You could have struck me dumb as I tuned in to the Channel Nine broadcast of the one day international between Australia and England at the SCG and saw three idiots (there is no other word for it) dressed in comic book and Elvis outfits in the commentary box.
The great Bill O’Reilly had no time for what he called “the pyjama game” of 50 overs one-day cricket.
The sight of players, some of them the greatest in the history of the game, dressed in coloured clothing just drove him mad. In his acerbic and brilliantly worded columns in the Sydney Morning Herald, he would launch sustained verbal attacks on the format which were as ferocious as his bowling attacks on the unfortunate batsmen having to face up to him.
What he would have said about Michael Slater, James Brayshaw and David Lloyd, the three stooges involved in Channel Nine’s desperate attempt to dumb down their cricket coverage, would surely have been memorable.
For my part, it sickened me to see way a channel that created the modern and often admirable coverage of cricket diminish its coverage with a ploy that was an insult to all of us who tuned in to watch a sporting contest that held a great deal of interest, especially in the development of the Australian squad to contest the World Cup next year.
I don’t know what the rationale was for the Mickey Mouse antics of the three commentators. I don’t know what they were talking about. For as soon as I saw their ridiculous outfits, I tuned out until the cricket began.
There is always a danger in competitive sport the determination by broadcasters to turn every event into a spectacle can lead, if the broadcasters are not careful, into the essence of the sport and its real appeal becoming submerged in the puffery of enforced entertainment.
When this happens on a regular basis, the sport is doomed as a sport.
The classic example of this professional wrestling.
Up to the 1950s wrestling had a huge and knowledgeable spectator base around the world. It was one of the first sports that made an impact on television.
However, the advent of a wrestler of limited ability but a genius at show business, the self-styled Gorgeous George, ultimately killed off wrestling as a sport.
It is now an entertainment, with rigged results and phony persona going through their antics.
Channel Nine is on track to doing a Gorgeous George with its cricket coverage.
During the Ashes Test series we had the appalling spectacle of Piers Morgan offering his body as a target to be smashed by a Brett Lee bouncer.
Now, if Sunday’s antics are any indication, Channel Nine are making the commentators the talent (or trying to make the commentators the talent!) rather than the players and the game itself.
As the commentators talked a lot about matters that had nothing to do with the cricket being played in front of us, I thought of the other great leg-spinner from NSW, Richie Benaud, who worked out the modern ODI rules for Kerry Packer and Channel Nine.
Benaud is arguably the best of the television cricket commentators, just as John Arlott had a similar claim to being the best cricket commentator on radio.
Radio suited Arlott’s great ability with words. When Australia could not dismiss David Shepherd (an England opening bat in heavy-footed and powerful driving form and at the time an Anglican vicar and later a Bishop), Arlott remarked: “Australia may well feel like Henry II about the Archbishop of Canterbury Thomas a Beckett: ‘Will no one rid me of this turbulent priest’.”
Television, though, is a picture rather than a word medium. Benaud introduced and practised the rule that as the ball was bowled, the commentators ceased their chatter. They and their audience concentrated on how the ball was played.
After the ball had been played or not played, then the commentary could be picked up.
The point to Benaud’s rule is the cricket is what matters, rather than the commentary.
The meaning behind the Benaud rule seems to have been ditched, unfortunately, in the great man’s absence.
Channel Nine should look to the Big Bash to stop the nonsense of making the commentary box the talent, rather than the players and what they do or don’t do on the field.
In its first two years, the Big Bash failed to make the impact the hoopla and the dollars spent promoting it should have achieved.
Too much money and emphasis was spent on promoting Shane Warne as a sort of Gorgeous George of cricket. The coverage, too, was replete with Mickey Mouse antics.
For those of us who admired Warne as a player and found him insufferable as a so-called personality (he has as much dynamism as a personality as one of his hair-pieces), we just recoiled against the format and wouldn’t watch it.
But with Warne, thankfully, out of the way (and back on Channel Nine), the Big Bash has found its mojo.
The format, with the emphasis on the players, the teams and the results, has been a sensational rating success for the embattled Channel Ten.
They have put together a commentary team, too, that is knowledgeable and enthusiastic with a chatty style, unlike the yelling and screaming style now favoured by Channel Nine.
I never thought I’d be saying this, but the Channel Ten coverage of the Big Bash has made this form of the game great fun to watch, which is the name of the television game.
The huge television ratings, on average this year 929,817 against 232,864 last year, suggest the rest of the cricket-loving community is also impressed.
On the other hand, the Channel Nine coverage of the ODI is making watching something of an ordeal, despite the fact that Australia, brilliantly captained by Michael Clarke, are still in the process of smashing the old foe.
bee bee
Guest
Foxtel did not build any momentum. It just held back a sport that was destined to be big. Just like its holding back Super Rugby and A-League. (one SBS 2 game a week is hardly adequate Mr Gallop.) I understand that Foxtel forks $ out to sports that would otherwise get no coverage on FTA and helps sports attain revenue that would not otherwise be available. Both the NRL and AFL seem to have mastered the trick of dangling out enough FTA coverage for poorer non Foxtel fans to stay interested. Whist keeping most games on Fox. I am not 100% anti Foxtel. But only a Foxtel executive or board member would truly believe that it built a platform for BBL. And no sport wishing to grow in this nation would go exclusive Foxtel. To go exclusive Foxtel is to guarantee a lack of general public interest in your sport. It is a terrible platform.
Floyd Calhoun
Guest
Sorry if that sounded a bit terse FM. I honestly haven't noticed those differences as a Victorian now living in Newcastle. Malbn is pronounced the same up here as far as I can tell. Now, Malvern Star bikes, well that's another story. Cheers.
SammyH
Guest
This.
apaway
Roar Guru
Couldn't agree more, Spiro. However, you do know that professional wrestling was a form of entertainment (ie, having bouts with pre-determined outcomes) a long time before Gorgeous George Wagner became famous? What Wagner did was to tap into the new medium of television and add colour and flamboyance to a "sport" which was already a role play of good vs evil. What Channel Nine doesn't understand is that the commentators are not part of the show. Given that cricket is not pre-determined, they have fallen into the trap of assuming that they need to up the entertainment ante, just in case the game itself fails to deliver.
MRL
Guest
Eddie wasn't in Australia - he was in London calling the Olympics, with his hand on it.
Mantis
Roar Guru
I don't know if its already been mentioned (I assume it has been said to death, but don't have time to read all the comments) but I think Channel 9 commentary has become even more of a joke then it was since Slats has come on board. And the more influence he gets in the CCP, which he seems to be quite high up in at the moment, the worse the commentary gets, to the point where they were dressed up in stupid costumes the other day. No way Richie would have let that happen. The sooner Slats is gone the better.
Mantis
Roar Guru
At least they talk about cricket the majority of the time and analyse what is actually happening in the game. Channel 9 has turned into a joke, as Spiro has said, and it seems the commentators are more talking about themselves, or anything other than cricket, than the game itself.
Dan
Guest
Spiro, The trick is to mute the TV and put on a decent radio coverage instead (or leave it silent altogether).
Fox Molder
Guest
FC, Did you read the article linked? Obviously not. The phenomenon is the subject of various academic studies, including by the University of Melbourne / Malbourne / Mellbun. http://www.als.asn.au/proceedings/als2009/loakeshajekfletcher.pdf
dynamitedave
Guest
anyone who needs proof that sport drives the ratings on channels should know that I now know that channel 10 shows other shows beside the simpsons. as a queenslander who loves rugby league, I am aware of channel 7, but have no idea what they show. I watch cricket, I watch rugby league. (I have nothing against afl, just don't know enough about it - because i grew up in league towns in qld) I missed part of the rugby league world cup, as I woke, turned onto channel 9, didn't find it on, turned off the tv and went to bed. only to learn it was on 7
WhatUsername
Roar Rookie
My solution? Listen to Test Match Sofa. Much better than the ramblings of said channel 9 fanboys.
dynamitedave
Guest
I think the format of the women's ashes is wrong. Should play the test last. 2020 first, then 1 day then test. the point system means our girls need a miracle to win now....
Gooner
Guest
Won't somebody think of the children!
Jack Russell
Roar Guru
This 100%. The BBL was massive for Fox, an average rating of 250k or so was huge, and had every FTA station hopping around looking for a slice. I doubt CA expected it to be as big as it was in the first couple of years.
Gpc
Guest
Not mention the rubbish they talk as a game just like Fridays is coming to a dramatic close. It's as if they are not even interested. I remember a game last year when they were talking about sea gulls in the final over! On Friday bill Lawry would have been jumping out of the com box. Makes me sick.
Floyd Calhoun
Guest
Correction FM. For what it's worth. Most Melbournians know how to pronounce their home town for God's sake. How would you suggest they do it? Just for the record. The first syllable rhymes with 'bell' and the second with the NZ for 'bin'. Easy. Even you could do it.
Sandy
Guest
Interesting, which South African commentators aren't ex cricketers?
Daniel Szabo
Roar Guru
I can't stand whenever Warnie opens his mouth regarding anything other than the on-field action (he's actually a good and insightful commentator when he wants to be). I remember during one of the Ashes tests Australia were fielding and for some stupid reason, Warne felt like describing Michael Clarke's every move. So after every ball in an entire over, the camera cuts to Clarke and Warne says something along the lines of "look how restless Pup is; adjusts the cap, the collar, rubs his face, scratches his neck etc.", then next ball he goes "there he goes again, the cap, the collar, his face, his neck, hahahahahaha he's so restless look at him" as Michael Clarke exhibiting restlessness bordering on ADHD is funniest thing he's ever seen. Then, as if that's not annoying enough, he uses this as a segway to "take us into the head of Michael Clarke" so that he can ultimately remind the viewers (just incase we were wondering) that him and Clarke are really good mates. This is just one example (the most annoying that I can think of) of Warne reminding us that Clarke and him are best mates. He does it all the time. I also can't stand when he says 'Malbourne' (there's no A in Melbourne Warnie!!!) and when he calls Slats 'Mick'. Speaking of Slats, why is he almost permanently option D for the KFC classic catches? And speaking of things that I can't stand: James Brayshaw. He should stick to his idiotic footy show and co-hosting that bloody WipeOut show with Josh Lawson. Here's hoping Hussey doesn't get dragged down by these imbeciles over the coming years.
Simoc
Guest
You're a bit lost Fox. Channel 7 has the footy so that sorta stuffs your argument. Paul Gallen, Hodge, Raudonikis , Bradbury and others, league ,footy, skating . Don't watch. You won't be missed.
Simoc
Guest
Perfect. No commentary. Just the microphones on the ground to get the feeling. The ABC has needed fresh legs since the Englishman departed so unfortunately. Channel 10 commentary is fresh and Channel 9 commentary cavemen like in their ridiculous collar and ties on a 40C day for sport coverage. They talk gibberish because they feel they have to talk all the time. They don't. Fancy thinking ex cricketers make the best commentators. They plainly don't. Indian and South African commentators are the best out there and none of them retired exs.