While most Australian reports will be lamenting an embarrassing display in the Lord’s defeat, it’s hard to resist the euphoria in London. The only real sour taste comes from the genuinely embarrassing umpiring.
As I wrote about yesterday, England fans are slowly adjusting to the idea that their side is firmly on top of Australia, favourites, expecting to not just win but dominate.
Today was the final manifestation of that theory, as England closed out their second-biggest runs-based win at home.
The margin of 347 was flattered by the lower order. It could so easily have been over 400.
But along with the joy of English fans has been bonhomie, generousness, consideration.
While a few who we caught on tape were caught up in the elation of their moment, their conversations with us still included a remarkable reluctance to gloat.
No doubt there are some out there to whom these descriptions wouldn’t apply, but none that we met streaming out of Lord’s, brimming with delight that the match had been closed out in the final over of the fourth day, precluding the need to return for brief final rites on the last.
Where Ashton Agar was the bright star of youth at Trent Bridge, a successor donned harvest queen’s tiara for this match. Looking too young to generate even Stuart Broad’s dire attempts at stubble, Joe Root, the Yorkshire kid, produced a commanding performance.
It’s no surprise that an eight-hour Root destroyed Australia’s players.
Joe’s innings went from desperate to stubborn to outrageous across three days of play, then he bobbed up with the ball to remove our two top scorers and best hopes in the final survival innings.
As much as this Test marks England’s ascension, it’s a corresponding plummet for Australia.
From the series-losing final summer Test against South Africa, to some paltry wins over Sri Lanka, across the disastrous tour of India and now onto England’s unaccommodating shores, Australia has now lost six Tests in a row.
The worst ever sequence concluded in 1887, with seven losses. Our country has never lost eight.
The signs were all poor. Australia won the first day of this Test, yet still managed to get thoroughly pantsed in four.
The bloke who made 180 could have been out for 8, but Brad Haddin and Michael Clarke let an edge pass between them without moving. Similar chances went begging at Trent Bridge.
On a deck made for batting, Australia managed two half centuries across two innings. England made three and added two hundreds.
Australia’s tail keep showing up the top order. Batting for survival, James Pattinson faced more balls than anyone but Usman Khawaja. After those two and Clarke, the next on the list were Peter Siddle and Ryan Harris.
The final partnership added 43 runs, the one before it 30. If every partnership could have emulated this, the team could have closed on 400.
But for all Australia’s self-made woes, the truly abysmal umpiring in both matches so far must be resolved.
Third umpire for this match Tony Hill should be looking for ‘Help Wanted’ signs on the way to Old Trafford, though as one correspondent pointed out, he’d be unlikely to spot them.
Australia has had a frustrating time with referrals this series. Time and again, the lbw reviews called by Australia’s bowlers have reprieved English batsmen based on umpire’s call, while our batsmen are denied reprieves by the same measure. The ones our batsmen don’t challenge are the ones that prove incorrect.
There was criticism of the Agar stumping decision that went Australia’s way, but with shadow on the line it lacked conclusive evidence.
But in this match, Hill surely lost any sense of his role or responsibilities.
First he gave Ian Bell not out to a low catch by Steve Smith, though the fielder insisted it was clean and the replays showed Smith’s fingers low to the ground and under the ball.
Every commentator, journalist, and even England fans at the ground agreed the decision was blatantly wrong, but Hill took just two perfunctory replays to make it.
Then he went for the reverse tactic in Australia’s final innings, giving both Smith and Agar out to caught behind decisions with no conclusive proof. There were suggestions of a Hot Spot smudge on Smith’s bat, but the rolling images suggested the mark was there before the ball passed.
As for Agar, he was ruled not out by the standing umpire, and despite absolutely no contact being recorded by Hot Spot, Hill gave it out citing “a clear noise and deflection”.
If there was a clear deflection, there was also clearly an elephant having a tea party at square leg.
So with Snicko not available to third umpires, Hill overturned a not-out decision based on a slight microphone noise that may or may not have been bat.
It was the first time Agar has lost his smile, and he paused on his way off the field to make enquiries of standing umpire Marais Erasmus before leaving the field with a thundercloud visage.
With Shane Watson apparently having been taught how to use the DRS, someone must beat its correct application into the heads of the third umpires before the next Test starts.
Currently it is a shambles, embarrassing Test cricket and leaving a feeling of injustice over its decisions.
Nonetheless, we have seen outstanding cricket, and enjoyed the company of those we’ve met and corresponded with while seeing it. People have been stopping to chat with us outside the ground about some of the Ashes Diary videos they’ve seen.
For now, Cam and I are off to Iceland, to lead an unendorsed ICC development trip. We’ll report back with our results, then make our way to Manchester.
Excellent Manchester related stat: Ryan Giggs has played more Premier League games than Manchester City.
Stand by for some of the Ashes Diary footage we haven’t had the chance to show you yet, which should be available here over the coming days and weeks.
Hansie
Guest
Maybe the lack of reaction to the umpiring is because the powers that be don't want to divert attention from the fundamental problem, which is that the australian team is just not good enough. Whinging about umpiring decision is only an attempt to mask the problems.
Silver_Sovereign
Guest
Definitely Bird. Too many times in the 2 tests, Australia has never been able to keep the pressure bowling at both ends. Pattinson, Starc and Siddle have bowled way too many boundary balls. Siddle has at least taken 8 wickets. Bird averages less than 20 in FC and has a nagging line that I think he would stick to under pressure against England. His pace was touted as a reason not to pick him, but all the Aussie bowlers are down on pace. Bird in for Pattinson, Lyon in for Agar(hopefully being dropped will toughen him up and watching Swann will show him that bowling slower and tossing it up more often will work in the series). Faulkner is a bowler first and not good enough to leapfrog Harris or Siddle.
Homer Gain
Guest
Fair points Sheek. But whilst the averages doesn't say so, I'd regard Knott as a better batsman and an incomparably better keeper than Prior. He may not have scored as many runs as Prior but often got them when we needed them most. Prior's keeping in this series has been shoddy at best and his batting has looked like he believes some of the "England's Adam Gilchrist" guff. If he's no Alan Knott he sure as hell ain't no Adam Gilchrist.
Simoc
Guest
At least the standard of umpiring in the Ashes is higher than the quality of the writing reviews we see here on Roar. So weak and spineless to criticise those that cannot respond, more so after such an inept loss. At least we beat the Poms at whinging now.
sheek
Roar Guru
Gidday Geoff, Keep up the high standard! Random thoughts. There is a thoughtful article in the current edition of Inside Sport featuring Alistair Cook. On the tour of the sub-continent prior to Australia's rout, England were flummoxed in the first test against the Indian spinners. They were asked to follow-on & lost by 9 wickets. But a mighty second innings dig of 176 by Cook changed the mindset of English batsmen & Indian bowlers for the remainder of the series, despite India winning the first test. England triumphed 2-1 in four tests. When Australia were faced with a target of 582 over two days, I wanted the Aussies to take the game deep into the final day & show some resolve. It didn't happen. For Australia to start developing some belief in their batting, one or two guys are going to have to grit their teeth & hang-dog for 3-4-5 sessions, or whatever it takes, to win back respectability & eventually, honour. Ashton Agar's debut innings made Aussie hearts soar, but he wants to make sure he doesn't come crashing back to earth in a hurry. Phil Hughes & Sean Marsh are recent examples of stunning test starts turning quickly to mush. Then there's the example of Bob Massie making his debut in this Lords test in 1972. He took 16 wickets for the match (8 in each innings) & 34 in 6 tests. Less than twelve months later & his test career was over. We shouldn't be too unhappy with the current domination of this England team. If I had to pick the best England XI I've seen first-hand since about 1967/68, it would be: Alistair Cook (c), Geoff Boycott (vc), Jonathon Trott, Kevin Pieterson, Ian Bell, Ian Botham, Matt Prior (k), John Snow, Graham Swann, Derek Underwood, Bob Willis. Backups would include: Graham Gooch, David Gower, Tony Greig, Alan Knott, James Anderson & Darren Gough. As you can see, six of the current England XI have made this side with Anderson as one of the backups. So that's 7 out of 17. Prior gets the gig ahead of Knott only on batting ability, as is the modern trend. Knott remains the best pure wicket-keeper I've seen in 46 years, from any country. The umpiring is indeed a problem. If the technology is there, then use it, I say. Okay, perhaps we should have a maximum number of reviews, but obviously the two referrals per team is creating more problems than it's solving. In the umpire's defence, they need help. They especially need help by being able to use the DRS more often themselves. It's not rocket science logic. If we want the best officiating from the umpires, then give them some of the same benefits that every lounge-chair umpire enjoys in his living room with hotspot, snicko-meter, multiple replays from several angles, slow-mos & on it goes. Yet we expect the umpires to adjudicate with a symbolic one arm tied behind their back. It's crazy logic!
Scarlet
Guest
How can you write that drivel and not laugh at yourself Spiro?
anfalicious
Guest
If you see Svið on the menu in Iceland, be sure to grab some!
anfalicious
Guest
I don't think the criticism here is of DRS, it's the umpire using the DRS. I'm with you, I love DRS, I'm not sure the system is working as intended though. Perhaps it should be all left up to the umpire, if he's unsure he goes upstairs. If it's a bad call and he doesn't go upstairs then he may not be an umpire too much longer.
anfalicious
Guest
He looked a bit out of sorts in the first innings (didn't see the second), but who could blame him, he's spent the last year watching cricket rather than playing it. I was happy to read he'd got a 50 in the second.
Brian
Guest
Everyone thought DRS was great when we were flogging India and they refused to use it. DRS is there to get rid of the obvious howlers not get everythng 100% right. People forget just how many bad decisions were made before DRS. Australia had years of good home umpiring decision, I remember the kiwis had Langer plum first ball given not out, In Bollygate Symonds nicked to it to 3rd Slip and was not out. Likewise in 2005 Ashes England were helped with some dubious decisions which cost Australia. I am much happier now there is DRS rather than human umpires making obvious mistakes. Honestly if there was no DRS Haddin & Pattinson may have won the first test only for everyone to look at the TV replays and know that Haddin nicked it to slip
Khawarmy Khawarmy
Roar Pro
Mr Geoff, Love you're video's keep them coming! What about our man Uz? About the only positive to take out of an disastrous test. Finally found a number 3 who could be there for extended period and make significantly better contribution then we've seen in the last 18-24 months!
Johnny Banter
Roar Rookie
I'm guessing by Asgar you mean Agar? Trott's LBW was a dodgy decision, but Agar rightfully received the benefit of the doubt. The Aussies have certainly been on the bad side of the umpiring decisions so far this series, though that doesn't excuse the Lord's thrashing. England were by far the better team in game 2!
Pot Stirrer
Guest
I dont care how bad the umpiring is, it doesnt hide how far we have dropped in world cricket. The current team is a shamble and not worth watching. Peter Siddle is our best bowler and he couldnt get a look in a few years ago.
Cav
Guest
Bird is still the word, you might consider the fact that in the last seven tests he was only picked for two and has a one hundred per cent record. Seriously though now that we are in this situation I believe Lyon, Bird and Faulkner need to be given a go. Don't forget we have a lot of tests over the next 6 months.
Spiro Zavos
Expert
Brilliant stuff, Geoff. I am perplexed at the lack of reaction by Cricket Australia to the incompetency of the video umpire Tony Hill. He should be hounded out of his job. Imagine if the decisions he made had gone against England rather than Australia? The reptiles of Fleet Street and the gaggle of former England cricketers posing as broadcasters would have gone beserk. But the Australian powers that be seem to be taking the matter as casually and as ineffectively as the Australian batsmen fronted up to the England bowling. By the way, Geoff, that 'only 87 boundaries loss' is a cricket classic comment that will no doubt be stolen by other commentators. Ian Botham's prediction of a 10 - 0 Ashes whitewash is not looking so loony now that we've had two Tests played and lost by Australia.
Geoff Lemon
Expert
Ah DB, it all seems so long ago.
Geoff Lemon
Expert
Thanks for the pick-up, my sense of time has been destroyed by watching England's first two sessions on day three.
Chui
Guest
It's no surprise that an eight-hour Root destroyed Australia’s players. Gold. Although Warne, Border, Jones et al. wouldn't have broken into a sweat. Botham would have broken the bed in ten minutes.
Patrick Effeney
Editor
That video was utterly epic. Hopefully the delicious Scandinavian cuisine, including fermented shark with boiled potatoes, will take your mind of the Ashes pain. But more likely it will just make you pucker and cringe.
Patrick Effeney
Editor
Well spotted Bagration. I was about to say the same thing. I was sure that they played the Boxing Day and New Year's Tests every year, and this year (and last) proved no exception.