No, my favourite stadium, Darkhound Park, or ‘the Hound’ for short, is named after talented local sportsman Ernest Darkhound, who placed equal fifth in Roque at the 1904 St Louis Olympics.
The Hound has undergone many changes over the years, but its place in the community’s heart has not. Unlike some modern stadiums it does not sit in a barren outer suburb, rising from the asphalt like a malignant monolith with only pigeons and discarded chip packets to keep it company during the week.
Instead, the Hound blends in effortlessly with its surrounds, its external architecture exuding both strength and warmth like a veteran football coach’s craggy face.
This is not to imply that it is difficult to find the Hound though, as it is only a cheery stroll from public transport hubs past bustling pubs and family eateries.
However, Manly and Collingwood fans never seem to find their way there… not even on ‘Dental Van’ night.
Passing through the turnstiles by the Farmer Hoggett lookalike ticket collector with your six-pack, beach ball and picnic basket of homemade food it is hard not to be warmed by the intimate atmosphere the Hound exudes. The stands are a mismatch of ages, from depression era to relatively new.
However, this just adds to the charm of the place giving each area a distinct feel.
There is a section for families with autograph hungry youngsters, a section for shirtless young men wearing watermelon helmets and a section for old blokes in blazers and thick spectacles with cloth caps and ruddy complexions.
The only section the Hound does lack is a row of glass corporate boxes full of bored blokes in suits nibbling canapés wishing they were hotdogs, with sponsors and visiting dignitaries instead revelling in the chance to be part of the ‘Hound’s Howl.’
Oh yes, ‘the Howl’.
The Hound is noisier than Phil Gould waiting for the video ref. No tinny pop music or Big Brother housemate ground announcers sully the air, as all noise in the hound is purely organic bar for a dodgy PA used for announcing each team sheet and playing a crappy 30’s version of the home team’s victory song.
This is not to say the Hound is a relic, though.
Sure it has worked hard to remain its quaint feel but it also has been a leader in embracing worthwhile new technologies.
A fully retractable roof as well as several big screens (big meaning more than just a 2005 plasma TV) can be found at the stadium and head to the clean, deep-heat scented toilets and you’ll be relieved, in more than one way, to see each cubicle resplendent with a small flat screen television so you don’t miss a moment of the game.
Such an attitude towards picking and choosing which new trends it should embrace is also reflected by security at the Hound. Whilst Hound security guards are happy to turn a blind eye to more harmless activities such as beer snakes, player baiting and streaking they come down hard on the real atrocities of beer knocking over, sombrero wearing and status updating.
Come the full-time siren and the fans don’t scurry home to whinge on internet forums, but instead race for the corner post, wander through the halls of memorabilia underneath the stands or grab a snag from the happening tailgate party taking place on the training ovals out the back. It is a wonderful place to be.
But now it’s time to reveal what the more cynical and those of you who know how to use Google already know, that just like scrums against the feed, charismatic Australian cricketers and a decent pack of footy cards, Darkhound Park does, sadly, not exist.
But if you do know of a stadium where you can bring in your own food, has 21st century technology and deep heat scented toilets could you please let me know… even if it’s named something stupid, like Super Awesome Telco Pizza Park.
So sports fans, does anyone know of a stadium out there that can compete with the Hound?
Eric Blair
Guest
So, what's the best pub nearby? And does it have a Chicko's like they do in Wollongong?
Rodney
Guest
+ 1
Swampy
Guest
I always thought Adelaide Oval was the most picturesque cricket ground and had planned to one day spend five days lazing on the hill watching us beat the poms. Sadly that day will never come and not just because our current team is rubbish! -- Comment left via The Roar's iPhone app. Download The Roar's iPhone App in the App Store here.
Jimbo
Guest
I would like a grass hill where I can bring my own esky full of beer, and consume that beer during the match. In lieu of that, a large car park for some US - style tailgating so I can get a bit of a glow on prior to the game would suffice. If neither of those two are available, perhaps reasonably priced booze would be vaguely OK.
zach
Guest
When Prince's Park was renamed Visy Park, people called it "The park formerly known as Prince's" . My memories of that place are not great, even though they have a Hawthorn Stand. I remember the semi enclosed urinal up the southern end which operated like a conveyor belt of blokes going in one end and trying to finish before they were pushed out the other. The Heroes stand which replaced it had better dunnies, but kind of ruined the ambience.
jamesb
Guest
as far as history is concerned, I would love to go to Wimbledon one day. you see highlights of the 1974 Wimbledon final between Jimmy Connors and Ken Rosewell, and the features are roughly the same. Grass court, score board, green structural background, white clothing etc. Although you look closely at players clothing, hairstyles, and raquets, there are some subtle differences there.
p.Tah
Guest
Things I'd love in a stadium: Fox commentary/ ref calls streamed to my iPhone via the stadiums wifi ( I'm not paying $80 again for sports ear which breaks after 2 uses). Bar staff that know the difference between a can of Burbon and coke and a can of Bundy and coke When an international side visits this country serve their local beverage of choice, Irish (Guinness or Kilkenny) Welsh (apple or pear cider), English (Bodingtons or Fosters... Ha!) A rectangular stadium for sports that are played on a rectangular field... No more hybrids please! More space between my seat and the seat in front of me. I'm sick of clambering over others and spilling beer A plastic lid for the beer (like those used for coffee) but I remove it when I'm drinking it. So when I carry 4 beers back to my seat I don't spill all of it. A plastic tray that actually supports the weight of 4 beers without collapsing A cup holder on the seat in front of me to hold my beers ( there is a theme here I've noticed) A crache to mind my kids when they are tired of watching the game and turn to me to entertain them
Football United
Guest
got a name for aami park yet? been trying to think of a good sponsor-free name like swan street stadium, melbourne rectangular stadium or yarra park
Chris Chard
Expert
MT, Agree new Cowboys Stadium is jaw dropping, they have some beauties in the NFL. Have only visited one, Candlestick park, which is porbably the oldest and crappiest stadium being used in the NFL but a place choc full of character. What about Arizona's University of Phoenix stadium....with the removable field! Even Des would be stoked with that! Cheers CC
Chris Chard
Expert
Yep hands up I'm a certified Stadium nerd, have a few on the bucket list I would like to tick off (Wembley and Lambeau field especially) but I personally like a stadium that blends new technology with some tradition. Probably more common in some overseas stadiums but I think the SCG does an excellent job of this. At the end of the day though I think most stadiums are like a new pair of shoes, they take a while to get used to but give them a few years and they're hard to part with! Cheers CC
Goldy
Guest
You can add the Gold Coast to that list too now (although whether any cricket actually ever gets played at cararra remains to be seen)
Matt
Guest
Great article Chris, I was suspicious however that such a great place could exist and I'd never heard even a whisper of it. Like austadium, I too am really looking forward to how Forsyth Barr stadium turns out in dunedin. It does seem that NZ lacks a bit when it comes to stadiums. We're stuck with the issue of having most stadium trying to cater to sports that require drastically different dimensions. At least in the other countries where Roarers hail from they have specific Ovals for Cricket/Aussie Rules and Rectangular grounds for Rugby/Football/GAA. Finally NZ is starting to wake up to the fact that you can have a relatively low cost/lower capacity ovals for summer time cricket (grass embankments, long outfields no high cost grandstands) and higher cost/higher capacity rectangular fields for winter time rugby. In Hamilaton and Dunedin they've finally got a quality Oval and Rectangular stadium to cater to the specific sports. Unfortunately Eden Park, AMI Stadium and Westpac Stadium are still neither one nor the other and therefore aren't really very good for anything. For cricket it's massive overkill with huge empty stands and awkward shaped boundaries on small outfields. For rugby you have most of the punters miles from the action making the atmosphere stark and windswept. Oh to have the luck of Brisbane with a Gabba AND a Suncorp! Or Melbourne with an MCG/Dome AND an AAMI Park. South African can also count itself lucky.
Timmuh
Roar Guru
I'm not a league fan, but to me its Lang Park; and even if its main sport isn't my preferred game Lang Park has a history and means something. If I was in Brisbane and told that something was on at Suncorp I wouldn't have a clue where they were on about. Lang Park and Ballymore are names I know, even coming from an Australin Football background. The renaming of stadiums (stadii?) just doesnt make sense. Every second year you look at a fixture list and have no idea where the game is being played.As far as the AFL goes, I just follow the ABC and use a non-commercial name for all grounds. Dockands is Docklands, not Colonial (that one worked so well Colonial didn't even exist any more while the stadium name was still being used)/Telstra/Etihad; Subiaco is Subiaco; Football Park is Football Park; Marara is in Darwin; York Park is on the swamp in Invermay. Year after year, I know where these are. Sydney play the occasional game at Homebush, or Stadium Australia, or the Olympic stradium; but never at whatever its called now. I can understand with some companies that its a way to get their name known, but for those who are already household names I don't see the purpose of such sponsorship.
Rob McLean
Guest
Footy Park, not bloody AAMI Stadium!
Mona
Guest
I agree. I've always found it a bit strange that people, especially in Brisbane especially around big games (i.e Origin, Finals or just big regular seasons matches), still refer to Suncorp as Lang Park. They either call it Lang Park outright, or add on that it USED to be Lang Park. I dunno, to me it says that the name Lang Park is really important to Brisbane sports fans (or at least rugby league fans) and that's just what it will always be no matter what logo is on the outside.
Rodney
Guest
why do companies bother leasing naming rights for stadiums? i hate it ... and does it even work? Shark Park will always be Shark Park and it's had more names than INXS have had lead singers ... all the truly good stadiums of the world only ever have had one name - Twickenham, Wembly, Ellis Park, Landsdown Road etc ... wtf is Telstra/ANZ Stadium ... ?
Brett McKay
Guest
yes from me, Austadium. Anyone (players included) who's been to Canberra Stadium between 1 June and 15 August - especially at night - would wholeheartedly agree with you..
Roarchild
Roar Guru
"Whilst Hound security guards are happy to turn a blind eye to more harmless activities such as beer snakes, player baiting and streaking they come down hard on the real atrocities of beer knocking over, sombrero wearing and status updating." :)
Monkey Tamer
Guest
The perfect Stadium? One where food and drinks don't cost as much as the actual ticket, haha. No really, so many stadiums would love to see. Personally don't care much for those small, feel good, friendly stadiums. I want massive stadii where you feel just a tiny blip in a sea of people, state of the art facilities, massive replay screens, variety of food options etc. ALA new Dallas Cowboys Stadium.
Maggpie Man
Guest
Ahhh - tailgate parties. Turns an afternoon at the footy into a whole day event! Sounds like my kind of place.