‘The Melbourne Football Club must fold.’ ‘The Melbourne Football Club must relocate to Tasmania.’
‘The Melbourne Football Club should withdraw from the 2013 season.’
These theories and more were being bandied around social media on Saturday night after the Demons’ second humiliation in as many matches, this time at the hands of Essendon.
None of them have a remote chance of happenning, but the fact they’re even being offered up as serious solutions tells us the depths to which this shambolic club has plummeted.
It’s rare to write about the same team twice in a row for a weekly column, but right now the Demons (clearly the most ironic team nickname in the AFL) are the only story.
Last week I, and the rest of the football world, castigated the lack of effort from this sorry collection of players. We were promised a performance with more heart and desire this round.
The saddest part of all was that we actually got it for a period of time.
The stark reality laid bare for all to see is how far off the pace Melbourne is from the rest of the competition. In two matches, they have an average losing margin of 113 points, and this against 11th and 14th from last year!
God help them when they start to play the better sides.
War comparisons are always trite, but in the post-match press conference, coach Mark Neeld carried with him the haunted look of an army commander who’d let his troops into a bloody massacre, and lost them all.
Jack Grimes was interviewed in the funereal rooms and was a broken, empty shell of a man, completely bereft of any life force. What a joyless existence he must be currently leading.
Right now, based on all available evidence, it is inconceivable this team will beat GWS at the MCG in round 4. Comparisons with Fitzroy are being thrown around, and not unduly. We’re watching a professional football club rot away before our very eyes.
The recent past has been a waking nightmare. The present is pitiful. The future is bleak and grim.
So, is there a way out for this once proud football club? Is there a light at the end of the tunnel that isn’t just an oncoming train? What can be done?
When searching for positives, there are some diamonds in the deep rough that is the playing list.
Nathan Jones is a proud warrior whose reputation has grown under Mark Neeld. Mitch Clark has been a revelation since crossing from Brisbane. Jack Viney reminds us of a first year Joel Selwood.
Jeremy Howe brings what flair, excitement and genuine talent he can to a list that has precious little of all three.
These four stand out like beacons among the most bland, vanilla playing group in the AFL.
The three Jacks – Grimes, Trengove and Watts – are nice guys who unfortunately play nice football. But they are obviously young men of sound character, each talented in their own way and deserve to be part of the future.
Perhaps if drafted into better cultures, and in the case of the former two had avoided injuries, they’d already been seen as bona fide guns of the competition.
While on the point, it’s easy to write off the litany of high draft pick failures as poor selections, but I’m certain the problem lies with an inability to develop these picks.
This would largely be due to a lack of leaders who know the appropriate standard and intensity on both the training track and playing field.
Sam Blease has got something to suggest he can play good football at the highest level, maybe. No doubt Jimmy Toumpas does too, but that poor kid must spend his nights wondering what sins he’s committed to deserve being drafted into such a train wreck.
James Frawley has always been a touch overrated, and was awarded a misplaced ‘futures’ All-Australian spot in 2010.
This isn’t to say he isn’t a quality footballer. He is, and can be a very good second or third tall backman with neat disposal and good decision making when confident.
Chris Dawes may do a Mitch Clark and prove his detractors wrong if he can ever get on the park, although few will be putting their house on it.
What a fall from being a premiership centre-half forward only two and a half years ago.
These dozen or so players, and maybe some hidden gems we haven’t seen any of, if there are any, should be the only footballers still at the club in 2015. You can’t cut 30 players after a season, as much as the coaching staff might like to.
Colin Sylvia is symbolic of everything wrong with this football club, and it’s hard to believe Lynden Dunn is still on the list, let alone deemed worthy of a game.
It would be easy enough to tear strips off the rest of the playing group, but there is one decision made in recent times that particularly irks.
Mark Jamar was a fine player in his time, albeit equally unworthy of his place in the same All-Australian side as Frawley, and hopefully the selectors from that year are embarrassed to see him in there when they look back.
But even worse than that was the Melbourne hierarchy offering him a three year deal midway through last year.
He’s a 29 year-old beyond improvement, losing form, and who has only twice played more than 15 matches in a season. It stands in my mind as the most mind-boggling contract extension of the century.
A new coach taking over a bottom side gets a grace period where it’s okay to subtlety push blame for any culture problems, game-plan issues and skill levels to the previous coaching panel. Phrases like ‘taking time to adjust to the game-plan’, ‘turning over the list’, and ‘not fit enough’ are common-place.
Mark Neeld can not blame Dean Bailey for the Mark Jamar decision.
He must also wear the criticism for bringing in players like Cameron Pederson and David Rodan, neither of whom could get a regular game in average teams like North Melbourne and Port Power. Both were dropped after round one.
Tom Gillies and Shannon Byrnes played a combined 17 games over the last three seasons down at Geelong, and it is worth nothing the Cats finished seventh last year, not in the very upper echelons of the ladder.
These two must be bringing the most amazing off-field leadership skills, because they haven’t shown much on it, where supporters can actually judge their impact.
Senior coaches who bring in recycled players that don’t work get sacked, pure and simple. This injection of players will be and already has been spectacular in its failure. There is no way this ends well for Neeld.
Whether he’s the right man for the job or not is still unknown, but it seems unlikely with this group of players. The situation is too far gone.
Almost from minute one, rumours of him ‘losing the players’ have plagued his tenure. That said, I’m not sure this is a bad thing, as the tail has wagged the dog for too long at his place of employment.
A Melbourne fan weeps (Photo: Michael Willson/AFL Media)
Two highly regarded football men brought in to support Neeld at the start of his contract also need to come under serious fire.
Neil Craig was a sports science guru before it was popular, widely credited with playing a huge role in Adelaide’s 1997-98 premierships.
He was also one of the most respected senior coaches in the league when at the helm of the Crows, with a playing group that loved him.
Dave Misson, second only to Dean ‘The Weapon’ Robinson as a fitness man with a profile among football fans, was an apparently integral part of successful Sydney and St Kilda’s sides that contended for premierships.
Craig was brought in as senior assistant coach and mentor. Misson fulfils the role as the Melbourne Football Club Elite Performance Manager. There’s a job description that’s equal parts hilarious and oxymoronic.
Despite the glowing credentials of these two men, based on what we’ve seen in the first two rounds, the fitness level of the Demon players is so far below the required AFL standard it’s impossible to believe.
Time after time after time after time, Port and Essendon players were roaming free across the MCG, as dinosaurs once did the earth.
At one stage on Saturday night, the Bombers won a centre break and kicked a long ball straight inside 50 where two free men had time to decide which would mark it. At another, there were four loose Dons players in their own goal-square as Stewart Crameri waltzed into an open goal.
Last week, Port regularly had two, three, four and five men free in the middle of the ground as they transitioned the ball with the greatest of ease, and we saw more of the same on Saturday night.
Can this all purely be lack of desire, focus and will power? Surely it can’t. Surely.
The Melbourne Football Club CEO Cameron Schwab has had the critics knocking his door down, and for good reason.
An association with failure is his legacy as a football administrator of many years in different environments. Surely this is no coincidence.
Yet, despite being effectively sacked two years ago, he magically remains.
Friends in high places, perhaps? For that, read Garry Lyon, Jim Stynes and Don McLardy – none of whom have been able to rid this football club of the diseased culture within.
There is no easy solution to the problems that are now so deeply entrenched in the Melbourne Football Club.
The case could be made that there’s not a single person currently involved in the club that is the right fit for their position, and you’d find two dozen better candidates throughout the league for each one.
There is not a single person who has all the answers to these problems. I doubt there’s anyone who has half of them.
But Melbourne needs an injection of fresh blood from somewhere. Someone dynamic in a way that no-one else at the club is. I doubt God himself would take on the task.
Michael Clayton
Guest
Johnnb I beg to differ with you. Have you heard of Feng Sui ... When the basic structure is not right the energy flow does not go with you. I can tell you what team will win each week by the numbers of the players and their positions on the field.
johnb747b
Guest
Sorry Michael but player talent is definitely part of the equation. The onfield 'confusion' I've seen too often can't be blamed on the administration and coaches, notwithstanding their obvious flaws. Someone needs to grab the Ds club in a squirrel hold and do what has to be done. You might be just the man for the nob, Michael. Put in your CV. Any other volunteers out there? Second call... Any volunteers? Third & last call for volunteers.....' 'Anyone interested should see me afterward and we'll talk'. The Ds did themselves no good by 'tanking'. That was only part of the problem but it said much about the club culture. I'm not a Ds fan (CATS!) but I don't wish to witness their demise. Maybe a few injections of snake oil? I can envisage fans saying to supporters of teams scheduled to play the Ds: 'Oh, you've got the bye this weekend'.
Michael Clayton
Guest
Hello Jonnb All The Demons problem is not a player talent problem, unfortunately players are just scape goats. The problem comes from the top down. It's a game plan and administrative coaching training problem that is overburdening and confusing the players. The people at the top are not listening. Appoint me CEO or coach and I would have this problem fixed before the end of this season.
johnb747b
Guest
Our elder son was club captain of the Boston Demons footy club which plays in the US competition. The Boston Ds play in Melbourne colours and have a loose relationship with them. Per the rule only 50% of the players can be Aussies. They train and play on eccentric grounds. Their standard of play could best be described as 'enthusiastic amateur'. And they have more infinitely club spirit and camaraderie than the Melbourne Ds. Unlike Melbourne they try their little hearts out every game. As an aside, the Boston Ds were once described as 'possibly the most intelligent football team in the world'. Postgrad Harvard, MIT etc students; MBA students; PhD candidates; accountants, lawyers and teachers. The Ds should offer Roos a blank cheque but he would never sign it. Who would want to be handed a poisoned chalice? The Ds will have an interesting for and against tally at the end of the season.
Michael Clayton
Guest
Whenever you have a major problem whether a sports club or any other area of life,someone has the answer. The board of the Melbourne Football club have no answers and are not listening to fans. 30,000 heads are better those few sitting around a table at MFC headquarters.. The new CEO should start lining up fans and listening to them. Then choose a new board capable of carrying out the chosen plan. I have sent email, telephoned, sent letters, sent registered letters requesting to be heard. All remain unanswered. I have a drop dead easy to implement plan to get fans behind the Melbourne Football Club and revive THE DEMONS SPIRIT. Without making too many changes we could totally set the club on a spiral to success. But NO-ONE ate MFC wants to listen. I could publish the plan, but then any club could hijack it and use it against us. Sun Tzu set the tactics I would use hundreds of year ago.
BonitaGardiner
Guest
How sad to see my great club Melbourne, disintigrate to the low level it is now. As a 60 year supporter and actually saw the 1964 premiership I am at a loss to see how quickly my club has sunk to a level unheard of. I see the culture of the club is still in the 50,s and 60,s and must put into place a CEO and Coach who can inspire and motivate its players and members. Well paid players must be motivated and coached to put on a real effort on the field. The recruitment of many players has been poor and young players have not been taught skills needed in current day football. End the emotion Melbourne has been living on for the past years,and put in place if necessary an administrator if this is needed renew the Grand Old Flag.
johnb747b
Guest
The malaise runs right through the club. If ever a club needed a 'kick ass' senior administrator, it is Melbourne. The likes of John Quayle in earlier rugby league times come to mind. Some of these well-paid but underperforming players need to be told to get their act together or else. If there are indeed player factions, they need to be reminded where their pay cheques come from. 'Shape up or ship out'. Sack the coach? Who'd want the job? It would be like climbing willingly onto a tumbril bound for the guillotine. Switkowski reports this weekend. Will AFL have a second basket case to contend with?
Nonrev
Guest
It was interesting to watch Rivers in his first up game with Geelong when they beat Hawthorn (again). He started off looking a little lost, then all of a sudden, he started feeding off his teammates. It was if a light bulb had gone on - so this is what it is all about. He ended up playing a good game, even though he was injured. He had a crack. Make no mistake, Melbourne players will make their mark, if only they can be freed from the mediocrity of the Board, the Administration, the Coaching staff, and past players who do not know how to win premierships. Jack Watts was right, they lack leadership. No wonder he has grown a beard.
Cameron Rose
Expert
Yeah, I've heard similar stuff Adam, and what you've said there aligns with some of my own theories. When the players laid down against the Cats, it was against the administration, yet the coach copped it in the neck - not their intended target. Simply put, the tail has wagged the dog for too long at that club. Rarely has a club seen a more selfish, unprofessional group of players.
TW
Guest
Yeah you are obviously focused on the Melbourne footy club - But there is another world out there in our game - As a interstate club supporter I do not have any empathy at all with your current situation. Just wait until the next TV agreement or perhaps the one after that and we may see less Melbourne clubs.
Bayman
Guest
Arthur, It's possible - but not likely. I do recall a team, I think North Melbourne, a few years ago which twice lost by over 100 points and won the next week. I'm not sure Melbourne is capable of that. In fact, I am sure - they are not! As for AFL vs RL, I suspect the real difference is that RL is essentially a more defensive game. Smaller grounds (though less players), teams essentially facing each other all day, ball must be passed backwards and an off-side rule. AFL does not have this rule and it is important to the way the game is played. Having followed Aussie Rules all my life (since the late1950s), and having lived in Sydney for 27 years (now just returned to Adelaide), I always felt RL generally provided more strange results than AFL. In AFL, typically, the best team wins - based, presumably on having the better talent without much in the way of attacking restrictions. In RL, as you pointed out, it's not uncommon for a team to be flogged one week and win the next. The good teams still win more often but they're also much more likely to lose unexpectedly than in the AFL. I think there are more blowouts in the AFL but that's probably more to do with having more talent without RLs ability to have a side simply defend, defend, defend to limit the damage.
Adam Reynolds
Guest
I have been involved in football for more than 40 years both as a premiership player and a premiership coach in a Victorian country league. I am also a Melbourne supporter. I think I know quite a bit about footy. The issues at Melbourne stem from a lack of player respect for those that run the club. It follows the moving on of McDonald, Green, Moloney, Rivers et al. The team "laid down" during the Geelong thrashing in 2011 to vent their disappointment with the interference of the administration into the football department - and the coach allowing it - and their point was made - at least temporarily. There are several player factions at the club: (a) The "older" players, (b) the "give it all you've got every week" players, (c) the rookies and (d) the "not aligned to any faction" group. The dominant group is (a). They have taken offence to Neelds tough approach and the interference of the administrators whom they blame for the moving on of the players in para 1. They exert great influence over group (c) and clash with group (b) whom they believe should also "lie down" in support. Schwab was the key figure in all of this and his resignation follows closed door (heated) discussion between group (a) players and the administration. However, I believe that there is another person group (a) wants removed. That shouldn't happen. These "older" players have effectively held the club to ransom. My solution would be to ensure that none of them ever played a senior game again, in fact, I would go further and suspend them from the club until their contracts expire. Trust my judgement, Melbourne does have the players to be an effective team. Sure, they lack a Swan/Ablett/Watson/Judd type but can be competitive. To make an AFL list a player must have identified skills. Once we get below the top echelon, players are pretty much similar ability wise. Coaching, culture and mateship bonds those players into a team. Mark Neeld can coach. Melbourne can play good football. If my assessment of the situation is correct, Melbourne should seek the sanction of the AFL to replace those bringing the team down with rookies and start again. Footy is a team game. At the moment some of those in the "team" are not playing with that spirit. Get rid of them and improvement will be almost immediate.
Arthur Fonzarelli
Guest
Not only that - the previous 50-0 winners got beat by the team on the bottom of the ladder.
Cameron Rose
Expert
I wan't saying that TW. Not sure the quotation marks were pronounced enough, but I was merely quoting some theories aired on Twitter over the weekend. I'm not sure the rest of what you're saying has much merit, but none of it is my area of expertise.
Cameron Rose
Expert
Some excellent stuff there Fieldy. No silver bullet, exactly. Every person involved at that club to blame in some way, whether big or small. Sheeds is a no-go, but someone in the mould of Bomber, Lyon, Buckley, Chris Scott, Malthouse for sure.
TW
Guest
The author of this article said that the Demons should relocate to Tasmania. Nah that is no good -The Hawks and the Kangas have that area staked out now. Too late for the Demons. However there is another area sometime in the future for an AFL team -Wellington New Zealand. Which leads us into the upcoming AFL Anzac Day Clash in Wellington. The promos for this match are in full swing with a NZ media pack visiting the Saints training this week and interviewing Scotty Watters the coach who gave them a run down on the club. It appears that the above match will be broadcast into Aust and NZ and no word on ticket sales yet. ATM I think about 20,000 would be a good figure but it maybe less of course A couple of linked points to this game came up this week. 1/ The Wellington City Council to much local criticism have been unable to attract in the future any Rock Bands to the Westpac Venue - I am sure they will welcome the possibility of multipule AFL matches in one season to their fair city though if all goes well. 2/ There is a possibilty that the Rugby League match for April 16 in Canberra between Australia and New Zealand to celebrate Anzac Day will not be broadcast into NZ. There was a money dispute underway last I read. How Ironical. Finally my other club - GWS have now sold 11,519 memberships and they turned the sod on their Multicultural/ Training Centre at Olympic Park.
Floyd Calhoun
Guest
Fonz, interesting comparison between League 'floggings' & Aussie Rules 'thrashings'. Obviously the losing team in both cases, never stood a chance. But, in the case of the Roosters/Eels game, both teams had opposite fortunes the week following. The floggers got beaten, & the humiliated Eels won!! It barely raised an eyebrow in NRL press. From my time living in NRL territory, I'd estimate that Melbournes loss would be akin to a 72-0 result in league terms. 12 tries to nil & all converted since they were able to score the tries under the bar almost at will.
fieldy
Roar Rookie
I am a Dees fan from the late 1990's and have watched the ongoing, ugly demise of the club I love. No overnight solution will fix this problem but it seems the club is bereft of a "winning attitide". I heard mark Neeld announce his desire against the Bombers was to be "competitive". How that word can be then coached to a team and that team expected to win defies belief. There is no silver bullet here as the Board, Management and coaching staff are all to blame (each to some extent) The players are not blameless but guys like Nathan Jones and Jack Grimes are at least having a crack. However ultimately the board are accountable to steer the club in the right direction so McLardy must go. In terms of coaching - Mark Neeld was the assistant to perhaps one of the greatest coaches (and high performing team) and is not equipped to coach such a young team. This team needs a Sheedy or Bomber Thompson to begin the clean out It really pains me watching the team ATM. They can do better but are not being guided or motivated how to.
Arthur fonzarelli.
Guest
But in the NRL the team that got best 50-0 bounced back and beat a top 8 contender the following week . Could Melbourne roll a team say like Richmond at present ? Is it possible ?
Australian Rules
Guest
I think the difference in point-scoring is an obvious one. 6 point goals can be free-flowing in Aust Footy...a team can easily score 50 points in a quarter. Conversely, it's not unusual for an NRL team to go scoreless in a half...or even all game. So what's a bigger drubbing...AFL 185-63...or NRL 50-0..? As for the Giants & Suns, imagine the best 18y.o team playing in the NRL. They'd show flashes of brilliance but they'd get pummelled every week...espcially late in games.