Finally after fifteen years of teasing oriental footy fans, Canberra’s “Green Machine” is preparing to march into the People’s Republic of China next year. And not a moment too soon.
In a country of 1.3 billion people I’m guessing it takes a lot to make a headline, but surely the sight of Josh ‘Tatts’ Dugan and Jarrod ‘The Frog’ Croker carving up the opposition will see as much excitement as any animal-themed New Year celebration.
Mind you, should a bunch of blokes who are quite capable of causing an international incident at Dubbo Zoo really be our ambassadors to the world’s next superpower? And more importantly, won’t the locals be confused when the long trumpeted appearance of the great Laurie Daley doesn’t materialise?
For those who don’t understand that last reference, let’s take a trip back into the dark recess of rugby league history. Let’s mention the war.
During the Super League dark ages a lot of stupid things were said. Mal Meninga, a league immortal who would be flogging strawberries if it wasn’t for footy, asked a packed Cronulla League Club auditorium “What’s rugby league ever done for me?”
A pony-tailed bloke exclaimed “Yes, yes, they look lovely!” to the Super League jerseys with the arrows pointing towards the players’ genitals.
Most famous of all, though, were the comments made by Super League CEO John Ribot, to the effect that the breakaway competition will see, “Players like Laurie Daley recognised in China.”
Wow. Not even Wayne Bartrim bought that one.
Now don’t get me wrong, wanting to expand one’s sport is a noble endeavour. I’ve never really understood footy fans that are anti-expansion. When these people see a movie they love, do they not recommend it to others, just in case their friends think it sucks and instead point them in the direction of the latest Adam Sandler monstrosity?
Personally I’d love to be backpacking through Nepal one day only to find players from the Kathmandu Cobras and the Pokhara Pirates going the grapple tackle and arguing about obstruction laws.
Sports development is mostly a grassroots exercise though, and dumping a truckload of cash into an untried foreign market and expecting a great leap forward is really akin to driving around in a limo throwing seeds out the window and expecting an orchard to grow.
The Raiders’ proposed game is admittedly a different kettle of fisherman’s friend, more of a tie-in with their new sponsor than a development tool (expect to see Cronulla players sucking back on menthol lollies on a prawn trawler any day now).
Similar to the AFL game in China the other year, they’ll bus in a bunch of bewildered school kids and factory workers to the game, get their ugliest player to dress up in a traditional costume for a laugh, then launch a ‘Hail Mary’ bomb for expansion into the stands.
Sure it’s probably against the odds that some local kid will catch the ball, run with the thing and score a try under the black dot for the code, but it’s nice to see the game finally making some ground on the wild predictions of yesteryear.
So as crackers as the idea may seem, I say good on the Raiders for trying something different
After all, it has to beat throwing rocks at the lions at Dubbo Zoo for the umpteenth time.
You can follow Chris on Twitter: @Vic_Arious
Jo
Guest
The biggest difference between the AFL and NRL's games in China is that the AFL believe that they could take their game to China and the masses would be converted and start filling a million seat stadium for an AFL chinese franchise.. A lorf I know.. But the Raiders are set apart because Huawei INVITED them to China. This isn't something the NRL is pushing for but rather the Chinese are pushing for.. Thats why it will be successful.
Chris Chard
Expert
Hi Everyone Just to clear up the Dubbo Zoo comments (cool story bro alert) In a book "League of their own Vol 2" there is a story about a couple of Raiders players going for a walk at Dubbo Zoo and coming across this magnificent lion laying in the sun. For some unknown reason Steve Walters has picked up a rock and thrown it at the lion which has hit the king of the jungle right between the eyes. Anyway, the lion has started prowling towards them and all the players have turned to bolt, except for Paul Osborne. "Ozzie you goose, hurry up, that thing's going to eat you alive!" They scream "Why should I run?" countered Ozzie. "I didn't throw it" And yes, that was the man who made it into parliament and was CEO of Parramatta. True story.
Dubble Bubble
Guest
Did the Raiders get in trouble at Dubbo Zoo, or have I misunderstood something?
allblackfan
Guest
and apparently Malcolm Naden at one stage although I suspect the wild animals eventually asked him to leave; they were scared of him!!
bozo
Guest
Cameron, don't you know that there are a lot of people who live in China, so if only half the proportion of the Australian population who support NRL were to support the NRL in China, the game will be huge and they will be able to play in the next League World Cup. I am sure that Murdoch had that on his mind when he made his most recent marriage. Don't worry about SuperLeague.
David Heidelberg
Guest
There are no Lions at the Dubbo zoo, just tigers and leopards.
p.Tah
Guest
When I lived there I said I was from Australia. They asked if that was in Texas. No that's Austin I said. Perhaps it was my accent.
Cameron
Guest
Canberra and whoever the hell they are playing in China have got not one iota of hope of ever making RL even remotely popular there no matter how many games they play or how much money the NRL ploughs into it. It is a flawed venture, a complete waste of time and money, its only outcome will be the resentful players it creates by forcing them to play this meaningless game when they could be on holidays on some tropical island. There you go slickwilly... satisfied now?
clipper
Guest
Yes, the Mal Meninga foray into politics never fails to elicit a laugh!
Cameron
Guest
This is quite true. When an Australian friend of mine said to a group of Americans when she was travelling over there that she was from Melbourne, they replied "oh sorry we only know your major cities".
slickwilly
Guest
hmmmmm.... sooooo... will we see those anti-afl posters who ridiculed the afl exhibition game on this website make similar comments about this venture - one suspects not
Brett McKay
Expert
Chris, any word on whether the Chinese like green milk??
Ken
Guest
Most of the little 3g modems for Optus (and I think most of the other networks) are made by Huawei and probably plenty of other networking equipment already in use around the country. They are one of the biggest hardware manufacturers for mobile networks in the world so it's not that big of a surprise. I don't think anyone was claiming that they are 'virtually another arm of Chinese Intelligence'. ASIO recommended they be excluded since they can't guarantee their independence from the Chinese government and the upcoming dependence on the hideously expensive NBN as the backbone of Australia's communication network would make them too high risk.
Jaceman
Guest
The Brumbies knocked it back after advice from govt officials - not sure why the Raiders didnt...
Patrick Angel
Roar Guru
Pleas pronounce it correctly, it's Mell-Born.
Will Sinclair
Guest
Most people in New York wouldn't have even heard of MELBOURNE, let alone the Melbourne Storm.
Will Sinclair
Guest
Crosscoder... I'm not even going to ask how you know that!
Crosscoder
Roar Guru
Perhaps Chris,the Yankees will go bonkers over Cronkers. Hell the Yanks are now giving us lingerie football,what next?
Chris Chard
Expert
Oh yeh, and just for anyone interested in this sort of thing word is that the Melbourne Storm will play the US Tomahawks in NY at the end of the season. Forget about Linsanity and Tebow time, wait untill Manhattan gets a look at .....Cameron Smith. CC
Crosscoder
Roar Guru
To be pedantic Wlll,it was on A Current Affair,the last word in that title being rather ironic.