Official Australia vs Zimbabwe report card

Here is the official report card from Australia’s clash with Zimbabwe in Harare. Australia ran over the top of the Zimbabweans thanks to some fireworks from Glenn Maxwell.

Phil Hughes: A-
Australian fans who had recently boarded the Phil Hughes bus after his batting heroics for the proud nation of Australia A finally got their chance to see the great man in action. And, even better, it was during both the first and second drinks break.

Despite Shane Watson treading on a ball, Michael Clarke succumbing to a back injury and David Warner’s impending fatherhood, the Australian selectors decided that a team containing eight bowlers was the correct balance to take on the tenth ranked ODI team in the world.

At last check, Hughes had carelessly failed to take a seven-fer during his Australia A appearances.

So he performed twelfth man duties. Although, according to those lucky enough to partake in the refreshments prepared by Phil, they were ‘unorthodox, but high quality, first class beverages’.

Commentary Box Windows: D
Late in the Australian batting innings, Mitchell Johnson senselessly launched a ball through the window of the commentary box, shattering it all over commentators who had never plugged a single episode of The Block.

While shattered commentary windows are the biggest threat facing international cricket today, the incident gave Darren Lehmann a chance to show off yet again his even-handed coaching style.

When Dave Warner punched Joe Root, he was immediately sent to Zimbabwe as punishment for the remainder of that tour. Mitchell Johnson’s glassing of a commentator means he will also remain in Zimbabwe for the remainder of this tour. Great to see consistency from Boof.

Glenn Maxwell: C+
After relatively sluggish top order batting, Glenn Maxwell came in and showed everybody what was possible if you were willing to stride to the crease and immediately bat like a possessed demon.

He’d spoken of a ‘mystery shot’ before the series, something that will hopefully become as much an annual tradition of shameless fabrication as Warne’s early summer mystery ball claims.

But there was nothing mysterious about what Maxwell was doing as he walloped along at two runs per ball. The only real mystery was why he bothered getting out. For just when one suspected he might bring up his ton with a reverse slog sweep helicopter shot over, say, deep square leg, he somehow conspired to get himself caught on the boundary for 93. Presumably trying to hit a seven.

However, Maxwell’s inability to capitalise on his starts and his failure to face even fifty deliveries remains the most disappointing part of his game. Must try harder.

Side note: Now that Johnson has given him the idea, I fully expect Glenn Maxwell to scone the next commentator who calls him ‘The Big Show’. Looking at you, James Brayshaw.

The Mitches: B+
Having made 350 batting first, it didn’t take too much cock-eyed optimism to believe that if Australia stuck to their bowling plans and fielded like panthers, they might just defend the total.

Australia opened the batting with two Mitches – Starc and Johnson. They also had a third Mitch in their bowling line up, as well as Kane Rich-(sounds like Mitch)-ardson.

Obviously, then, the first wicket fell to a Mitch, precisely as basic probability theory dictated. Zimbabwe fought gallantly thereafter, but Australia always had too many Mitches in their attack for the African team. And with Nathan Lyon also bowling like a virtual Mitch, Zimbabwe succumbed more or less in time for bed.

Which is all one can reasonably ask for of a limited overs game.

So Australia’s excellent 2014 ODI record against teams dressed in red continues. If we have to face Canada during the World Cup, we’re just about ready.