Rankings – where every man and his dog can rank whatever he feels like, from which players are the best to which waterboy most efficiently disperses water.
Incidentally, I would rank Melbourne waterboys as the best; they have so many intervals after the opposition has kicked a goal to efficiently disperse water.
Also, it means Melbourne are number one at something for once.
Having ranked the 12th to ninth best AFL coaches in part one and eighth to fifth in part two today I reveal my top four AFL coaches.
4: Chris Scott – Geelong (record: 73 games – 56 wins, 17 losses)
He should’ve retired after winning a premiership in his first season, just so he could go around talking about his 100% strike rate of seasons coached to premierships won.
You missed your opportunity to become immortal Chris! Statisticians in 100 years would reverently speak your name as they saw your perfection, and you threw it all away.
Anyways, Scott has done a masterful job in continuing to build on the Mark Thompson Cats dynasty, winning a flag in 2011 and making the finals in the last two seasons, despite having to absorb the losses of countless premiership heroes and the departure of the great Gary Ablett Junior.
Scott, and the whole Geelong coaching staff, should be given extra credit for the way they’ve managed to successfully integrate new players into the squad, meaning the Cats can contend for finals and maybe even flags for the next five years, rather than experiencing a drop-off like most great teams do when older players leave en masse.
This year will be a big challenge for Scott and the Cats, as they deal with the loss of more premiership stars, improvements in teams below them and the fact Joel Selwood may leave the game to ply his trade in acting.
If they can make the preliminary finals again, chalk it up as a masterful coaching performance by Scott.
3: John Longmire – Sydney (record: 74 games – 48 wins, 24 losses, two draws)
The Sydney Swans aren’t like any other club, and not least because they have an extra 10% in their salary cap to prevent their players earning hundreds of thousands of dollars a year from living on the street.
Unlike other clubs, Sydney has managed to pull off a coaching transfer so seamlessly you sometimes forget they pulled off a coaching transfer.
It helps that the person they got to replace Paul Roos was involved as assistant for nearly a decade at the Swans, and is an exceptional coach in his own right.
Longmire managed to win a premiership with a team widely considered to have some good young prospects, but a core filled with players other clubs had no use for and wily veterans who were a few years past their peak.
The Swans of 2014 are a better team than the 2012 Swans were, with the introduction of Buddy Franklin and Kurt Tippett to form an overpowered forward line, as well as the continued growth of youngsters like Dan Hanneberry and Garry Rohan.
If John Longmire can get Buddy on-side and convince him to play the high pressure brand of football the Swans have made famous, expect another premiership to head to Sydney Harbour.
2: Alastair Clarkson – Hawthorn (record: 213 games – 129 wins, 83 losses, one draw)
Clarkson has now lead the Hawks to two premierships, an outstanding achievement after taking over a club that hadn’t anything spectacular since the great Hawks sides of the 1980s.
He successfully oversaw smart drafting policies so he could mold the team in his own image, successfully crafting a team with the best foot skills the game has ever seen and revolutionising defensive strategies with the stifling pressure of the ‘Clarkson Cluster’, which has since been adopted by almost every team.
And he’s done it all playing an exciting style of football that has been a joy to the neutrals.
A pretty great resume, but the number one position was always going to…
1: Ross Lyon – Fremantle (record: 169 games – 109 wins, 55 losses, five draws)
It had to be Mr Lyon, also known as Ross the Boss, the Freo Messiah, the Wizard of the West and, this name brought to you by St Kilda fans, the ‘F*%!ing traitor’.
Ross Lyon took over the AFL’s most pathetic team, one whose greatest moments involved winning local derbies against the Eagles, and turned it into a ferocious, hungry squad with an incredible will to win, and the best defence since… the Ross Lyon Saints of 2009.
What Lyon may lack in inspiration with regards to offence, he more than makes up for it with his defensive schemes that stifled the life out of countless defences last year.
The preliminary final against the Swans was one of the finest displays of total team defence in AFL history, as every Docker fanatically tackled, smothered, bumped and applied pressure to a besieged Swans team (as the Channel Seven commentary team helpfully pointed out on no less than 10,000 occasions).
The Swans match was amazing, but it may not have even been Ross’s best coaching job of the finals series, with that honour going to his coaching in the Dockers win against all odds down at Simmonds Stadium against Geelong.
Lyon is clearly one of the best coaches going around, all he lacks is that one premiership to lift him up to be regarded as one of the game’s coaching greats.
This Fremantle team on paper isn’t as good as the Swans or the Hawks, as while they have an exceptional and improving midfield and a number of very good key position players, their 16th-22nd best players just aren’t as good as those of the Swans or the Hawks.
But they do have Lyon, who managed to get St Kilda within two lucky bounces of the ball of two premierships while carrying Raph Clarke and Brett Peake on the roster.
If anyone is going to lead the Dockers to that long-awaited premiership, my bet would be on Ross.
Steve J
Roar Guru
Yep - AFL's most pathetic is a cheap, lazy rubbish call. Describing any club as pathetic doesn't show much understanding of football clubs Freo were 1 game away from the GF in 2006, hobbled out of the finals in 2010, and were crueled by injuries in 2011 (although a lot of fans lay the blame at Harvs player management for that) Most unsuccessful in terms of premierships would be accurate .... maybe.... but on what basis? It took Hawthorn 53 years to make their first finals. The Dogs and Saints although having 60 + more years in the comp have only 1 premiership apiece. The Tigers haven't graced the GF stage since the early 80's and went finals-less since 2001 Look at the clubs history (in fact why don't you google Ross Lyons media conference after the finals win against the Cats last year .... and you may start to understand some of the hard facts behind the club)
Lightning Jim
Guest
The coaches rankings are based on last years performance, not long term, Fuzzy Hawk. So looking at last years efforts Hinkley deserves to be ahead of Malthouse. But don't just take my word for it. His fellow coaches voted Hinkley best coach of 2013.
Fuzzy Hawk
Guest
Mr Sparx... Couldn't have said it better myself...You have made alot of sense. Shame about the guy writing the article. Lyon at 1?? What a joke...What about Hinkley in front of Malthouse? Malthouse is a top four coach period...Long time and keeps it fresh...
BBJ
Guest
Clarkson has changed his gameplan to counter changes in the game. The AFL has even made changes to combat Clarkson. In terms of innovation Clarkson is without peer. The problem I have with Lyon is he plays such a low skill game. I love footy but I turn off when his sides are playing as it is a terrible spectacle. Footy does not need guys like Lyon.
D Sparx
Guest
Clarkson is for my money quite easily number 1. All we heard during grand final week was how Freo were going to choke Hawthorn into submission, everyone missed the finest tactic and the genie in Clarkson's bottle. The one tactic no one saw coming, throw Hawthorns four year game plan out the door and crunch Freo using their own style. It's not only a testament of his tactical genius but also his confidence that his playing group were that immensely talented they could pull it off. From the first bounce Freo looked absolutely shell shocked. For much of the game Freo looked like the Swans the week earlier and Hawthorn played as Freo. It is a chess move for the ages. He aslo pulled some cracking tactis in the 08 finals series against St Kilda when for the first time he used Buddy as a decoy and threw Mark 'shotgun' Williams to full forward and he kicked 6. Plus we all know what he did with Dew. Clarkson is tactically the Ghengis Khan of modern coaches. On another note, someone earlier mentioned Swans depth, totally agree. Their depth left during the off season. The entire season and then some relies on all first 22 staying on the park. Any ruptures early will see the bloods bleeding and I predict their will be blood on the floor. This is of course forgetting the sniper like targeting Buddy will get from opposition teams. As much as everyone resepcts the Swans, they all equally detest.
Lightning Jim
Guest
You're a funny boy Franko. Though I must admit there is a bit of truth in what you say about the 4 coaches. Nevertheless they still deserve to be rated as the top 4. Or do they?
No1 coach
Guest
I expect the Cats would have had an extra premiership if Chris Scott had arrived a year earlier as Thompsons mind was clearly elsewhere by then and he was a spent force.. In fact I would go so far as to say the cats built their dynasty despite having Thompson at the helm rather than because of it. Their success had it's roots in smart drafting and building a superior environment to develop players that had even a modicum of talent, then moulding them to play "The Geelong way" and then retaining them all within the cap. A club ethos all about team and sacrifice for the higher goal with a "No dickheads" policy regulated by the leadership group itself. Scott took over when most said they were in decline, he reinvigorated the group and has masterfully staged the retirement of older stars whilst simultaneously developing new ones from lowly draft picks. His win/loss record is peerless. Clearly the No.1 for mine.
bryan
Guest
And wait!-There's more! The Dockers won both Western Derbies in 2006--------WCE's Premiership year!
bryan
Guest
"Most pathetic in the competition"?-----------surely that description would have to be reserved for Melbourne! The Dockers won their fair share of games,even before Ross came here. Those Derby wins weren't against the current lot,but against WCE when they were flying high!. Fremantle's only problem was inconsistency---they would run over "superior" teams one week,then be rolled by some team from the bottom of the ladder,the next Mark Harvey seemed to have the right ideas,but he wasn't scary enough to make them stick!.
Lewis Stewart
Roar Rookie
Ross Lyon, where's all your flags? Just a dig, but seriously, shouldn't amount of flags won be in the critirea? 1. Clarkson 2. Longmire 3. Scotty 4. Maybe Ross, probably not. Should Bomber get a mention? He is coaching this year.
Balthazar
Guest
In terms of coaches I would have Clarko ahead of Ross, particularly as I was puzzled by some of the tactical decisions made by Freo during last year's GF A bit off topic but don't agree that it is a matter that Freo players have grown an extra leg, nor the Eagle-supporting OP's view that Freo was previously a pathetic team (aside from an injury-riddled year in 2011, the team has been gradually improving since 2010). What has happened is that the Freo "babies" have matured - the likes of Fyfe, Hill, Clarke, Walters, C Pearce and Suban are still young in AFL terms, and players like Ibbotson and Mayne are now moving into their prime. The team has also shrewdly brought in mature age player such as Barlow, Mzungu and Spurr and they have excelled. If superstars Pav, McPharlap and Sandi can play more games than last year then they will be hoping for an even better result. I have to disagree that 2014 is there for the Swans to win or lose. Leaving aside their significant injury list last year (and Freo's was just as bad), they did not beat any of the other top 4 and were brutalised in the Prelim by Freo. I think the Prelim result had a lot to do with the Swans injury list but it also had something to do with the fact that Freo's midfield has improved massively over the last 2 years and Sydney's has been worked out. Buddy and Tippett are obviously star recruits but not so effective if Sydney's midfield is no longer so dominant against other teams. The Hawks' midfield also remains very good and the potentially brilliant Collingwood midfield has been udnerperforming. Finally, while I admire your enthusiasm, the issue the Swans may face with its de-listing is that it doesn't now have a lot of depth in a number of positions. I would imagine the club will be praying for example that Mike Pike doesn't suffer any injuries. Given its loss of players, the Swans will not be able to absorb anywhere near as many injuries as last year.
Australian Rules
Guest
No way is Lyon better than Clarkson. As for the other two, they inherited their list and/or culture. For me, Clarkson is the best (and most underrated) coach in the competition. He created the "cluster" in 2008 (a defensive game) to successfully defeat the maraduing Geelong. He then completely reinvented the game plan into a possession-by-foot strategy (an offensive game). He also deliberately recruited along those lines. Lyon can undoubtedly mould a team according to his view, but all his teams are defence defence defence...and that miserly brand of football is yet to produce a flag for Lyon. Until Lyon's strategy can produce a premiership, how on earth is he better than a coach who has 2 flags from 2 different game plans?
Olivia
Guest
I have to wonder about Ross Lyon at no. 1. Lyon is an enigma to me. He seemingly has little clue about creating offensive strategies and his defensive deluges have often been decried by fans and commentators alike, yet he keeps winning matches and getting his teams into the big September show. That is the only objective criteria he needs to meet in a results driven industry such as the AFL and he has done it so often with such unlikely players that it can be no accident, If I am to be fair I must rank him ahead of my beloved and universally respected Horse Longmire (at least til he wins the next two flags) and easily above the brilliant though volatile Clarkson, whom I would have ranked behind Longmire if only on temperament. 2014 is the decider for the four coaches. I expect Scott and Geelong to start the slide downwards into full rebuilding despite having a list of talls other sides would kill for to compliment his brilliant but aging midfield. Clarkson faces some well reported list changes and whilst the force of his personality will keep the Hawks near the top, it will only take a handful of key injuries or form slumps to see them tumble downwards. The enigma who is Ross Lyon must be adored by his players as they all seem to grow an extra leg for him. Maybe and Palmer and friends don't need an extra leg to destroy their opposition so, barring a Swans-like injury list I see them as almost certain Grand Finallists. Then there is Sydney. 2014 is theirs to win, or to lose. If Horse coaches with his usual innovation and understanding, if his new blitzkrieg forward line plays to at least the level of the skill of the sum of its parts and if - BIG if - he can keep his cattle on the park, they should be near unbeatable. Their de listings haven't hurt them, their recruiting again solid (watch out for a kid named Toby Nankervis to have a huge impact at some point of the season) and the senior list is both gilt edged and has young blood coming through to replace established stars. If they win you laud the team, if they lose you blame the coach. Longmire is prepared to wear that, but I don't think they'll lose. What a season it will be.
Franko
Guest
Bah! Scott - Inherited the best side in the land Longmire - Gets additional salary cap, not on a level playing field Clarko - Played crap at the start and let draft picks do the rest Lyon - Leaves clubs worse than he finds them Kidding ;) I couldn't argue too much with your top 4 nor the order in which they are placed, these guys have done well over the journey and will probably continue to do so. I wonder if Clarko is up for rebuilding the side over the next few years as their older players drop off?