With the A-League grand final in the past and that other great competition the Eurovision Song contest front and centre in our thoughts, now seems like an opportune time to reflect on the basic tenets of our great game – the rules and regulations.
Anyone wanting the bring about a rule change in football faces an uphill battle. It’s no easy task to convince over 200 member nations representing about five billion people that the game they love should be changed.
Still, changes have happened. Way back at the very start the Blackheath club walked away from association football because the new body refused to allow hacking.
Rules relating to back-passes, the amount of time a goalkeeper can hang onto the ball, and changes to interpretations of the offside rule have generally sped up the game.
There have been some bizarre rules too. In a previous incarnation, American soccer invented a shootout system to resolve any drawn match. It involved a single attacker trying to dribble around the keeper from 35 yards out before the shot clock ran out.
As changing football rules by committee is so difficult I have declared myself as a dictator of football. In this capacity I would make the following changes to the game.
Bring back the golden goal
I must be in the minority because most people on football forums sneer at the golden goal rule to decide knockout matches. I don’t know why. There is something sensual about the match being decided by the climax of a sudden death-goal.
Without golden goals there is always the chance that the team who falls behind in extra-time can equalise and force the game into a penalty shootout.
If both teams score an equal amount of goals in extra-time, say one match in every ten, then the golden goal rule reduces the amount of games decided by penalty shootouts by ten percent. Surely that’s a good thing right?
Loosen the nets
One of the great joys of football watching in the 70s and 80s was the sight of the ball literally bulging in the back of the net. Goal nets were loose and piled up like grandma’s curtains.
When a ball hit the back of the net it stayed there. There was always that lovely moment when a defender or goalkeeper would fight their way Frodo Baggins-like through the web of cordage to retrieve the ball.
Sometimes just to add to the humiliation of conceding the goal, the defender might get their boot caught in the net and require extricating by other red-faced defenders.
These days the nets are so tight that the ball rebounds like a cannon, placing attackers at risk of injury. Half the time I can’t tell if a goal was scored or not.
Loosen the ‘auld onion bags I say.
Time pieces
I have been watching some of the Stanley Cup and NBA playoffs. The Americans are precise when it comes to timing. In fact in the last minute of a game they even keep count of tenths of seconds. Everyone in the stadium and millions more watching on TV can tell exactly how long there is to go.
Not so in football. Around the 44th minute mark of the half, the fourth official picks the electronic board and half-heartedly punches in a two or a three depending on his mood. With all the modern goal-line technology you would think football authorities could introduce precise electronic clocks in the stadiums so we know exactly how long there is left.
Dawdling substitutes
Don’t you just hate it near the end of a game when the coach makes a substitution and the player dawdles off like he is out for a promenade on St Kilda beach.
Admittedly if it’s a Sydney FC player I don’t have a problem with it, but if it’s the other team it makes my blood boil. Why can’t they jog off like they did in my junior days?
To fix this problem I would give the referee the power to dish out a yellow card to the player being replaced. Or maybe using the old “sins of the fathers” maxim (currently applied when the nearest player in a defensive wall cops a yellow) the substitute could be given the yellow card as soon as he steps on the field.
Better still the referee could be equipped with one of those electric cattle prods.
Imagine this exchange:
– Mr Janko are you taking your time to leave the field?
– Ja!
– Well cop this – bzzzzzzz
– Aaaagh!
– That’ll learn ya
So that’s what I would change. There are some other issues that you may consider:
The use of technology for offsides
Retrospective yellow cards for simulation
Score 1 point for missing a goal (hey that’s already been done)
Larger goals to produce higher scoring matches. No joke, this was suggested by none other than Pele some years back
Reintroduce hacking
If granted supreme power, what changes would you make?
Chris
Guest
my first penalty shoot out i remember was baggio missing in the world cup and then getting crucified for it despite spending the week previously playing so brilliantly. him and his stupid hair i loved him haha
Chris
Guest
what on earth games are you watching that call them pens? i have never heard that from anyone anywhere. your second rule change i think is just horrid, if you are good enough to sheperd the ball away from players and hold the ball in a corner of the pitch you should be able to. you are allowed to use the entire pitch, the opposition should be good enough to get the ball off you. negative play is not necessarily a bad thing, chelsea against barcelona a few years ago was completely negative play, they totally parked the bus but it was one of the best displays of team defending i have ever seen. the discipline it takes to control the ball whilst playing negatively i think is a talent as good as any. if you want fast paced and all out attack watch futsal or something but football is about attacking and defending in equal measure we have to respect the skills needed in both.
Chris
Guest
whats the point of splitting the yellow cards? is it just for those watching to know whats happening cause i cant see a reason otherwise and even then you do find out pretty quickly why someone is carded
Chris
Guest
im kind of worried about the number of people who are wanting to change half a dozen or more things. maybe football isnt really for you if you want to change so many different things.
cm
Guest
I think that was kind of the point wasn't it. Penalties are just an idiosyncrasy.
bryan
Guest
How about a system where an attacker kicks on goal,a defender sends the ball out of play,& the attacking team get another attempt on goal from the corner? Of course,"corners" are a quite legitimate peculiarity of Football. "Point posts" are just as legitimate in "Australian Football"------just a peculiarity of that game,like the basket in Basketball,,the crazy names for Fielding positions in Cricket,& so on!
bryan
Guest
In fairness,Bondy hasn't used the term "AFL" at all,that was Hulk! Actually,Hulk,umpires don't bounce balls much these days,,if that was what you were referring to!
Batou
Guest
I think that there is scope for whinge #5 to be significantly expanded... Some of my pet hates include: * 'there or there abouts,' typically used in the context of 'XXXX club will be there or there abouts at season's end.' * Robbie Slater saying after every missed shot that 'he's gone for power/control there when he probably should have gone for control/power.' Thanks for the deep insights Robbie. * Lucy Zelic's interviews. Good interviewers manage to ask probing questions to get interesting answers out. She asks questions that can pretty much only be answered with 'yes' or 'no.' "Tough game there. You were leading for most of the match only to let them equalise through a defensive error at the death. You mustn't be happy with that" followed by "ahh, yeah. Not happy at all." Brilliant. * pretty much anything that Andy Harper says. I do however admire his excitement. He would probably be great if he were speaking a language that I didn't understand. * Fozzie lecturing why everyone should play like Spain and how Adelaide are playing the correct way in the post match wrap up after Adelaide have just been smashed. * People whinging about David Basheer. I reckon he's pretty good actually. If he could stop getting Malik and Mabil mixed up then I'd take out the 'pretty' and just rate him as good.
albatross
Roar Pro
Mister Football said: "I would vote for such a structure." But how can you have a Round of 1 and still call it a World Cup?
cm
Guest
Yes Rick. It's decidedly unfair. The final result often doesn't reflect the relative ability of the sides competing. This is one of the things that make it great. As a wsw fan I can safely say we should never have beaten Al hilal. But we did. It's a game of small margins and often luck comes into it. So, after 2 hours of play, it seems fitting to me that it comes down to something as cruel as the shootout where the bestest team might not win. Ideally it would be a replay in my book. But television has ruled this out. A result is needed. Thing is though it's still not 100% luck. You can practice. It is a skill - in front of goal face to face with the keeper - anyone who's played knows that regardless of whether it's a penalty situation - which, by the by, does also occur in the game itself - you need technique and nerve to score. And so these aspects are revealed. I'll never forget watching from the gods the Uruguayans take their penalties with schwarzer standing stock still as they hesitated. I knew they were broken before the saves. And what could be more tense and nerve racking than standing arm in arm with strangers hoping and praying.... madly calculating a la fozzie " are you sure? Are you sure? " Any solution to find a winner is going to be not reflective of a real game somehow. I have no problem with the quick succession. It's the endgame. The result of not winning. I used to hate them because they were cruel. It seems to me that most people who don't like them feel they are unfair... that being the case, why not just settle the game on paper before hand. Which is the better team, who has the better record, just let them go through. No. Football, like life, can be cruel, unfair, not make sense. The shootout is a culmination of that. I love it.
Hulk
Guest
Jesus this is akin to asking "like why do they bounce the ball in afl? I mean, no one likes bouncing the ball, so why don't they spin it on their heads instead?" Painful reading. And yes SVB you're right. Penalty shootouts are awesome. They suck. But they're awesome. Anyone who doesn't get that, doesn't get football.
MarkfromCroydon
Guest
In high level professional leagues only. (because they could have the resources to implement) 1.make off-side totally up to a video linesman. Play on unless the video linesman alerts the ref by his radio earpiece that there has been an offside offence. 2. Split the yellow card into 2 separate cards, yellow for fouls that have the potential to injure players, and blue for dissent, time wasting or other unsportsmanlike actions that wouldn't cause injury. Any combo of 2 cards = a red and off. Toughen up the disciplinary system so that a yellow card is a report and automatically assessed by a tribunal (or MRP) eg. a bad yellow might attract a 1 week suspension. In other words, give more protection for the ball players.
SVB
Guest
Rick It's about getting a result, and not having to wait an eternity to get one. End of story. Whether people like it or don't like it, or find it cruel or entertaining is really irrelevant in the broad scheme of things. It serves the purpose. Like football itself, the beauty of it is that it is simple and gives you a result. Maybe if the sport needed supporters we could dream up some system of 'entertaining' people, but somehow I think this is not required. Leave that to other sports.
Bondy
Guest
Rick Disnick I think it was deemed as no other option " the shoot out " player fatigue after 2 hours of play I'd assume they've deemed it not fair to continue to run them around for another half hour subsequently the shoot out ensues, its interesting to note too that at times players stop trying to win with 5 -7 mins of that additional time and wait for the shoot out which I dont like .. I dont mind the old going up and sitting in the death seat " the shoot out" ...
Mister Football
Roar Guru
I still remember the first penalty shoot-out I ever saw. In fact, it was the very first penalty shoot-out to ever occur in the World cup - the famous 1982 semi-final between France (the last of the romantics) and West Germany (who didn't need a moniker, they were just West Germany). I touch on this game in an article I wrote about Uli Stielike earlier thisyear: http://www.theroar.com.au/2015/01/18/uli-stielike-and-that-penalty-miss-from-1982/ Yes, that game had it all, and the World Cup's first-ever penalty shoot-out was memorable. But...33 years on, and every third sudden-death game ends up this way, and for me at least, a while back my reaction started to become: groan - not another penalty shoot-out?? KMN It's old had now. It's dull and boring and it is not the way to determine who the best team is. I don't care whether penalties are easy or hard, whether the players need to grow a pair, or whatever, it's not the game - the actual game has finished.
Doc Disnick
Roar Guru
So let me get this straight... cm - you find football unfair. Don't really know what to say about that, so I won't say anything. I agree with you though, the game is about goals. It's just not about 4 or 5 balls passing the goalkeeper in quick succession - most of which is luck in my opinion. I know some will disagree, but there is no way of practicing a penalty shoot-out, nor are there enough shoot-outs for a team to become great it it relative to another team. It's just luck and for a game that prides itself on being the most skilful game in the world...well it's just an embarrassing way to decide a stalemate. Batou, you don't like them either and SVB you find them cruel. I kind of get the feeling everyone in this discussion seems to not like penalty shoot-outs. Am I missing something here? Because I've never actually met someone who does like them. I still think my idea (or some variation of it) would beat the living pants out of a shoot-out for both theatre and tension. I could be wrong, but I wish someone would try it.
SM
Guest
And here you are, a non-football fan, lurking and waiting for any slight mention of the AFL.
cm
Guest
Evan Evan Evan! West Ham's last European trophy....
cm
Guest
If I had to make a change I'd make the shootout a bit more like ice hockey and have them dribble from halfway. But I'm fine with it as is.
Batou
Guest
No theatre? No tension? Have you never watched a shootout Rick? Sure if that was all there was to a game then it would be boring as you say, but at the end of a hard fought match in which neither team had prevailed after two hours, it is extremely tense. I don't like them as such and would like to see a concept based on players being gradually removed trialed at least, but penalty shootouts do have heaps of tension and drama.