelaide Power; the Gold Coast Suns. Even the older VFL teams that moved,merged or otherwise reinvented themselves end up in the same boat, e.g. the Sydney Swans, the Brisbane Lions and the Western Bulldogs. The rest of the former VFL clubs are NEVER referred to with both the club name and the nick name, unless it's someone who doesn't know what he's doing, e.g. you never use Carlton Blues or St Kilda Saints, rather it's either St Kilda, or the Saints (or the Sainters). Many may not be aware but for most of the VFL teams, the nick name came decades after the birth of the club, and in fact, some have had two or three different nick names along the journey. In the early days, Essendon was referred to as the "Same Olds", and took on the Bombers during WWII (recalling that Essendon Airport used to be Melbourne's major airport before they built Tullamarine). Geelong used to be called the Pivotonians (because the were the industrial pivot of Victoria, yes, I know...) Melbourne were called the "Fuschias", presumably because of the colours and design of the jumper, and Demons came much later when a coach implored them to play like Demons. Hawthorn had a similarly woosy name originally, the mayblooms or something, and once again, it was a coach who implored them to be more like Hawks. Fitzroy was originally the Gorillas before becoming the Lions. Footscray was the Tricolours before taking on the Bulldogs, it is said because they started out as a Protestant British working class club. North Melbourne were originally the Shinboners (because of the abbattoirs in the area. Some interesting names there, presumably most of them would have scored quite low in this article! It's almost time for a sporting club to resurrect the Gorillas.
Fivehole
Roar Rookie
Love your work