Yes, I am questioning Richie Benaud’s possible return to commentary for the Sydney Test, and yes, I know I’m going to hell for saying this.
Even after a week of reflection following the announcement, hoping I would wake up to myself, my shameful stance still lingers.
We all know why this belief is disgraceful, and that’s because anything that Richie does should never be questioned. After a billion years of dodging winters and setting hearts aflutter – both women and men – he is rightly untouchable.
Such is the cocoon of adoration surrounding his deity status, if Bambi was ever remade with a gory ending for the lead role, people would say, “You can’t do that – that’s like shooting Richie Benaud.”
So yes – cuff me up for pumping a delicate leg-spinning deer fulla’ lead, and then charge me with contrarian views on a positive Benaud yarn. I know I’m a very, very bad man, and that these actions jeopardise any chance of having the doyen voice the trailer for my proposed biopic (the obvious choice after settling on a release date of 22/2/22 at 2:20).
If it’s any consolation, my radical, uncool, unAustralian and un-cricket viewpoint is made with the man’s best interests at heart.
Like everyone, when I heard that he might be hauling himself off the sickbed and back in to transmission to give the people and David Gyngell what they want, I was giddy. I had longed for a hit of Rich to break up the muppetry served to us through the hit and giggle, so anticipation levels were high.
Then I saw him.
Watching him as he shuffled around Nine’s season launch, I was shocked, and that’s even allowing for the fact I was looking at Richie Benaud. I know the debonair stud fronting the styrofoam Nine backdrop from yore has been gone for some time now, but this was different. To say he was looking and sounding a touch frail would be an understatement.
Obviously there are reasons for this. He’s had a rough trot of late, firstly copping a battering inside the shell of a pre-war model vehicle, and then undergoing treatment for skin cancer, all at the age of 84. So it’s understandable that he’s not going to bound with the litheness of a pre-teen Swedish boy.
So with the silver fox obviously doing it tough, the inevitable question must be asked: why does the man who has given himself selflessly to services in silk tonality need to urgently return to work in such a condition?
Despite years of watching Scrubs and wearing sexy nurse outfits to fancy dress parties, I’m hardly a professor in medicine. However, I’m pretty certain that barring a short-term miracle recuperation or the reversal of the ageing process before the first ball at Sydney, Richie will be close to the same condition that he was last week – a fair way below 100 per cent.
My highly-honed MD instincts also tell me that going to work is crap when you’re crook, and I’m a 30-something male who defines ‘crook’ as a shaving-related facial injury or any more than three consecutive sneezes.
Taking this in to account, I glean that when you’ve endured something akin to Richie’s recent past, facing the insufferable bluster of Mark Nicholas or the minefield of a motley script for a cross promotion should be considered highly inadvisable. Putting the feet up at home and taking it easy with Daphne over a plate of Arrowroots are thid doctor’s orders.
Put simply, Benaud owes the game nothing and he should be putting himself first in this instance. In addition to this – and again, I know I’m going to hell – I fear the potential for his legacy to be harmed if he gets on the mic in such a condition.
I’m worried that a voicebox rupture or a senior moment could cut short the innings of the greatest broadcaster in sport’s history, meaning he goes out on that well-discussed low that the champions fear when they push themselves one season too far – and that would be tragic.
The Michael Jordan of succinct insight should bow out in sweet-shooting, high-flying, power-dunking championship form, and not by skying a limp fly-ball in the minors. Whether that deserved glorious exit is in the future when he’s feeling much better, or has already occurred, we are yet to see.
In summary, Richie has given more than enough to last us 20 lifetimes and he’s a treasure that requires the ultimate care. Television bosses, the hungry masses, his doctor, and himself need to realise he has nothing left to prove.
So as I board this one-way elevator that sits on the earth’s surface, readying myself to press the button that will plummet me downwards to level 666 for an eternity without air-conditioning, I say this.
Richie: please don’t do it! And are you available in February 2022?
Alex
Guest
The man can do whatever he wants. He should be emperor of this country. Ok, maybe a bit far but do other people feel like he is everyones grandfather, Australia's grandfather?
Paul D
Roar Guru
I'm willing to believe that if Richie appears on Channel Nine this summer it's because he wants to be there.
Silver Sovereign
Roar Rookie
Hey Rickie, how about an authograph?
Anto
Guest
Yeah, he looks frail, but he still sounds sharp as a tack. Bring on the King! http://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=video&cd=2&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0CCIQtwIwAQ&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.skynews.com.au%2Fnews%2Ftop-stories%2F2014%2F11%2F10%2Frichie-benaud-reveals-cancer-battle.html&ei=NwBwVM2BDOPcmgWHzoDABg&usg=AFQjCNHbu9nbiffuV6saCY-dStUE8JE-6A&bvm=bv.80185997,d.dGY
Bob Sims
Guest
Love your article. Shuper shtuff. Well, I'll join join you in that long elevator ride to the basement, Dane! Richie's time is over - anyone who saw and/or heard him recently would be out of their tree to think otherwise. Got 'im!!! But seriously, Richie in his prime was awesome. His prime was gone quite some time ago. No-one wants to watch or listen to someone who is now a mere shell of what he was. Let him go gracefully. By the way, do they play cricket in hell? I'm up for a game!
Jarijari
Guest
No Prof. Rich was a newspaper journo in police rounds, having learnt the trade off some fine Sydney crime reporters in the 1950s. But he never really developed a great flair for writing, even when he switched to the sports pages and wrote fairly standard, usually uncontroversial pieces about the game for various papers around the country. He provided columns for the News Of The World in London for decades right up until it shut down over the phone hacking scandal in 2011. Rich has penned about a dozen books and those I've read were a bit on the dull side, with some anecdotes repeated virtually word-for-word in another title years later. Strange because his brother John was an excellent writer and editor of the Sydney Sun. At the microphone, though, Rich was incomparable.
Spoungeworthy
Guest
Richie is owed at least 4 gold logies...
Ryan Selvage
Roar Guru
I think we need to respect Richie's wishes - clearly he wouldn't be there if he didn't want to be. He loves the sport, he loves the SCG, and i think he'd love to be doing the only thing he's known for such a very long time. Of course, I'm not privy to the back room discussions at Nine though. Whether the bosses had pushed Rich to go around again, well that'd be a different story. But I think we'd all agree that the great man has earned the right to make his own call whether to be there or not, and clearly he has.
Swampy
Guest
Definitely a lot of 'Weekend at Benauds' potential. Surely in this day and age we can just cgi 65 year old Ritchie into the commentary box with a selection of his classic comments at the ready to be inserted appropriately into the running broadcast? This Safe Work Method Statement should be put in place for Ritchie - Hazard - Glenn Maxwell: attempted reverse sweep off first delivery faced with Australia 1-0. Risk Assessment: likelihood - almost certain, consequence - cerebral haemorrhage. Control: not able to be controlled. I actually read once that out of all test matches played by all nations in the entire history of cricket - Ritchie had been a spectator, player or commentator for well over half of them. -- Comment from The Roar's iPhone app.
Professor Rosseforp
Guest
Probably I'll be lambasted for this, but I've never been a fan of Richie Benaud's commentary style. Along with the verbiose boofheads who join him in the commentary box, he's a reason I don't listen to Channel Nein. I think he's unlikely to have a "voicebox rupture" from making quiet statements such as "shot." "out", which is his usual go. I think his written opinion pieces were excellent, and his playing was fantastic. Having said that, I wish him the best of health, and hope that he presses on to triple figures, and continues commenting for as long as he feels able. Respect to him as a man and as an ambassador for the game.
twodogs
Guest
Hi AWD, you're last paragraph hit me hard. It's absolutely telling. Richie is the master of speaking so little yet saying so much. Here now we have a group of morons who bathe in the delight of their own egos, constantly chatter with the most inane input and destroy the viewers enjoyment of the contest. They are so up themselves they must believe the viewers are stupid and think they need to inform us of the little idiosyncrasies or 'special' moments which are painfully obvious and not necessary to mention. Richie does not deserve the indignity of entering the box and sitting alongside any of these hacks. Go to the game Rich and if they can find you a seat worthy of a king and serve you as such then thats the least you deserve.
Jarijari
Guest
McGilvray and Arlott. Pompous farts before they got old.
Atawhai Drive
Guest
Someone had to say it, Dane, and you've said it respectfully. Richie Benaud has earned the right to pull the pin at a time of his own choosing and we just have to hope he chooses wisely. Some other commentators went on too long _ McGilvray and Arlott come to mind _ and there is no need for Richie to join them and possibly tarnish his legacy in doing so. In any case, leaving aside his frailties, why would Richie want to work alongside some of the people who now inhabit the Channel 9 commentary box?
Jarijari
Guest
Rich won't be doing any commentary unless he one hundred per cent wants to and it will be totally his call. And if he does, it will very likely be from home. NIne sport boss Steve Crawley said the other day they hadn't even spoken about it. When he was at the SCG Rich talked about skin cancer and no doubt he'll want to say more about that. And that will be a great thing because he is near enough to being the most respected and trusted person in the country.