Back in the 90s, when TV still employed actors, there was a program called Sliders, a middling prime-time, sci-fi romp based around the concept of coexisting alternate realities.
Each week the group of stereotypes would turn up in a universe where Russia had invaded England, penicillin had never been invented or people laughed at Beau Ryan’s jokes before overcoming some sort of minor conflict en route to returning to their own dimension.
While the execution of the show never lived up to the promise of its concept, at times the stilted acting and Super Nintendo level special effects would give way to an idea that could actually make you ponder the world in which we live and ask ‘what if?’
Casting an eye over the Rugby League World Cup quarter final match-ups, the 12-year-old kid in me, who still thinks Jerry O’Connell is cool, wants to ask ‘what if?’
What if one of the little guys, the second tier-ers, can play the perfect 80 minutes and knock off one of the big three?
And, what if it was Australia coming home early?
Mere milliseconds after full-time is blown, the rugby league world is tipped on its head when a lacklustre, sloppy Australian side is defeated by a spoiling and gritty Tomahawks team, roared on by the one-eyed Racecourse crowd.
While stunned rugby league scribes try to comprehend what they’ve just witnessed, the mainstream English press, already in an Ashes-induced frenzy, shifts into overdrive in an attempt to crank out as many ‘Kanga-poo!’ related headlines as possible.
In the camps where the English and New Zealand sides are staying, several holidaying Spanish schoolchildren are trampled by heavily tattooed players rushing to the hotel bar, while Fijian and Samoan players head to the local markets try to buy some knock off Manchester United strips for their potential visit to Old Trafford.
Disillusioned and embarrassed, the Australian squad scatters across the continent like a group of convicts from an overturned prison bus.
A couple are tracked down a few weeks later holed up in a dingy Amsterdam hostel, James Tamou is busted by Stephen Kearney trying to sneak on to the Kiwi team bus, while Tim Sheens is found by a French fishing trawler attempting to row a tackle bag across the English channel.
Back home things turn nasty, as an Australian public – already starved of success – turns on the team, calling for Sheens’ head.
Phil Gould calls for more money to combat the threat of the Arena Football League, Geoff Toovey calls for an investigation.
Ray Price goes onto morning TV and guarantees the public he can lead the Roos to glory in between bus shifts.
It’s not all bad though.
ESPN gets wind of the story and decides to do a documentary on Terry Matterson’s team, exposing them to millions of mainstream American sports fans.
The RLIF maps out an international schedule for the Americas, backed by a large cash injection, while Parramatta signs Tomahawks halfback Craig Priestley.
Best of all though, the ARL schedules a re-match at Suncorp stadium… to be played whenever the best Tomahawks players are unavailable most likely.
Look, I know it’s a bloody big if. We’re talking John Rhys-Davies’ butt big.
Betting agencies are giving the US a 52 point head start, and to expect a team of semi-pros from the Southampton Dragons to defeat the NRL machine is as absurd as anything Sliders dished out.
But at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what we think, it’s not about us.
It’s about 17 blokes wearing the red, white and blue looking around their change room and wondering, ‘what if…’
Steven
Guest
the Aussies, kiwis & England should all agree beforehand to bow out in the quarters & semis having bet the house on the next best team before the tournament starts. would make them all millionaires, and bankrupt the bookies!
deanp
Guest
Kiwis don't do irony. I believe it was respected rugby journo Stephen Jones who first made that observation.
deanp
Guest
enough of this silly talk. The AllBlacks are the most dominant team in the history of the world. That is a proven fact. It is also a fact that Kiwis are the undisputed world champions of humility. But we'd not expect jealous ockers to give any credit were it's due.
Slane
Guest
+1
PhillNZ
Guest
I believe all of the roos will have their contracts renegotiated with the A-League and America will become the dominant sport in RL. Rugby League will replace America's sport, baseball, as their number 1 sport. The head of USARL will no doubt be Russell Crowe. Also the NFL will have a name change to NRL and will get rid of American Football and convert all teams to RL and will change their names to Bronco's , Eagles , Titans , Cowboys , panthers etc.....all based on the Tomahawks success.This has already started happening , in the streets of NY , wino's to the upper class elite of Donald Trump are talking Rugby League and believe it or not are calling Rugby League the great game -I sh#t you not. Already on Oprah Winfrey show the ratings have gone thru the roof with little known rugby league hero Dave from dungah doo dee commentating live on Oprah's show. President Obama , a fervent rugby League man , played and captained rugby league at Princetown has been seen doing banana kicks on the white house lawn. Sensational!!!Go you good thing go!!!!!Ohh hang on thats not Rugby League!!!!!
jeznez
Roar Guru
PS, if Union players can't tackle then who can? Every single cross-over League back with the possible exception of Tuquiri have been liabilities in defence from Carne through Rogers and Sailor on to Tahu and Vuna. Folau is better than most above but he has had quite a few shockers in reading play and being in position to make tackles. Take a look at the Argies match just last month for a glaring example. The forwards have been better but in the case of SBW we had to teach him to actually tackle rather than just shoulder charge while Ryan and Thorn were both sound without being devastating. Meanwhile plenty of Union guys have gone across and been fine in league. You have the odd exception like Morgan but anyone from union could have told you he wasn't suitable well before the Crushers pulled out a cheque book. Guys like Kennedy, Price, O'Connor, Mossop all the way back to Messenger have been perfectly competent and most better than that. I'm not saying any of them were on a par with Cement Gillespie or the Axe but they were quite serviceable while the initial group of names above were diabolical.
Red&BlackKnight
Guest
I was at that game and it was 2-0 to the Socceroos in the first half...against the first choice England team! It was 1-1 in the second half when the "kids" came on for the poms (including a young man making his debut, called Wayne Rooney). Their goal was scored by Francis Jeffers of all people. So it wasn't a case of tactics or choice of players, but the EPL pros not caring enough about the shirt and taking the Aussies too lightly.
killaku
Guest
Good call Clark
killaku
Guest
The Roos are gonna get smashed by the Kiwi's and are not fit enough to take on the AB's.Both teams would smash the Roos
Adam Smith
Guest
This would be good to see which of the Americans are actually decent players. Then, NRL clubs should recruit them. Come next World Cup, they should be much more competitive.
Muzz
Guest
Josh, Do you think the players feel that way?
Dan
Guest
Yeah, I heard all that at the time, but it was still pretty unbelievable at the time for most Australians. You have to remember that back then soccer was the fourth biggest sport and had a very small following, so beating any England team was a little like England beating Australia in AFL.
Pot Stirrer
Guest
Seriously, the Allblacks are no different to any other Rugby team, they cant tackle and would get smashed by the Roos.
Chris Kettlewell
Roar Guru
Although, beating them in a WC is a bit bigger than beating them in a friendly when they were coached by a non-Englishman who didn't get that in an England v Australia game you don't want to risk losing by switching your entire team out at half-time even if you think it's basically a meaningless match!
Matt
Guest
greatest idea ever. get a city that has the worst NFL team and give disenfanchised fans an other option. should of happened in08 in detriot.
eagleJack
Guest
Gold! 78 down, 99,922 to go!
Christo the Daddyo
Guest
Has someone forwarded this article on to Ben Pobjie?
eagleJack
Guest
A bit rich coming from a Kiwi! ;)
Chris Chard
Expert
On another note; https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/recognize-usa-tomahawks-rugby-league-team-white-house-visit-after-rugby-league-world-cup/p4gYZm4C
Mals
Guest
A bit like that 2nd tier Wallabies outfit being the 1st nation to win 2 rugby world cups :-)