At last, the thuggery has come to an end

By The High Shot / Roar Pro

The terrible spectre of ruthless on-field violence has again reared its scaly head and howled at the supermoon with the voice of the damned and the charnel-house breath of someone who doesn’t floss very often.

Mere days have passed since Paul Gallen attempted to panel-beat the lumps out of Nate Myles’s face causing untold damage to the psyches of journalists everywhere and changing the face of rugby league forever.

Not Nate Myles’s face. The face that rugby league presents to the world. A face recently stripped of shoulder charges and now a face without punches raining down upon it like rain made of punches.

A face lifted by the removal of knuckles crashing into it. A face that people everywhere will now definitely want to stroke with their eyeballs firmly on the TV screens that show rugby league at its about-faced best.

It’s a face that is instantly more beautiful; more Brad Pitt than acne-pitted. In their wisdom the very best sports minds and league critics pointed out to the rest of us that without punches, people who usually don’t watch the sport will now no longer continue to not watch.

Rugby league saved itself from a Fight Club style self-beating when its ruling elite declared that after 100+ years of punching-on being an inherent risk of a ferocious collision sport, the rules against knuckling an opponent’s mush will now be enforced.

The sport has taken the drastic step of introducing what they’ve termed “referees” – non-playing participants in the game whose job it is to oversee and enforce the rules of the sport on the fly. They even get whistles and natty little flags.

It remains to be seen if this innovation will have any effect but if it’s half as efficacious as the removal of bony balls of fist from stony countenances has been in terms of improving rugby league, it may prove to be a masterstroke.

Dave Smith et al, take a bow.

The measures introduced to mollify the reasonable and measured concerns of rugby league’s reluctant critics have gone a long way to healing the incredible damage done by Paul Gallen’s fists to the national psyche.

No longer do we fear letting our guard down to snatch a few minutes desperately-needed sleep. We’ve stopped telling our children horrible, nightmarish bedtime stories about NSW captains hiding under their beds.

Crime has dropped 97% in the last week as the soothed populace returned home from the wildernesses they’d fled to in blind, animal panic at the thought of a couple of rugby league players duking it out on the TV.

We’d just learned to breathe normally again when out of nowhere more on-field violence has skewered us like the delicate butterflies we are to the cardboard of hate by some sort of evil of butterflies collector.

You don’t need it spelled out any clearer than that.

We have once again been collectively assaulted in our homes by the gruesome sight of on-field violence.

When AFL club Fremantle Dockers ‘tagger’ Ryan Crowley pinched his opponent – North Melbourne’s Brent Harvey – in an undisclosed location an undisclosed number of times, he may as well have been pinching our hard-won innocence.

With every nasty squeeze of Harvey’s tortured flesh between the hammer of Crowley’s forefinger and the anvil of his thumb, he was doing more than visiting barbaric violence like some hideous reptilian beast, for example dinosaurs.

He was ripping the stitches out of our collective wounds, pinching the barely-healed scars with his malicious, grasping claws.

It was a horse-bite of hate that once again had us gathering our loved ones to our bosoms and running for the hills in fear of the end of civilisation as the gaping wound left by this act of savagery left us all wailing and gnashing our teeth.

However, once again the responsible governing body of the sport in question has stepped into the breach to stem the psychic bleeding and coax us down out of the trees.

Crowley will be fined somewhere between $900 and $1200 for his ruthless act.

This will send a strong message to his fellow AFL players that like their rugby league playing cousins, this sort of thuggish rubbish will not be tolerated.

We can un-board the windows, unload the shotgun, restore the electricity and once again return to our TV screens in time for State of Origin 2, safe at last.

For now.

The Crowd Says:

2013-06-27T03:26:45+00:00

Von Neumann

Roar Guru


If 'tonight' proved anything, its that we need to listen even less to people who think fighting is ok. if you are watching rugby league for the fighting and not for the football, you are are deluding yourself. fighting and insecurity are linked, fighting is a weakness. and i admit its hard to resolve that drive sometimes. its a remnant of our ancient past. in these days of political and social advancement, with everything we know about kids looking up to adults, ect, and the damage that fighting does socially and physically, emotionally....fighting is not cool at all. in fact there are other ways of solving things that produce far better outcomes. rl is a sport, not a boxing ring. i mean, there never was that much fighting lately anyway. well done arlc/nrl...all those players had to do was show a little restraint and not fight, but they couldn't even do that. parents dont want their kids playing a mindless thug game. Origin may be a curiosity for some, even an oddity, but fighting is not on.

2013-06-26T13:47:24+00:00

Pete75

Guest


If tonight proved anything, it's that we need to stop pandering to the wowsers in society. I'd question whether any of the shrill comments about Gallen's punches came from Rugby League fans. And therein lies the rub. Tonight we saw disgraceful display of hitting a thumbtack with a sledgehammer. There is absolutely no way, no way at all, that four players needed to sit in the bin for ten minutes. How has this come about? It has come about because non-fans of the game jumped onto the social media a couple of weeks ago and complained about Gallen's love taps. These complaints seemed to fall pretty much within one category: 1) ZOMG! My kids saw it! - Well guess what? Paul Gallen is not you child's parent (generally, I'm sure there's an exception or two). Your little darling is going to be exposed to a lot worse throughout the course of his/her life most of it under your nose playing Playstation or watching music videos. It is up to YOU as a parent to make them understand what right and wrong is. Furthermore, I'd propose that if a child is young enough to be influenced to a great degree by what they see on television, they shouldn't be up an an hour to see things that might influence them to such a great and negative extent. The problem is that imbeciles such as we saw last week on the social media have vented their spleen for no other reason that is the only vent they have. These people are the same sorts of people who drive in the right-most lane on the freeway, eyes fixed to the road in front of the, doing 15km/h under the limit. These people believe that they are incredibly safe because they never get a fine. But, eyes fixed on nothing other than the speedo and the road in front of them, fail to see the frustration that they cause behind them. These people wear hats and work a clerical position at the local council. They love rules for rules sake, because it ensures that they are shielded from the real world, with it's passions, loves, hates, hopes and dissapointments. These are the people that say: "I'd never let my child play rugby league". Well, no shit! Your child is the child that would, could, never play rugby league, because your child is a weak namby-pamby that is constantly running to the teacher in tears every time someone looks at them sideways or breaks the rule about replacing the lid on the rubbish bin. Your child is the same child who will take all of the fun, adventure and flavour out of life, just like you have, because they're ultimately quite scared of passionate people. Your child is going to follow in your footsteps and have all the swings, monkey-bars and carousels removed from the park, because they were too bloody unco to use them in the first place. Your child will, like you, measure the world by their own spacicities, and think that the whole world nneds to be reduced to their own level, for their own safety and regardless of how it affects the majority. Your child wiull be that quiet kid next door who takes a gun to work at the post office, because he/she is bored, frustrated and always followed the rules. So who gives a rat's arse what some wowser thinks when seeing the highlights on the news, and who didn't watch the game, and will never watch a game? To hell with them! For the record, I'm an NSW supporter. I support a tougher stance on violence in the game. But what is someone supposed to do when you have some big boofhead running at you? Write up a treaty? Trent Merrin is the only bloke who should have been binned. The rest was a massive over-reaction. When did public servants take over the game. /rant

2013-06-26T06:37:13+00:00

Jay C

Guest


oikee has never suggested that Papali is going to throw down at Gallen. He is just gonna get him good. Actually what Mal has done has made the NSWelshman think that this is all about the square-up, so they won't see us coming. And we'll be coming. Buckets.

2013-06-26T06:18:20+00:00

Meesta Cool

Guest


Oikee, you condemn Meesta Gallen and in the next sentence state that you now have someone capable of the same thing... make mind up mate, either ban thuggery or encourage it!, no fence sitting, saying that thuggery is bad from Meesta Gallen, but OK from Meesta Pappali. is just as bad as saying leave thuggery alone. Go Queensland, you have the skills to overshadow thuggerey!..

AUTHOR

2013-06-26T06:02:39+00:00

The High Shot

Roar Pro


sorry mate didn't mean to come across bitchy, I was being sincere :)

2013-06-26T05:55:49+00:00

itsuckstobeyou

Roar Pro


Is that a euphemism? Sorry THS. Incredible article. Read it twice. The NRL need to show some foresight and bring in tough new laws, mid-season of course, to stamp out the possibility of pinching creeping into our game. Automatic sin-bins for pinches, camel bights, chinese burns or nipple cripples. Send offs for dead legs and vulcan neck chops. We need to think of the children. http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view5/4521479/think-of-the-children-o.gif

AUTHOR

2013-06-26T05:28:47+00:00

The High Shot

Roar Pro


Please feel free to derail my future articles with further suggestions about beautiful women's gifs.

2013-06-26T05:23:27+00:00

oikee

Guest


"Gallen's fault". I wrote it many a blog ago and let it be written, all this has been caused by one man, and one man alone, Paul Gallen, the thug who put a end to thuggery. Nice work Gals,... PS, we have the Gallen Stopper who has slipped nicely under the radar to rub the salt into this open wound, oh the horror. hehe.

2013-06-26T05:05:17+00:00

Tristan Rayner

Editor


Presented without further comment.

2013-06-26T04:57:45+00:00

itsuckstobeyou

Roar Pro


Agreed. Just googled them. Outstanding.

2013-06-26T03:53:15+00:00

Kris Swales

Expert


Only Alison Brie gifs come close.

2013-06-26T02:02:04+00:00

itsuckstobeyou

Roar Pro


http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/slow_clap_citizen_kane.gif

AUTHOR

2013-06-26T00:26:23+00:00

The High Shot

Roar Pro


I agree and for the same reason I can now start watching AFL again.

2013-06-26T00:21:18+00:00

Marldon

Guest


Probably true, but now maybe some parents or grand parents will be more inclined to go to a match with their kids, let them watch RL on the telly instead of soccor or AFL. Might be a few people will engage with the sport a little more and not drift away, a few might renew their club memberships next year who would otherwise have let them lapse. It might not make a those that don't watch it now start to watch it but it might make a few currently watching continue to do so. There can be no place for thuggish behaviour like that in any walk of life.

2013-06-25T23:58:31+00:00

Kris Swales

Expert


"In their wisdom the very best sports minds and league critics pointed out to the rest of us that without punches, people who usually don’t watch the sport will now no longer continue to not watch." Somewhere on the Internet, a chorus of Citizen Kane gifs is wholeheartedly clapping its approval.

2013-06-25T23:11:09+00:00

Jay C

Guest


So just to be clear, if I am watching an u-15s local match, and one of the 6 foot front rowers from one team decides he is going to rearrange the face of the other teams half back. I am supposed to cheer? And commend him on his bravery? I love a bit of fisticuffs, especially in Origin, but Paul Gallen went too far. It cannot be condoned. And the fact it has been lauded by NSW is appalling.

2013-06-25T21:17:32+00:00

The Spectator

Roar Guru


Sensational.

2013-06-25T19:51:26+00:00

SuperEel22

Roar Guru


Brilliant, absolutely brilliant.

2013-06-25T16:57:09+00:00

andy og

Guest


Excellent

2013-06-25T16:21:00+00:00

Mr crispy

Guest


Probably the best piece I've read on any footy website for a long time, thank you!

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