Footy is about passion – great big ball-kicking lumps of passiony goodness.
It’s what enables us to take a break from calm, reasonable commonsense-based conversations about furthering our species towards betterment, and instead stand around on a Monday talking stats and spectacular feats of physical prowess.
But among these weekly dissections of the games gone by, and the fixation on the minutia that makes dream team scores and tipping a more rewarding topic of conversation than work, lies a much underrated facet of this passion, yearning to be the highlight of a pre-game panel discussion: the footy theme song.
Who cares about disposals, uncontested possession and the percentage of wins that one team’s coach has over the other? Who cares about the injury list and kicking efficiency?
All these will make way over the next few weeks for a countdown of what really is the end result of every match: hearing your team’s club song blearing out of the stadium speakers, be drowned out by jubilant fans singing it in double-time, and being butchered by the players themselves back in the rooms.
With only 18 days until grand final day, let us focus on which team truly deserves to win. Day by day we will whittle down the contenders until only one champion remains standing.
Hark! The sirens have blown! The flautists and pipers stand ready! Let us commence the countdown…
The first thing that becomes apparent when listening to all the club songs is that no one should have been allowed to join the AFL during the 90s.
Why couldn’t they have waited? I know West Coast would have been robbed of a couple of premierships, but it would have been for the best.
‘Power to win’ is bad. Really bad. Bad enough that I’m considering rooting for Geelong this weekend, as much as I love an underdog upset.
Their song, however, isn’t an underdog worth rooting for. It takes too long to start, has silly breaks in the middle, bad time changes, and goes on for long.
Isn’t there anyone in South Australia who plays brass instruments? Are they banned there? Why does it sound like it’s been made it a quick two hour session on a keyboard?
It’s not entirely woeful, I suppose – if they had worked on the first verse (or maybe had just left it at that), it could have fit in with the sing-along, old-timey perfection of some of the league’s better tunes.
But it doesn’t. It has its good qualities, but it’s a mess.
Tell me honestly that if you played this to someone who wasn’t aware it was a song for a football club, they wouldn’t think it was an entry for Eurovision that didn’t make it.
Think about that for a moment – a song bad enough not to make Eurovision.
Normally I am a bit dismissive of supporters leaving the ground before the final siren to ‘make the train’ or ‘beat the traffic’, but if Port Adelaide were 40 points up over your club with two minutes left, then you have my permission.
bilbo
Guest
Port's song sounds like that perky country cousin we all have that runs on Eveready Batteries, and doesn't know what ADHD means. I can see the appeal for kids, but adults view it with that squinted, round shouldered garnering when told about an imminent arrival from parts unkown.
bilbo
Guest
Ah yes, "we're flying high" and Cousins. Trash it Eagles and look at something from those Hotel California lads.
bilbo
Guest
Glad its not just the 'rest of comp' that thinks its so bad. No soul, fizzle or bang. Good article, needed to be said.
JR Salazar
Guest
Sounds like something your would hear at a gym. Reminds me of Olivia Newton-John.
Connor
Guest
Fremantle should be called the Anchors, so win they win it will say W-Anchors (where W stands for win).
Franko
Guest
Port didn't use The Saints Go Marching In. My point was that many many teams do, for example 4-5 in the EPL. Likewise Glory Glory is sung by South Sydney, Tottenham, Man Utd, Leeds, Hibs etc. Port should have kept "Cheer cheer the black and the white" or maybe changed it to "Cheer cheer the black teal and white" aswell as keeping their jumper, although keeping Magpies may have been a bridge too far.
Jack Smith
Roar Guru
Who said it was crap? What? Fools. I like it and go to the Giants games often and have been able to belt it out - it is so so catchy. That is why I have named Swans, Collingwood and Giants as top. If you are not a fan and just a spectator of the game, you can't help but singing along and it isn't your team. They make you notice their songs. I have been at games where I don't notice the other team's song isp laying till half way through. Those you know they are being played. Your song should make your proud of your team. Port's does not. Saints' is fairly bad. Demons' is dull. Freo's is odd but nor bad nor good. Sounds like they attempted rock with pop and...enter their song. Bombers has potential but their lyrics let them down. I remember the Eagles was ironic during Cousins' time. "We're flying high" - we know, that's why we're convicting you...
Jack Smith
Roar Guru
In future I would suggest putting a link to the song in the article.
Jack Smith
Roar Guru
Brisbane's should be more upbeat to be better.
Jack Smith
Roar Guru
Not a fan on St Kilda's. Tiger's is up there but 'Tigerland' is repetitive. Swans, Pies and Giants all are unique in their lyrics and catchy. All have good accompanying music.
Floyd Calhoun
Guest
He bought the CD?!!
John
Guest
I know a family of Collingwood supporters whose son loved the Port song so much they had to keep checking if the lad was still supporting Coollingwood. He said he did, but he kept playing the Port song endlessly.
Floyd Calhoun
Guest
Richmond may not win too many, but in this category, there's really not much of a contest. Like nearly all of the Victorian clubs, the melody was stolen from old popular songs of the day, They pinched theirs from 'Row row row', and, as another example, Hawthorn went for 'Yankee doodle dandy'. The recent clubs probably chose an advertising company to compose their aural atrocities. Or Mike Brady. By the way, the 'Row row row' I'm referring to is not the 'gently down the stream' song of a similar name.
Geoffrey
Roar Pro
All very good, valid points! I had no idea about Port using the Saints Go Marching - good pub trivia question, that. And that's a nice article that's been linked to there about the Eagles song - I wish I'd read that to pinch some stuff before I wrote some other entires in this series... Oh, and please let that Bernard Tomic quote be true...
Bobbie
Guest
,My top three are Hawthorn*, Collingwood, and Richmond. *My team is Hawthorn, so there may be bias involved.
Joel Erickson
Roar Guru
I quite like the song, it's not boring like some of the others can be
Cameron
Guest
I've heard the total opposite, I have heard from numerous people who don't follow Port Adelaide or AFL at all say that they find this song to be one of the best songs in the league. I do agree with you somewhat. I don't mind the song, but it could definitely be better. Yes, I am a Power fan.
Brent Ford
Roar Guru
I like Port's song :( My favourite memory is belting it out (even though I'm a Saints fan) after the 2004 grand final when the Power were Giant killers!
Dan of SA
Guest
Melbourne has a song?
Stewie
Guest
When the Giants song first came out, there were articles everywhere on how crap it was. But I LOVE it. Not only was it written by a member of one of my favourite bands (Harry Angus from Cat Empire), it's rhythm and syncopation and shiz is awesome. I reckon it's second only to Yellow and Black, with the Swans third.