There’s nothing quite like State of Origin for bringing out qualities in Queenslanders that are normally associated with the chronically insane.
Of course, the unhinged everyday behaviour of Queenslanders tends to tip them toward the insane side of the scale already, so you have to make certain allowances for them.
New South Wales understands this. Effectively, they have been ‘making allowances’ for Queensland for some time.
And by ‘some time’ I mean ‘since federation’. They are, according to several million reflective yellow number plates, the premier state, after all.
We live in fast times. Changes are rapid, often to the point of being vertigo-inducing. Certain things, though, can still be relied upon.
Militant veganism will always be annoying. Old people will always keep mints in their cars. A swinging pair of truck-nuts will always tell you everything about the vehicle’s driver you need to know.
And Queenslanders will always make inflammatory remarks in regards to New South Wales come this time of year.
The details of these remarks never matter. (The one exception here is Sam Thaiday’s comment about the buffet being the Maroons’ only source of concern last year, just because of the rich images of footballers doing great damage to bain-marie-based foodstuffs it evoked.)
It doesn’t matter, for example, that a generously proportioned tycoon insulted a rugby league great or that the rugby league great responded in a somewhat sensitive fashion, because basically the only useful point in all of this is that Queenslanders are liable to run their mouths and make arrogant comments and New South Wales folks are liable to take varying degrees of offence.
This is in keeping with the natural order of things, whereby, as it currently stands at least, the Blues are the oppressed and the Maroons are their oppressors.
The roles are interchangeable, at least in theory.
But Blues fans would do well to bear the brutal realities of this ‘natural order of things’ in mind and remember that when it comes to Queenslanders, gross quantities of impure liquor and generations of profound parochialism have rendered them genetically irregular and dangerously inclined to dish out casual insults pertaining to the Blues’ cultural bankruptcy and passionless souls. It’s an ugly thing, but no matter.
We live in ugly times.
Laurie Daley would also do well to remember this. Much has been made of his inherent ‘niceness’ in this Origin lead up. I’m sure he is a very nice man but there is no room for mercy or the milk of human kindness in Origin.
It is the puppy-stomping deviants who will rise to the top, like corks in clear water, or cream in milk. It’s like life, basically.
Daley says he is not nervous, but as a first time Origin coach he must inevitably be operating under conditions of severe personal stress.
When the Blues won Origin II in 2011 and Ricky Stuart delivered that Ryu-style volley of punches into his assistant coach’s ribcage you better believe those punches were powered by about a year’s worth of high-wire tension.
As small explosions of violence go, this one was very moving. It must have been a deeply cathartic moment for Ricky, but one that’s probably best left alone right now, because this is not the kind of talk you want to hear going in to Origin.
It’s not the kind of talk you want to hear anywhere outside the context of a rehab memoir, really.
As for Mal Meninga, well, sit tight. Doubtless something to do with NSW having two home games will inflame his righteous ire and set him off raving about rats and filth and the bugs under his skin.
In other words, early days. There is still time for more slander and insult. There is still time for Daley’s mad seagull eyes to dilate a few more millimetres.
And there is still plenty of time for Meninga to exhibit strange, paranoid behaviour, even though as anyone who has ever crawled around searching for hidden listening devices in the kitty litter – and who among us hasn’t – knows, there is no such thing as paranoia – particularly when it comes to Origin – because IT IS ALL TRUE.
Rachel
Guest
Too funny! "...a rehab memoir..."
BetterRedThanDead
Guest
I think you have just made her point. So well done!
Adam
Guest
Pointless article that begins by slandering Queensland because apparently, Queensland gives it out but can't take it back? Seems a bit hypocritcal. Nevertheless, This is clearly false, both states constantly talk shit, it's one of the things that makes origin, well origin. The intense rivalry and the constant banter is all part of what makes it great.. If you can't appreciate that then you shouldn't waste your time following origin let alone reporting on it.
solly
Guest
It's amusing to read people go on about an 'anti-Queensland' agenda. When you set yourself up as exceptional, you'd better be prepared to for a reaction. But when I think on it, I'm not exactly sure which is worse, an arrogant frog in a pond (NSW) or a genetically frustrated liver (Queensland).
Brad H
Guest
Elijah , my comments were far from serious , the smiley I put in did not show up. I am not the rabid supporter but appreciate talent no matter what team, my favorite player in the NRL would have to be Justin Hodges, he brings so much passion to the game and has such skill he is a pleasure to watch. I am hoping for a free flowing game with tries for both sides , oh and the occasional bit of biff. :-)
Elijah Weightman
Roar Guru
Quite a sly jab at us Queenslanders. Got ahead and laugh it up now, for the next few weeks will bring you little joy. We will have the last laugh.
Scott Minto
Guest
They have tissues or socks for that you know
Brad H.
Guest
As a NSW Lad who temporarily re-located to Ireland 18 tears ago !!! I do miss the "Friendly"(???) banter between states in the build up to the War. Let me say, this is one funny assed report. Kudos are due to you Eleanor for giving this Blue a good laugh and for bringing back all the memories of seeing the rotting cane toad carcasses on the Pacific Highway after the many floggings they received in the 80's and 90's. I will be watching live on Wednesday and heartily shouting at the TV "Get Em On Side Ref" , not one of Qld's best observed practices and also looking forward to reading the Thursday edition of the SMH to see the headline "Qld Gutted at Flogging by NSW" :v
Meesta Cool
Guest
I, I enjoyed the read and took no exception at the comments even though I am a pensioner and never carry mints in my car, but I can still be ridiculed However, mention the word 'gay and someone will get upset, bloody hell folks, how politically correct on some things can we get whilst we poke fun at others.. or could it be that Old people shouldn't be respected...
Matt
Guest
Basic probability (flip a coin, what's the outcomes), we covered pretty early as far as I can remember. In fact, I don't think we ever touched on it again at school. Apparently learning trigonometry every year is more important than covering a variety of topics. It wasn't anything to do with the maths really. - NSW will win! (apparently ;)) - Well odds are you'll be right someday...
mushi
Roar Guru
My apologies for the on the touch screen typo, given the lack of other references to grades I would have thought you’d have made the connection to grade 3... but if we are going to be that pedantic are you honestly saying that your schools system covered off probability and powers in curriculum aimed at the at the average 8 year old? Either way the point still remains that the probability of winning 8 in a row right under your scenario is 50% because we are only testing for one series win (also winning 7 in row from scratch is pretty clearly under 1% (1/128) ) I agree somewhat with your sentiment (eventually you will be right picking one side to win over another) I just think your rationale is miles off.
Chui
Guest
Sorry Tristan (and apologies to Len) It needed a better ending. With Banjos a twanging and hate in their eyeses Their necks getting redder as the blood pressure rises Vitriol flows from half of the roarers They take no prisoners, the Queensland supporters At the end of the day, even after we spank them We'll buy them a beer, and remember to thank them. For no matter what happens we grin ear to ear Cause we'll get to do it all again next year Go the Blues ;)
Matt
Guest
"if you aren't grade" - not sure what you meant to type there. Gee whiz. It was simply a reply to yet another "well we will win this year" comment. Saying "we'll win this year" 7 years in a row, and being wrong every time, is laughable. Yes, general probability says, you will eventually win something in which you have a chance of doing so. If they do win, I can see all the "I told you so, nsw rules, yada yada" comments already :)
Tristan Rayner
Editor
A nice ditty submitted in by Len Newey: It’s Origin time, just 2 days to go, That is when, you’ll see the blood flow These mighty blokes, will give it their all They’ll be plenty of tries, maybe even a brawl The blues and maroons, the best in the state As they battle each other, mate against mate The blues, will try hard, they’ve got nothing to lose But they’ll only end up, all battered and bruised So come on all you Queenslanders, get ready to cheer As you sit by the telly, drinking your beer The mighty maroons, will put the blues straight And win this great series, making it eight.... Go The Maroons, Make Us Proud !
Silver_Sovereign
Guest
that's right. They take our origin matches and can't even sell out their own in good time without resorting to discounts and free tickets
matt h
Guest
I for one cannot wait for the TomWaterhouse.Com More Joyous memorial State of Origin Series to commence. Expert commentary and internet betting instructions come free with the telecast I'm told.
Mushi
Guest
Umm if you aren't grade why keep peddling the low chances of eight in a row even though you "apparently" understand the prior results shouldn't influence a discrete eighth series?
BennO
Guest
You're right nick but it's the bloody blues I hate.
NickF
Guest
Guys, stop all this stats stuff. Just say "I hate Queensland" and be done with is.
Matt
Guest
Not exactly. You can calculate it off win/loss ratio if you want. No simple way to calculate probability in sport! Heck, before the storm lost 5 in a row last year, what were the odds of that happening?! (Especially given most of the teams sucked). The only stat from mind is that the longer something goes, the harder it is to maintain. Surely that's in the back of their mind.