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Rankings are fun to make, even – no, especially – when they are made by people who have no idea what they are talking about but still continue to rank based on what they perceive to be good and bad.
Having ranked the 12th to ninth best AFL coaches in yesterday’s piece, today we kick on with numbers eight through five:
8: Damien Hardwick – Richmond (record: 89 games – 39 wins, 48 losses, two draws)
Pros – he finally managed to break the Chris Newman curse and lead the Tigers to the finals for the first time in 11 seasons, playing an exciting and free-flowing brand of football along the way.
Won plaudits for not letting Richmond turn into a basket case as the young players as developed and the older ones retired (people forget many thought the Tigers would go winless for the whole 2010 season).
He seems to have the complete devotion of the playing group, and is a straight talker with anyone who deals with him.
Cons – Okay Damien, you managed to make the finals, and you’re in luck. Instead of an inspired Port Adelaide, you’re playing a Carlton, who needed the goddamn AFL to swoop in and prevent the Bombers to make the finals for them to get in, along with about 9000 other lucky breaks they got in the last round.
Because you’re playing Carlton, the MCG will be packed, so the whole Tiger Army will be there to inspire you.
You’ve got a midfield with Trent Cotchin, Dustin Martin and Brett Deledio, all who can kick goals and deliver lace out passes to your two time Coleman medallist full forward, Jack Riewoldt.
All is set for a memorable win and… you lose.
In the game that mattered more than anything else, you couldn’t find a single method of stopping Nick Duigan, in his second game for the year, and a 30-year-old Chris Judd with only a few strands of tape preventing his shoulders from falling off in the first minute of the match.
Yeah, it may only be one game, but that’s a pretty big con, when your team can’t beat a team you were obviously better than in the biggest game your club has played since the end of the Cold War.
7: Brendan McCartney – Western Bulldogs (record: 44 games – 13 wins, 31 losses)
He has the second worst record among any of the coaches, but what he has done growing the Bulldogs’ list up from the bottom has been truly remarkable.
The Bulldogs won eight games last year, and markedly improved in the back half of the season as his players fully embraced the roles ‘Macca’ had assigned to them.
Every time he has graced the media he’s been a class act, and his players couldn’t speak highly enough of him.
The Bulldogs’ list still has a long way to go before it can again contend for a flag, but with McCarthy at the helm they are definitely heading in the right direction.
6: Mick Malthouse – Carlton (record: 688 games – 398 wins, 284 losses, six draws)
Mick came into last season with the expectation he would guide Carlton at least into the finals, if not the top four.
Well he managed to do that, but in the least convincing way possible, claiming eighth place by virtue of Essendon being banned and beating Port Adelaide by one point in the final round.
Once they got their though, Mick managed to lead the Blues to a famous elimination final victory, something Brett Ratten failed to do on numerous occasions.
Mick got this high a position by virtue of his reputation, and the probability is he, like every single person associated with Carlton, overrated the list before the start of the season and was too far gone to readjust a game plan, developed for Malthouse’s superior Collingwood sides.
With another season behind him, expect Carlton, and Mick’s coaching performances, to improve markedly, and maybe make the finals on their own merits this time.
5: Ken Hinkley – Port Adelaide (record: 23 games – 13 Wins, 10 Losses)
The coaching revelation of last year as he lead a Port side many people thought should pack up shop and move to Tasmania, such was their awfulness and lack of crowds, into a team that not only made it into finals, but also beat Collingwood away from home in their first finals game since the Power were systematically tortured by the Cats in the 2007 grand final.
Port fans now have a reason to cheer again, and Hinkley is the reason for it.
It now looks absurd it took so long for him to get a head coaching gig, given he applied to every position that opened up with an incredible assistant coaching resume.
The other teams’ loss is Port Adelaide’s gain; expect the Power to improve this season, although their record may drop due to better competition and a harder draw.
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