In the bloody aftermath of James Graham’s grand final biting incident, the Canterbury Bulldogs are reportedly reconsidering their controversial ‘dickheads only’ recruitment policy.
The Bulldogs’ policy to only buy players with deep-seated psychological issues was established back in the early 1990s.
It is best described as the antithesis of the Sydney Swans’ famous “no dickheads” recruitment policy, fostered under then-coach Paul Roos and skipper Brett Kirk, which helped deliver Sydney to successive grand final appearances in 2005 and 2006.
But while the Sydney Swans’ strong club culture has born fruit in the form of AFL premierships, nationwide adulation and a rising membership base, the Bulldogs’ controversial recruitment policy has led to assorted allegations, biting incidents and general misogyny – all in all, a poor return on investment.
Following Sunday night’s 14-4 loss to the Melbourne Storm, the Bulldogs team indulged in boozy Mad Monday celebrations during which some players are alleged to have “hurled sexist slurs at female reporters” before urinating on Belmore Sports Ground in front of the media.
A Bulldogs official wearily told The Roar that it was probably time to consider a new tactic in regards to recruiting.
“We thought that to be a successful football club you need to have a bit of mongrel about you, but I now realise that urinating and biting are actually the literal acts of a ‘mongrel’ … hardly befitting of an elite organisation,” he said.
“Shit, we’ve probably got to stop recruiting dickheads, eh?”
But this change in club culture may not take effect for some time. The Roar understands that the Bulldogs only have enough room under the salary cap next year to recruit one player that isn’t a dickhead.
Any resemblance of this article to reality is purely coincidental.
Dave
Guest
Dave E, regarding your comment of 5 October, you are correct I do need to lighten up, but then again you need to harden up. You have accused me of trolling because you do not like my comments regarding your writing ability but you feel perfectly comfortable mocking others. Your responses to comments which disagree with the view of the 'satire' you have produced was to offer insult, implying stupidity, being a low life etc... Outside of that you blame others, all I can say is the editor subbies of The Roar can only work with what they are given. Critism is not trolling, it is part of writing. I speak from experience. As far as your concern regarding the Michael Richards call, I please enlighten me as to how that crossed the line compared to the comments you have directed at others.
Dave Edwards
Roar Pro
Exactly.
Dave Edwards
Roar Pro
Lighten up mate - and spend less time trolling online. Geez, if you're going to have such a long-winded crack at me about grammar, then at least spell 'grammar' correctly. I also don't really appreciate the reference to Michael Richards. FYI, the editing error was made by The Roar subbies - but that's neither here nor there.
Tim Coghlan
Roar Rookie
Hmm yeah Barry Hall great example of swans no dickheads policy.
Dave
Guest
Oh dear David, once again proving that for some one who claims to be the Chief Editor of a website specializing in sports satire you are neither funny or capable of editing. More importantly let us consider that if, as you put forward, I spend a lot of time at Centrelink, your grammer is still so poor I needed to correct you. I would suggest that as a satirist and an editor you lack the skills to pay the bills. You will probably be part of the que before I am. Once again a couple of suggestions: A: Start proof reading. If you already engage in this activity give up writing as you clearly have a mastery of the English language which is put to shame by an average piece of granite from French speaking country. B: Give up attempting to be funny as once again you are quite poor at it. Your best responses to people saying your article is trash are puerile. I haven't witnessed someone attempting to be funny fail so badly since Michael Richards.
mushi
Roar Guru
Is that how you got the article written so quickly?
Rube
Guest
Is it once a dickhead......always a dickhead? I'd be chuffed if James Graham came to the Knights; if anyone deserves to be bitten its Billy "Knees in first" Slater, he's one of the biggest grubs out there!
Dave Edwards
Roar Pro
Slow day outside Centrelink mate?
Dave
Guest
Wow got pulled for pointing out the poor use of the English language by Dave Edwards after he was so willing to mock tigerrs' spelling. A touch hypocritical don't you think. By the way David Edwards and The Roar I do believe the words you are looking for are: A: thank you Dave (not to be confused with Dave Edwards) for pointing out my poor grammer; and B: Dave (again not to be confused with Dave Edwards) you are right I shouldn't try to mock people based upon their spelling instead of addressing their point.
yewonk
Guest
THAT SUMS IT pOT STIRRER
Steve
Guest
I'm not sure if that's the funniest or most horrifying thing I've read all week. Probably both!
Dave Edwards
Roar Pro
Biting is football? Sheesh, glad I never lined up against you.
Dave Edwards
Roar Pro
You're right, the 'artical' is rubbish...
Pot Stirrer
Guest
Not only have the bulldogs undone what they have achieved in turning around thier image after coffs harbour they have dragged down the NRL along with them.
tigerrer
Guest
this artical is rubbish . bulldogs have changed there image to a family club by recruting not just on talent but also character. pure rot and im a tigers supporter so no bias here
turbodewd
Guest
Lets get J. Graham in a room with J. Monaghan and see what happens???
Josh
Guest
Biting was horrible - but its football Drunk young men having a piss near a fence - Who cares Abusing the reporters from inside a window while drunk - Not great but honestly who who cares - Perhaps the issue is that the club let the media attend a mad monday celebration that was deliberatly held behind closed doors - from a administration team who are usually called brilliant this was a dumb move As for thier dickheads recruitment policy- at least it keeps them away from my club
Will Sinclair
Guest
If the Bulldogs change their recruitment policy, who will all the dickheads support?
rl
Guest
In that case, Quade Cooper should be a bargain!
Dave Edwards
Roar Pro
I don't think players will always do stupid things. Depends on whether the player is a dickhead or not. I n the end I think 'dickheads' are just cheaper for clubs to buy - which is probably why Willie Mason got picked up by the Knights for $40k.