Athletes and politics: A perfect match

On Tuesday evening, Beau Ryan, he of Cronulla Sharks and Footy Show fame, shared his thoughts on the current state of Australian politics.

Within 15 minutes, likely following a call from Rabbits Warren explaining that it wasn’t a good look to suggest Tony Abbott was a socialist, the tweet was deleted.

Beau tweeted just after 5pm, when everyone was piling out of work onto buses and trains and checking their twitter feed. Beau knows social media.

Not only did Beau show an incredible amount of understanding and empathy in his tweet, he also joined an elite group of athletes who’ve made the leap into that dastardly, cynical world where intellectual giants roam and the future of this great nation of ours is decided: the sacred realm of politics.

Athletes who transition to the glitz and glamour of politics are often forced to master a wide variety of new skills in order to achieve success, including calling points of order during question time, doing up a tie, and reading.

There have been some mighty athletes who’ve mastered these, and other skills, and transitioned seamlessly from sporting fields, swimming pools and running tracks into the Parliament Houses of various states and territories.

However, I’d like to focus on just a few individuals who have made an indelible mark on Australia’s political landscape.

It’s not well known that John Fahey, who would go on to become Premier of NSW and architect of the Sydney Olympics bid, actually started life as a New Zealander. Reformed of this ailment by playing grade footy for the Canterbury Bankstown Bulldogs, his political achievements are now the stuff of legends.

It’s important to remember that if it wasn’t for the Doggies, Lord John would likely just be another Kiwi living off the golden soil of Australia instead of being in his own country tending to sheep, making incredible wine and listening to Dave Dobbyn and the Herbs ad nauseam.

Glenn Lazarus, affectionately known as ‘The Brick with Eyes’, officially one of the 100 greatest rugby league players of all time, returned to Canberra in July wearing the eye-stinging yellow of the Palmer United Party guernsey as a fully-fledged member of the Australian Senate.

In a sign of overwhelming support, Lazarus was elected with less than 10 per cent of the primary vote… Thanks Queenslanders.

Since stepping into his role of Senator, rumours from Australia’s most soul-destroying city are that Lazzo has been utilising his experience as a rugby league tipster on ABC radio to help out other PUP members, recently providing guidance to colleague Jacqui Lambie on how to handle media interviews.

Of course, not all forays into politics by athletes can be as successful as Lord John or Lazzo’s.

While Beau’s misjudged political tweet was up for 15 minutes and will be forgotten in a couple of days, Big Malcom Meninga’s political career lasted only 28 second but should be remembered forever:

Big Mal might not have been cut out for the day-to-day grind of civil servitude, but there is one athlete above all others who would thrive in the dog-eat-dog world of Australian politics.

The great rugby orator himself, Nick ‘the Honey Badger’ Cummins.

If ever a man was blessed with too many talents, it’s the Honey Badger. Majestic on the rugby field, eloquent and forthright off it, with the looks of a Judge Reinhold character in an 80s movie, Cummins ticks all the boxes.

He grew up in Logan City in Queensland, so still being alive proves he’s a tough character, and he’s a man of convictions clearly unafraid to speak his mind.

With training, his silver tongue could become forked, ready to turn a phrase and skewer his opposition in Parliament à la Paul Keating or Peter Costello.

There are too many politicians these days with no life experience. The Honey Badger’s entire life is an experience.

He is a man of the people and, I have no doubt, for the people. I don’t know what his politics are, and frankly I don’t care. All I know is I’d vote for the Honey Badger.

Who would you vote for?