Dear Santa,
My name is Quade, you might of heard about me, I used to play for the Wallabies but now I just hang out a bit and do stuff.
Anyway I just thought I’d write to you to see if you can help out with a few things, my man Khoder is usually the man who does that stuff for me, but your still the main man I reckon.
I know you can do it Santa, ‘cos you did it for my best friend Sonny Bill, he gets all the good stuff, I know you got some there for me too Santa. Sonny Bill is so cool Santa, not cool like your at the North Pole sort of cool, but cool like he’s the man, that sort of cool.
I hope I’m not confusing you Santa, like you’re really the man, but you know that Sonny Bill is the man, just like my man Khoder is the man, and my other brother, The Man, he’s really the man.
But you need to pull your finger out Santa, last year you let me down, you know how I copped all that crap in New Zealand and I asked you to fix all that up, I didn’t mean by copping it in Australia instead.
By the way thanks for that pie you sent me. Except I like “Steak and Onion”. This one had “Humble” on the wrapper. Don’t think I can eat that.
I better tell you what I want, ok?
A guy to fight. Not just any guy, he has to be over 50, asthmatic, from the Fukawi tribe. Or else, a Chartered Accountant with coke bottle glasses, with a broken arse.
That shouldn’t be too hard Santa, you already done that for The Man plenty of times.
A new punching bag to practice on. That bag you sent me last year, the one with Richie McCaw on it, it’s no good. I can’t get it to stay in position, it keeps coming over my side all the time.
You better send Robbie some stuff too. He’s not really my mate, he’s not the man, but hey it’s Xmas, it’s time to be nice to people. Send him that new DVD compilation “Great Wallabies tries of 2012”. It only runs for 1 minute 35. He’s a busy guy, he can watch it then get on with enjoying a nice environment.
Can you send my man Will G some magic “get well soon” dust? I’ll be straight with you Santa, all that sh*t about not playing for the Wallabies ‘cos it was a toxic environment and all that stuff? It’s really ‘cos I ain’t going anywhere near a rugby field if I have to play outside that Phipps dude.
Actually send him a barn door while your at it.
Don’t bother sending me a book again Santa, that one last year was sh*t. “How to win friends and influence people?” You should no me better than that by now.
One more request Santa. You know how the ARU gave all my money to that Israel dude? Like what’s going on there? Those Jewish guys get all the favours.
Anyhow, the best present you can get me is my contract with a signature on it. The Reds need me Santa. The Wallabies need me. Rugby needs me. Be the man Santa.
Thanks Santa,
Quade
AndyS
Guest
Larkham did indeed look after himself, but Doug's original point was that you can do that while maintaining some dignity. Larkham left, but without subjecting the team to an ongoing song and dance number about heading to Japan unless someone paid him what he was entitled to in order to stay. He just made what he considered the best decision for all concerned and quietly got on with it. If only he had known how a professional sportsman was supposed to behave... ;)
itsuckstobeyou
Roar Pro
I had a good chuckle at the laptop. Well done!
katzilla
Roar Guru
http://www.portablenorthpole.com/watch/gPzXXu3ES6BEYGmzvF4bD1A/p Santa's official reply............
mania
Guest
sorry johnno, the point being made was " remember when the jersey & representing your country was more important then yourself?" not choosing money over the jerset. so in this case these aforementioned players easily put the team ahead of themslves. ps - carlHayman retired from test rugby as the best in the world. he bled for the jersey and was an awesome soldier. he was on the other side of the world having retired from the AB's 3 years prior. SBW - whilst in the jersey showed it the respect it .deserved. not sure why your bringing up the others
Johnno
Guest
My point is mania they took the money, Andy S point and your point about the AB jersey meaning more than money long term, is not totally true as the players took big deal overseas, earning more than staying with the AB'S. So loyalty is clearly not undivided.
Hopperdoggy
Guest
Is this what "owning the reality" Deans means Dad?
mania
Guest
sorry johnno, not understanding what needs to be explained. Carl Hayman,SBW, and Jerome Kaino, and Steve Donald have shown the utmost respect for the jersey and in their time when they were custodians of those jerseys were hnourable soldiers. when they held the jerseys they were the epitome of team players. whats your point?
To be fair Johnno, the few does not make a case for the majority of All Blacks.
Johnno
Guest
Well if it does mean so much mania, explain these players decisions then, taking big money contracts, giving up the chance to play for the AB'S.
mania
Guest
i'm positive johnno. the black jersey definately means more to the kiwi players than the green and gold does to the 3 amigos
Johnno
Guest
Are you sure about that mania. Yes mania tell that to Carl Hayman,SBW, and Jerome Kaino, and Steve Donald.
Hopperdoggy
Guest
Santa's not real? "Daddie!"
mania
Guest
doug - Does anyone remember when the jersey & representing your country was more important then yourself? - yeah its called playing for the All Blacks
Johnno
Guest
Andys Steve Larkham had a lucrative stint in Japan when he could of had 1 more season even 2 seasons in OZ. And loved your analogy of how to grow a brand was top notch they could of made more money had they followed your tips.
AndyS
Guest
...and all wihout making noises about going to League, heading to Europe, taking up some other sport, making public comments bagging the team or individuals, or going out on the piss and getting into very public trouble. What idiots, not having a clue about how to negotiate a contract or create a brand for themselves!
Johnno
Guest
Crazy Horse i'm sure your going to get packed stadiums, of fans wanting to watch an inferior product , not. And while there are good amateur rugby players , the majority of them crazy horse are only amateur coz there not good enough to be pro.
Crazy Horse
Guest
If money and Brand X are more important that respect for the jersey and the honour of wearing it we need to revert to amateurs for the Wallabies et al and let the professionals have their own teams. It is a fact that there are many good players in the clubs who do not want to be full time Rugby players. -- Comment left via The Roar's iPhone app. Download it now [http://itunes.apple.com/au/app/the-roar/id327174726?mt=8].
Johnno
Guest
Doug ,John Eales and Steve Larkham both played most of there rugby during the professional era there no different to "the brand Quade", so were getting paid good money for what they were doing. And I'm sure when they signed contracts they were doing what was financially best for them.
Doug
Guest
Does anyone remember when the jersey & representing your country was more important then yourself? When John Eales or Stephen Larkham lifted rugbys titles I don't recall them putting themselves before the team. I don't buy 'he has to look after himself' rubbish. You can do that while still showing some dignity & humility- virtues that Cooper seems to lack.
Brett McKay
Expert
Well played all, this as been most enjoyable.. lol: