To further add to prominent terms which have dictated the NRL headlines in 2013, on top of ‘peptides’ and ‘epic bender crew’, ‘compassionate grounds’ has somehow become the new black in rugby league.
Now I can imagine all you hard nut traditional men out there, mumbling over your schooners down at the pub how these young bastards are all soft, wouldn’t have lasted a minute “back in your day”, and that the shoulder charge/fighting ban has ruined everything.
This however is the modern era big fella. Men are now encouraged to express if they are unhappy or emotional, but it seems whining when they do speak up is part of the attitude as well.
Earlier this season I was speaking to a player who had an absolute shocker of a game, the public went nuts for it and served him a caning.
“I hate it, my coach wouldn’t even speak to me after, I couldn’t talk to anyone – not even our team doctor about how I felt.”
Yeah yeah, I’m a woman writing this, again what would I know but let me tell you something buddy, I reckon I know a damn sight more than you when it comes to getting into the minds of a footballers head. And yes that did read head, not bed.
I can only put it down to my past. Being in a relationship with a rugby player for almost five years, I’ve seen it all.
The ex played the most sensational footy under his favourite coach and closest teammates; he was pure genius to watch. With almost two years on since we broke up I have no reason to be biased.
Any footballer knows all too well when you rock up to training it’s the best time you can have, the bonding alone will be engraved into your soul forever. When it’s good, man, it’s the best.
Running out with out your best mates, reading each other’s plays with ease to pull off magic tries? You can’t beat that. Beers with your coach giving you some special props in the sheds after? A wonderful thing.
But what happens when a player changes clubs? When we moved overseas due to a new contract the downward spiral began. Trying to recreate all that former success with a new coach and teammates? It’s as rare as a video ref making the right call.
So it begins. They start to come home from training grumpy, “the coach is a d-ck, makes us do ridiculous drills”. Etc, etc.
“Yes but he is the coach” I’d repeat 40,000 times feeling like I was talking to Krisnan Inu when he donned his Warriors uniform.
Too late though, the onslaught has already begun. New teammates now start to lose respect for their new signing, “he doesn’t appreciate how good he has it”, yada-yada.
So they start to ignore him at training. They may go to dinner after training and not invite him. During games they’ll make selfish plays and not give him the ball when he is clearly open. The players now don’t want him there anymore, he feels it and he too wants outs.
He turns up, but he no longer commits to training. When he does put in effort he keeps to himself. The coach in turn no longer speaks to him one on one, and trust breaks down.
Cue the players managers to make it all go away.
I’m not saying this is the case with Ben Barba, Anthony Milford or Blake Ferguson. But nevertheless it does happens across all codes, the NRL’s new welfare unit is a long awaited start.
Still, there are those out there who want them to open up about how they are feeling, but then call them soft when they do.
Make up your mind. There has to be some give.
planko
Guest
I am sorry but I hate this whole let me out of a contract routine. Good smart players milk there current club with the threat of leaving and stay put for less. The amount of players that are allowed out of contracts now days I don't know why they bother signing them.
planko
Guest
I am sorry but I hate this whole let me out of a contract routine. Good smart players milk there current club with the threat of leaving and stay put for less. The amount of players that are allowed out of contracts now days I don't know why they bother signing them.
Hoy
Roar Guru
Solid comment. Everyone has issues. My pet hate is a player having a brain snap, and 100 media spinners come out and calim alcohol dependancy/depression/whatever they can to make excuses for him. It is too easy to make those excuses for being an idiot, but you dare not say that they are full of it, because you can't call into question those issues. Secondly, you see it all the time... A player in a red hot streak, thinks they are better than what they are, signs up to another club, and goes like a busted... Young players need to recognise that they might be on a red hot streak, but there could be external reasons such as the coach playing group etc. For example, Corey Norman at the Broncs. Hot form at start of the year, wanted to play 5/8, but wasn't picked there, signed to Parra. His red hot form was simply due to not playing 5/8 I think. Coming in from the back gave him time and space that he needed to create, and play the way he was. Young players that move as they ascend the skills mountain really do struggle I think. Dave Taylor? Should have stayed at the Broncs, or at least teh Rabbits for a lot longer.
bully
Guest
if you happy where u are than why change clubs unless your a money hungry grub who deserves to be hated by his peers.
Chris
Guest
Great comment. People don't turn on other's for no reason. There is always a common denominator which some might only have to look in the mirror to find.
Knight Vision
Guest
interesting piece that deserves further debate. Could it also be that this " modern era big fella " is breading a generation of people who are blameless and expect to always have things their way ? Life has never been easy and never will be." Life sucks" so blame it on being small, life sucks so blame it on being fat, life sucks so blame it on being black, white , or yellow ( take your pick ) life sucks blame it on the coach or team mates.How about sticking with the program and working through the tough times ? How about dealing with the problems and coming through the other side a more mature and considerate adult, a person of character. You come into this world with nothing, but hopefully when it's time to leave you have accumulated some virtues that no money can buy, among them honor , loyalty , decency.I understand the feeling of bonding with your mates as much as any professional sportsman, I was in the military and there is no way that you would ever let your mates down ....ever, and there is no way your commanding officer or your fellow company members would turn against you if you always committed 100% to the cause.....ever. Maybe the player you use as an example in your article needs to only look at himself to see the reasons why " life sucks " and instead of running away should face up to the task at hand, work through them and one day become a man.
Greg Prichard
Guest
Interesting piece. A bit of perspective never hurts.
up in the north
Guest
Good read Hayley, thanks. I never looked at it from that perspective. Sometimes we have to put up with the crap decisions we make, the sign of character is how we deal with it. No-one said it would be easy.
turbodewd
Roar Guru
When I was in my early 20s I did and said some dumb things. Most of us do. I certainly am willing to give anyone in their 20s a chance or 2 to get on the straight & narrow. Barba sounds liked he indulged in too much partying n pokies. If he lessened the partying a bit and forgot the pokies completely he can go places. He just needs to work on his defence, its terrible!
Pot Stirrer
Guest
instead of feeling sorry for themselves why not just work harder, Eeryone knows what thier signing up for and they all want the money other wise why not stay where they were ? But this is GEN Y, Wanting all the rewards for being adults but not the responsibilities
Brent Ford
Roar Guru
A good insight there Hayley, I enjoyed reading it and can understand where you are coming from.