Hollywood plots afoot in the NRL

It’s often said that there is more drama, excitement and action in sport than there is in movies.

While I certainly agree, it’s also become evident after five rounds of NRL football that there are plenty of rugby league storylines that have synergies with some famous Hollywood movie titles.

Best of all, there isn’t a single, lazy Russell Crowe reference in sight . . .

The Hangover: New Zealand Warriors
I’m almost certain that you’re not allowed to have a premiership hangover unless you actually won the premiership, yet someone has neglected to tell the Warriors.

So far this season, the New Zealand outfit have looked sluggish, lacklustre, and yes, somewhat hungover, with their lowly position of 13th on the ladder actually flattering their performances.

Their slow start has cost Matt Elliott his job, and the Warriors hierarchy must be hoping that a coaching change is the Berocca the team needs to shake off their lethargy.

Up in the Air: The 2014 NRL season
At the start of the season, I struggled to see any team outside of the ‘Big Four’ of the Storm, Rabbitohs, Roosters or Sea Eagles winning the premiership. In fact, I was dangerously close to writing an article about how lopsided the competition was, and how boring the season might be.

I’m glad I held off on that piece, because after five rounds, Melbourne, Sydney and South Sydney are all outside the top eight and look extremely vulnerable, while Manly were absolutely belted by Wests on Sunday afternoon.

Unfortunately for me, one thing I did publish was a prediction that Mick Potter, Steve Price and Anthony Griffin would all be sacked before May. Instead, their teams – the Tigers, Dragons and Broncos respectively – all sit in the top eight, and have had a number of impressive victories.

I’ve never been so happy to be wrong.

Though it’s still early in the season, so far there have been plenty of shocks and surprises, and the competition is completely up in the air. That’s great news for the NRL.

Clueless: Buzz Rothfield
A few weeks ago week, Rothfield announced that Tigers fullback James Tedesco was headed to the Sydney Roosters in a “done deal”.

In his Sunday column, Rothfield then had to retract that statement, while adding that his source had been fired.

Not your finest hour, Buzz.

Catching Fire: Gold Coast Titans
Don’t look now, but the Titans are actually in first place.

It’s hard to believe that there were calls for John Cartwright to lose his job not that long ago, following the Titans’ Round 2 hammering by the Wests Tigers. Since then, the team has caught fire and beaten the Raiders, Cowboys and Storm, and sit alone at the top of the NRL ladder with 8 competition points.

Which means the Jennifer Lawrence movie is probably more apt than the more obvious Remember the Titans, though I’m sure Gold Coast’s early season form is ensuring no one is forgetting them.

Gravity: Melbourne Storm
After starting the year with three straight victories, the Storm have fallen back to earth with a thud over the past two weeks.

First there was a thrashing courtesy of the Bulldogs, which was then followed by Sunday’s controversial two-point loss to the Titans.

Coach Craig Bellamy launched a scathing attack after both losses. The first was directed at his team, when he labelled their last 60 minutes of play against the Dogs as “rubbish”. The second spray was reserved for the referees, whom he called “disgraceful” for the strip penalty that eventually cost the Storm the game versus the Titans.

We’re not done with the movie title analogies just yet, so below are some more, which hopefully shouldn’t need too much explaining:

A History of Violence: Steve Matai
Gone in 60 Seconds: Andrew Fifita’s Bulldogs contract
Dead Man Walking: Peter Sharp
The Third Man: Sam Thaiday
Dog Day Afternoon: Joel Monaghan
Stand By Me: Steve Price
Grumpy Old Men: Ricky Stuart and Mal Meninga
The Departed: Sonny Bill Williams, Sam Burgess and now, Matt Elliott
Great Expectations: Luke Brooks
There Will be Blood: DonnyBrookvale – The Battle of Brookvale
Superbad: The NSW Blues recent Origin track record
Kill Bill: Bob Fulton, Bill Harrigan, and the cement truck
Immortals: Um . . . The Immortals?
Eyes Wide Shut: Matt Cecchin and Henry Perenara (that one is for Cowboys fans)
A Bridge Too Far: Manly supporters when a game isn’t at Brookvale Oval
Unforgiven: George Piggins
Last Chance Saloon: James Roberts
Back Door to Hell: John Hopoate

And just to finish off, a slightly more cryptic one, The Hurt Locker: Aquila Uate. For those that have seen the movie, Uate could definitely play Guy Pearce’s role. Think about it…

Any of your own to add, Roarers?