Channel Nine's Test commentary should be declared a dead ball

By Coolio / Roar Rookie

For my own sanity, I’ve had to mute the TV while watching Test matches this summer.

In previous years I’d only sometimes done this, because the three or four-second delay between radio broadcast and TV was a little annoying.

But this summer, it feels like someone from Channel Nine has reached out from the idiot box and pushed all my angry buttons.

There’s very little cricket commentary going on in that box at Nine, instead replaced with inane banter and sledging.

We’ve had polls to pick favourite pizzas, daily updates on who’s a Julio and who’s a nerd, and of course more comments about Mark Taylor’s weight, Shane Warne’s dating status, and James Brayshaw’s hair than I care to recall.

The Test match commentary is really just a way of keeping the NRL and AFL Footy Show viewers entertained over summer. Channel Nine has been very successful in dumbing it down to a level it has never been before.

I long for the old days of the decent commentary provided by Bill Lawry, Tony Greig, Richie Benaud, Ian Chappell and the rest. Chappelli must feel a little stupid these days surrounded by the current team, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he finishes up soon. The knives may be sharpening as we speak.

And if Channel Nine don’t start to reign in the randomness of their camera angles, multiple slow motion replays and cross-promotional advertising, it may get to the stage where I have to turn the TV off completely and go old school, with all my cricket via the radio.

Yesterday, while listening to Jim Maxwell and his mates on the ABC, they had a visually impaired man in the studio, commentating for a couple of overs. It was inspirational and refreshing. And you learn so much more. At stumps after listening to Grandstand, you actually feel improved. If you made it to stumps listening to Warnie, Slats, Tubby, Heals and JB, you’re likely to need a panadol and a lie down.

It only feels like yesterday that my summers were spent watching cricket where the commentary on the TV was thoughtful, interesting and fulfilling. It’s a shame that it’s slipped so far so quickly.

The Crowd Says:

2015-11-09T02:02:41+00:00

David russell

Guest


The disrespect shown to the nz visitors by umpires and bowlers (stark) for tail enders is unbecoming and Australian crass.

2015-08-21T10:37:50+00:00

Keith

Guest


My father-in-law is 91 years old and loves his cricket. However, he is sight impaired and finds himself listening rather than watching nine's TV coverage. I would like to highlight to nine's commentators that their coverage often fails to meet the needs of their sight impaired audience. Talking about off field events; past events/games; what they did earlier today; while the game goes on in the background, falls short of the skills of the 'old time' commentators. I know this is not radio, but it is the only coverage of the test available in Australia. More detail please on what the players are doing and less talking between yourself. Remember the sight impaired audience.

2015-03-14T05:35:12+00:00

Kanga

Guest


Mark Taylor. Can you just shut up for ... Say 3 seconds .... Work your way up to say ... 5 seconds... Think about what you have just seen on the ground... Okay No need to tell us ... We saw it too. Don't insult us. We have the tv on We are watching We have our eyes open Kanga

2015-01-16T10:21:24+00:00

Dashman

Guest


No one will need to worry about channel nines commentary in the near future because only those who can afford pay tv will be watching the cricket anyway. All of our other sporting events are being moved over to pay tv and the cricket is slowly but surely making the move too. It will be interesting to see how many kids miss out on Aussie cricket in the future because their mum and dad cant afford to pay unbelieve amounts to watch it on fox. I think we should worry about this more than the commentary tbh. Just my thoughts....

2015-01-13T06:08:14+00:00

Scoot

Guest


Well to be fair even the ABC were without Harsha Bhogle for the second half of the series (and as a result had no visiting commentator at all) though that was more a reflection on STAR India's policy of only having one or a couple of commentators in Australia at a time rotated through the series, because of the rather unique length of this summer's Indian tour, where the hope will be that it lasts well into March, so perhaps this season is a bad one to have been wanting a neutral or visiting commentator. Still as the ABC is an example of, having a neutral or visiting commentator by necessity changes the flow of the discourse and as such is often among the more favoured commentators on a rotation though obviously exceptions exist for instance take Danny Morrison who if he'd been in the Nine box, would have had to go into full IPL mode just to keep up, whereas the completely different pace of being only a special comments guy next the main radio caller meant that he could be more detached and analytical in his commentary (similarly Michael Slater and Damien Fleming are both examples of this as well). I think the problem people find with 9's in comparison to their international counterparts is a reflection on the target audiences of the respective broadcasts. By virtue on Free to Air, 9 in order to justify the commercial does inevitably have to direct itself at broadcasting for an audience that isn't necessarily the cricket die-hard type, so does have to cater its commentary accordingly with stuff that may be of interest more to the casual fan, and that's understandable while other countries by being mostly subscription based platforms can tailor their commentary more to the likely clientele. Still, you might argue that the ABC (as the nationally funded broadcaster) has an even greater responsibility to be accessible to all and not just the most ardent cricket, yet they are generally excellent, perhaps helped by the need to describe things visually which does help break up the flow when things start to get nutty. Even the ABC is in this post Kerry/Roebuck stage a tad too one-eyed for my liking, but I understand that's a personal preference thing though I have really enjoyed Jarrod Kimber and the commentator they had in the first two tests playing to an albeit altered Roebuck role in quick summation and macro analysis of where the game is at and the next session will go. The one thing that really interests me about Channel 10's broadcast (ignoring Andy Maher's inability to talk in anything other than b grade marketing speak) is how the format of T20 allows for them to get a little more leeway into discourse that would otherwise get Nine in trouble (the Shane Warne tweets, the sledging and irrelevant banter etc) but perhaps this is an illustration of what Nine really lacks. while Mark Howard and Andy Maher aren't great, what they do well is act as facilitators for prodding and changing lines of discussion for the two former players next to them, rather than allowing a la Nine them to egg each other on towards greater and great inanity and cultural cringe. Still I suspect that if Ten had the ODD tournament or tests and ODIs I suspect their commentary style would start to grate us in a very similar way to Nine's

2015-01-12T02:24:15+00:00

Red Kev

Roar Guru


I'm a full time ABC Grandstand cricket listener these days. Although I like to watch the first session (or last session) of weekend day, I can't stomach more than that. It's just too hard to listen to those clowns. Incidentally, even without proper digital radio, you can sync the digital broadcast with the tv by using your mobile and wifi connection - since the mobile browser won't play the sound while browser is closed but only pauses the stream. It takes some trial and error, but 5 minutes of that gives you a solid day's play without the muppets on tv.

2015-01-12T02:23:25+00:00

Pope Paul VII

Guest


I don't know what you can do, as they have a captive market. It's all a matter of taste I suppose but Channel 9 appear to have a certain style in mind and it lacks spontenaity. For what it's worth Ed Cowan is the man they need. Very quick and funny. Also Punter, June and Gilly are killing it on10. And I like everyman types like Andy and Howie having a crack next to living legends. Mel is also doing a top job and given a proper role rather than the unfortunate Ch 9 girls who have to fluff around at tea time.

2015-01-12T02:10:05+00:00

Pope Paul VII

Guest


Regardless of what happened in his personal life, Roebuck was a gun cricket commentator.

2015-01-12T01:46:28+00:00

Raymond Bullock

Guest


What CH9 need to do is have experienced international cricket commentators come to run the TV commentary, leaving the likes of slater.taylor,healy,warne,brayshaw,lee to minor cameo roles. It's as simple as that.

2015-01-12T01:39:16+00:00

Raymond Bullock

Guest


You can't be serious. If you think what is dished out each day by the CH9 cricket team is up to scratch (apologies to Nicholas , Chappelli ) then maybe unfortunately there is a problem there. It is downright shocking. So are your thoughts on the cricketing public.

2015-01-12T01:27:41+00:00

Raymond Bullock

Guest


he's from WA unfortunately. A real shaky legged player for WA then got booted out to SA.

2015-01-11T10:43:31+00:00

The Electronic Swagman

Guest


I thinlk Roebucks commentary was sublime. As for the unprovcen allegations they are, well, unproven allegations.

2015-01-11T02:43:25+00:00

Trigger

Guest


The problem with the channel 9 team is they talk about crap rather than the cricket ,abc and 2ue are much better

2015-01-10T11:18:47+00:00

Doc79

Roar Rookie


How bout the roar give a platform for all the roarers out there to commentate the tests on a rotation basis in real time? I too am sick of the tripe offered up by nine (no offence intended chappelli, don't touch that razor blade, we share your disbelieving ears!)

2015-01-10T10:57:37+00:00

Cadfael

Roar Guru


The problem with Taylor, Slater, Healey et al is they don't realise it is television. We can SEE what is happening. On radio they have to describe the positions, the shot, the bowler, as Blowers says, he is painting a verbal picture for his audience. We don't need that on television. As Richie used to say, if you don't have anything sensible to say, say nothing that's why he was so good.

2015-01-10T10:53:59+00:00

Cadfael

Roar Guru


There is no issue with the foundation or pink day. I raced home and turned the tv on for the post lunch session which didn't start because of the formalities. They could have gone into these straight away during the lunch break which would have been far better than watching Taylor do his walk.

2015-01-10T10:50:43+00:00

Cadfael

Roar Guru


It was interesting that Nine didn't have Smith on tv. He has caused problems in the past with his complaints about spider cam. At one stage they had to park it at the end of the ground while he was batting. I do agree, spider cam brings nothing to the game and it is annoying to be watching on television and this "thing" floats across the screen.

2015-01-10T10:46:23+00:00

Cadfael

Roar Guru


A summer job for the AFL host.

2015-01-10T10:43:23+00:00

Cadfael

Roar Guru


I have no time for Clarke. When he retires, definitely but what criticisms will he make about players, umpires, tactics, wickets. Zilch because he's on CA';s payroll. You don't bite the hand that feeds you. I don't restrict this to Clarke. Listen to or read articles from current players and coaches in cricket, league, football, AFL and none will say anything criticising current players, coaches or the organisation. Look at the trouble Lynn is in over his comments about Channel 10.

AUTHOR

2015-01-10T10:24:42+00:00

Coolio

Roar Rookie


I didn't know Barnes, Hyde and Anderson played Aussie Rules? lol!

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