The Carlton Football Club. So baffling a disposition it would be beyond the worldly skill of Angus MacGyver of MacGyver fame.
So disappointing, so underperforming, if the club was a run of the mill mid-sized business, there should have been an office fire there years ago.
The Blues are renowned for being one of the great inner-city powerhouses in one of the premier domestic football codes in the world. Talk of the ‘Big 3’ combines them along with Collingwood and Essendon. Over 40 per cent of the league’s flags were won by these three alone.
The Dons, almighty in the 80s, the Baby Bombers then saluted in 1993. At the turn of the century, a dynasty promised – but only one cup was won. The Pies, ‘Colliwobbles’ for decades, took out the flag in 1990 and then recently rose to the 2010 title in impressive fashion.
Meanwhile, the winds of cheating, failure and damn right discombobulation have howled profoundly through the stands at Princes Park over the last 25 years.
Even the likes of Melbourne the Western Bulldogs, notorious for their lean history and perennial underdog status showed promise and a positive future this past weekend, the old dark Navies turned up last Thursday, but only literally, the scoreboard and effort suggests besides.
Carlton was a force as recent as the 1980s. Premierships won, glory was easy, they were top dog and this scribe acknowledges rightly so. Their first grand final appearance in the AFL-era was in 1993, losing to adolescents wearing red and black. Was Sheedy a mastermind or did the opposition let an easy one slip?
Two years later, success – the club’s sixteenth crown, the most in the AFL. History will tell us though success is easily bought when you’re spending more on player wages than James Hird would on legal expenses.
Since 1995, the silence is deafening. The records state they were present at the MCG for the grand final of 1999, but many who were can’t categorically acknowledge their presence.
21st century, we’re 15 years in, surely a club as mighty and as alpha male as Carlton, one who’d never sell their jumper to promote a popular cinema snack food changing the food dye, would’ve greeted the judges and held aloft the cup once more?
Not even close.
Brendan Fevola blew in, then blew over .05 at the Brownlow, then blew out, to Brisbane, then rehab. He was a star on the field but strong leadership prevented him from truly being a cornerstone of eventual team success.
Chris Judd, the messiah, sold to Carlton by a man rich off producing cereal boxes, won a Brownlow but despite his greatness has never looked like being the final piece to which he was intended. Moreover, given the tragic plight of his former teammates post-careers, was he eager to return to Melbourne and ultimately Carlton or simply happy to leave the rocky culture of the Eagles?
Season after season, wooden spoon after wooden spoon, more kitchenware was accrued by the Blues in that period than the producers of Masterchef and My Kitchen Rules combined.
But with utter failure comes highly prized talent through the draft, and repeated utter failure surely exacerbates the turnaround, team success then must only be a moment away?
Marc Murphy, Josh Kennedy, Matthew Kreuzer, Bryce Gibbs, all number one or priority picks in the space of three years. Since joining the club they have won only two finals, once legitimately in 2011, another two years later because Essendon’s lack of governance handed them a free-hit at Richmond who then subsequently defecated the bed.
Kennedy leaving the club left a gaping hole, however with coach Mick Malthouse getting Dale Thomas as the free agent du jour to fix that five-year hole in the goal square suggests genius. No not genius, the opposite of genius in fact.
Malthouse will break the games-coached record in May and that’s wonderful, a huge achievement. However, the man whose record he breaks, Jock McHale, coached nine premierships. Malthouse, just the three.
Two with the West Coast, simply the Western Australian state side in different clothing, and one with Collingwood who arguably did so with talent so rich any cultural issues that should have been a problem couldn’t disrupt their on-field success.
A tremendous win-loss record warrants respect. And it rightly does. But should he have won more premierships? Was his recruitment as the coach to take the Brett Ratten side from finals to grand finals based on a misread resume and inflated reputation?
Carlton haven’t looked likely for years and of all the teams who missed the eight last year, if you remove those who are respectfully bottoming out to rebound once more and those who are genuinely on the way back up, Malthouse’s men are in neither basket – which would worry any supporter greatly.
To which, if we go back to the notion of the big clubs, how can Carlton have got it so wrong? Collingwood, an off-field juggernaut, they possess superior membership figures to anyone else. Essendon, despite the scandals and setbacks still receive significant fiscal support from their supporters. Richmond, Hawthorn, they too attract big membership bases.
Carlton, that great inner-city powerhouse, barely strikes half the membership numbers of those listed above. Either their supporter base is grossly over exaggerated or, if it is to be as big as they boast, they are so disenchanted, disengaged or confused they don’t feel the need or want to put their hand in their pocket to support the cause. Either way, it’s a concern and an indictment on those involved.
Malthouse avoids some criticism for his team’s lacklustre exploits because of the side show he creates through his dealings with the media, such with Mark Stevens who has gone from reputable journalist to a reality television prima donna just for the sake of an awkward news grab.
Their list looks poor, their off-field leadership looks no better and they have avoided the scrutiny they properly deserve. They have only raised one cup in anger since 1987 and there’s a giant asterisk on that. Their supporter base refuses year after year to chip in and with what excuse?
Plenty of excuses in fact. They boast in their club song that they are the team that never lets you down, sorry boys and girls, this club has forged a 25-year habit of doing just the very opposite, and good luck with that changing any time soon.
damo
Guest
Didn't even read the whole article. Rude ? No, I just agree & don't need to inspect every leak in our sinking ship to know that the water over the deck is a bad sign. We can't get Ratten back, not yet, probably not ever, so that's gone. A few years from now Malthouse will have to retire & from there, we will be able to start again.
Alex L
Roar Rookie
So what, Kennedy ruined another weak defence. He will also pretty much never kick more than 2 goals against a top 8 side -- he just goes missing in the games where his team needs him to step up.
The Original Buzz
Guest
JMW - I agree with your comment 100%. " I'm tired of hearing about the past glories. They have no currency and the current performance tarnishes the past achievements in any event." They really don't have any currency.
JMW
Guest
Check the scoreboard Alex. I puked when they gave him up after 22 games! I thought Kennedy was the best recruit Carlton had made since Kernahan. I've never really rated Judd and I don't rate messiah recruiting strategies. I like my eggs spread around, like Hawthorn and Geelong. Chancho, I'm not excited about Silvagni's return. He was part of the salary cap cheating and squealed to save his own skin. He has cachet as you call it because the rich elite fawn all over him. All of the cheats should be expelled. Cleanse the club of cheats and chronyism, nepotism and any other ism. I'm sick of it. My adult daughters couldn't care less about them. I'm tired of hearing about the past glories. They have no currency and the current performance tarnishes the past achievements in any event. They demand blind loyalty and give nothing in return. If you kick in out of your pocket they ask for more. I don't see any improvement happening any time soon. Winter would be very cold without the Melbourne Storm!
Alex L
Roar Rookie
Richmond is not the blue print for recruiting, they've essentially recruited in a way that gets them into the bottom half of the 8.. but also keeps them there.
Gecko
Guest
A bit puzzling that so many people seem to think Carlton's problems are with the coach and management. These may or may not be problems but they're not the main problem. Nobody's gonna get success with such a poor playing list. Chancho's right. The Blues have been soft for years. Murphy's mentally tough but not aggressive. He should be the icing, not the Captain. But it's not just the lack of leadership (besides Judd). Carlton's recruiting this century has been poor. Richmond turned its recruiting around and is now back in the top half. Carlton needs to turn its recruiting around, starting with top dollar for an established big-bodied runner who has an physical presence (no, I don't mean Mitch Robinson).
Pope Paul vii
Guest
Just get the old Navy blue on and we might hate them proper.
Bobbo7
Guest
Guy I know is a member but he reckons the club is poor with members and it is just cash for minimum effort type arrangement. Sounds like there are a lot of issues
Doc Disnick
Roar Guru
Don, this article is half about reminiscing and the other half questioning. Why question a club after round 1? Speculate all you like and to be honest, I probably think they are bottom 4 material, but hold off at least for 7 rounds before serving up these articles please. Come round 8 you can usually pick at least 6 teams that are going to make the finals. It's also the same time you can start picking who is going to be sacked next.
Chancho
Roar Rookie
I have a few mates (and brothers-in-law) who are Blues fans, and the one thing I constantly hear is that 'they're too soft', which I agree with... so you think they need a stern coach who's going to set the discipline as well as one who is strategic... but the thing is, don't they have this in Malthouse? Isn't he renowned for that? You'd think they have all the resources at their fingertips and should be able to turn it around. Totally agree that it's only one round down etc, but this really does look to just be a continuation of 2014 for them which is not a good thing
Chancho
Roar Rookie
JWM what do you think of the move to have Silvagni back at the club? I understand he's more involved in list management, but do you not think he'd be an ideal candidate to re-model the list or one of those types to roll-up their sleeves? He obviously has a hefty cachet within the CFC. I do totally agree with you on the management of the club for a while now its been pretty bad and seems to attract all the wrong types as well
Andrew
Guest
He is probably a gloating Richmond supporter putting salt on the wound.
Nicko
Guest
The implication from the wrier of the article is that Carlton is in need of a massive and complete rebuild: coach; support staff; front office and, obviously, better recruiting. In other words, a complete bottoming out. The main problem with that is that it will exacerbate the lack of financial support that they will receive and the level of membership expected. Do they bite the bullet once and for all and basically start from scratch and accept that their membership will continue to dwindle while they rebuild the Club? Tough call. One presumes that Malthouse will not coach next year. Surely he couldn't...Obviously getting the right person to replace him will be critical. Someone of the calibre of Bomber Thompson would be needed in order to gain both the respect of the players and get the membership to buy in to a few years of poor performances while they sort themselves out. Roos is doing just that at Melbourne.
The Original Buzz
Guest
Bolton would be good, I would like to see Ratten back at the reigns. I would take a rookie coach and give them all the support they need. Given that a few have fallen in recent years, look at the circumstances behind the sackings. Ratts did really well for Carlton and I think he would succeed if he came back now. Trigg did a lot of good for the Crows and has a good business head on his shoulders, happy to have him on board even though he did get involved in shady dealings on one occasion. I think we do have the cattle on the park, just need a coach who can do the job.
The Original Buzz
Guest
Two now.
adam
Guest
Carlton were not over the salary cap in 1995. The only side to be found guilty of a salary cap breach in a premiership year is Essendon. Granted, 1 premiership in 25 years is poor. But they are proving very hard to win. Only 7 teams in the past 15 years have tasted success.
Alex L
Roar Rookie
You think Kennedy for Judd was a bad trade? Seriously? Kennedy is and always has been a rocks and diamonds forward who bullies weak defences but goes AWOL against good sides, Judd is one of the best players of the last decade.
MickyC
Guest
Amen JMW. CFC is not a billionaires plaything. I'd rather have people with real passion and business acumen running the club. Perhaps the recent changes are those we've been pining for off the field. I hope this is the case although fear it's more big wigs and back scratching. As for on the field we don't have a chance in hell of winning a flag with the current list. We need to rebuild. We can't rebuild with a 62 year old coach. I don't want to scapegoat Mick but facts are facts. We simply will not go anywhere on the field with the cattle we have and we need to start afresh. We can't start a 3 - 6 year rebuilding phase with a senior coach who potentially be 68 years old at the time we hope to be peaking.
Don Freo
Guest
Wouldn't it be really gutsy to re-appoint Ratts? The problem is, he has discovered that working at a functional club is enjoyable.
Don Freo
Guest
Geez, JMW! That makes me sad. I'm going to stop mocking them...at least until Macca makes his third comment. You are on two already Macca. But, the idea of members running their own club...I like it. It used to happen once.