I say the Springboks will play in the Rugby World Cup grand final this year. Our dear friend Biltongbek says the Boks won’t make it that far. We have a lot riding on this friendly wager.
A big bag of the best biltong from the north: marinated, dried, cured, spiced delicious meat, according to Biltongbek’s secret recipe, accompanied by copious volumes of Namibian beer.
Versus a big clean yellowfin caught off the Cape and ice-packed to Johannesburg, paired with a dry Boland sauvignon blanc.
So far in 2015, biltong appears to be beating the fish.
Heyneke Meyer is the Goldilocks of world rugby: his teams are too old or too young, but never just right.
Biltongbek has powerful arguments. Jean de Villiers is playing Currie Cup, which means one of the sensational young Bok centres is probably going to be unlucky. Victor Matfield isn’t on the field and his heir apparent, Pieter-Steph du Toit, is where he always is: the physio room.
Jaque Fourie is piling up yen and not in the gym. Andries Bekker won’t play for his father’s Boks. Willem Alberts crushed his own bones, while his starting loose forward mates, Francois Louw and Duane Vermeulen have both had neck surgeries.
Jannie du Plessis has defended his tighthead jersey, and one of his challengers, Vincent Koch, just broke a rib.
Willie le Roux can’t tackle a front rower even with 15 metres of anticipation. Cornal Hendricks is afraid of the high ball and Julian Savea.
Bryan Habana has lost three steps, and grown the least intimidating hairdo in world rugby. Handre Pollard is a rare talent, but still hasn’t learned to control a game like Jonny Sexton.
The only young scrumhalf blooded, Cobus Reinach, acts before he thinks, Ruan Pienaar thinks a minute before he acts, and Fourie du Preez seems to get injured if he drinks a latte wrong.
The Boks just lost to Australia and New Zealand, their most likely knockout opponents, and Meyer’s diagnosis for the first loss was: “Victor would’ve won it” and the second post mortem was “Lood could’ve won it.”
So, what do you think, Roarers?
Will I be trudging out to Hout Bay on a frigid dawn, setting sail in the good ship ‘Down and Out’ to catch my friend a fish?
Or will he be curing meat in his shed, reliving the memories of good Cape boys Louw, de Allende, le Roux, Pollard, Etzebeth, and Schalk Burger running on to Twickenham’s hallowed turf with the Cup sitting on the table nearby?
Digby
Roar Guru
You have the raw end of the stick here Harry. Even if Biltong loses, he will be smiling.
Rugby Tragic
Guest
That would be a hoot wouldn't it? For All Blacks to finish 2nd in their group to Puma's and throw themselves into the top half of the draw ....The pesky French finished second in their group in 2007 ..
I am already wearing my bib ;)
Kia Kaha
Roar Guru
Can we video link BB and Harry when Morne Steyn is read out with du Preez, Matfield, JDV and Fourie for the semi final? If that were to happen, I can see Harry's face drop and BB putting on his yellowfin bib with an enigmatic Mona Lisa smile. In fairness, it's only fair I have a live feed when Morne kicks the winning points over on full time. in which case I want insurance now and a sample of both yellowfin and biltong shipped to me now. ;) Great piece Harry, we should get more of these Roarer bets going.
Haha, sounds good ;)
Harry Jones
Expert
Japan overpays for fish and Jaque Fourie. Let's set a max. I'm thinking 3 yellowfin steaks. 0.67 kg each. 2 kg total. My fisherman guru tells me we'll catch a 60 kg yellowfin in October. They're running smaller right now (40 kg). The winds will be high so I should be credited for danger/risk. You'll be safe in your shed. It's fitting that the wine you'll get if we don't reach the grand final will be from Schalk Burger's vineyard.
You do realise your reference to a barrel of biltong will increase the required size of my tuna? I just saw a bluefin sold for $1.7 million, I might up my requirement as well. ;)
Harry Jones
Expert
That will make my free barrel of biltong taste all the better!
Elk
Guest
One of the main things a coach tries to instill in a team is confidence - that they can beat anyone when they play well. Sometimes this is done to even fantasy levels in some sports - but it's to get the best out of the players. How could a Coach of the ranked second team in the world tell his team that he wants them to lose a match at the world cup because he doesn't think they are good enough. What a ridiculous comment Paul.
AussieBokkie
Guest
I hate to say it but I don't think you should be expecting Biltongbek's best dried meat anytime soon Harry. I genuinely think the Boks can beat any team other than the All Blacks. I would have my money on an SA v All Blacks semi and the other semi being Ireland v England, with the All Blacks beating England in the final. I would love to be wrong!
Harry Jones
Expert
@Birdy, to me, the 20-13 win by England, whilst deserved (like any win) had a few asterisks: - Brown was in touch; led to try - Obstruction in Farrel's try - Robshaw's try a bit fortuitous That said, England made their own luck, deserved the win. I just wouldn't give it too much weight.
Harry Jones
Expert
@Birdy, yeah, the bookies agree with you. My gut tells me Wales is the weaker of the top three in the pool. More dependent on one or two players. So, ENG v AUS for me is the battle royale. And I don't disagree with you that Lancaster has built two test packs. I think I might be overreading Australia's form in the RC! But Mr Pocock and the scrums look better.
Birdy
Guest
Not sure that 'could' means 'should', Harry. I agree Australia could beat England in the RWC, but 'should' implies that it is the most likely result and I haven't seen anything to justify that claim. I think you're going a little too far back in terms of records to draw conclusions about the game in 2015. To get the 4-4 score you have to go back to 2008. There will not be one player in the England 23 that was around in 2008. The last 4 games since Nov 2010 have been at Twickenham which seems the most relevant given where the game is being played. It's 3-1 England with one of those being a bit of a stuffing. In terms of how those games went, England blew them away in 2010; lost 20-14 in 2012 and won by 7 points in 2013 and 9 last year. Again, I'm puzzled why you think last years score flattered England. It seemed a fairly comfortable win to me with a bit to spare. Also, if 2013 flattered England then 2012 certainly flattered Australia. In terms of improvement; England beat everyone apart from Ireland in Dublin fairly comfortably in the 6 Nations and have 3 months in camp to prepare for the RWC. I'm just about to sit down and watch a recording of the Aussie-Argentina game, but I watched the Boks-Oz game and saw a large number of the same weaknesses that I saw on the EOYT. If I had to bet my life on it I'd say England will beat Oz at the RWC, but it certainly could go either way.
Harry Jones
Expert
Birdy, here's my rationale for why OZ should beat ENG. Their past eight games (I'm picking that sample because the groups of players are relatively constant, and the few new players in the equation are easier to analyse) were split 4W 4L. But six of those games were at Twickenham, so the venue is very familiar for the Wallabies. England did win the last two (20-13 in 2014 and 26-17 in 2013), but for me, those scorelines were a bit flattering, and while I think England is improving, Australia has improved faster and is doing so against the Boks and All Blacks, whilst England's improvement has been measured against Ireland and Wales. So, I think Australia, with a bit of new blood and swagger, Mr Pocock, and a better plan to score 3+ tries, could beat England. And if you could, then you should.
Birdy
Guest
Why 'should' Australia beat England, Harry, given the recent results between the two teams?
Taylorman
Guest
Yes but they could disguise it better perhaps?
Harry Jones
Expert
Francois Louw and Jannie du Plessis will miss next Test against Argentina. Jean de Villiers, Fourie du Preez and Willem Alberts might be back. Victor Matfield and JP Pietersen (hamstring injuries) will miss both Puma tests. Duane Vermeulen and Coenie Oosthuizen are progressing well with their rehabilitation. Vincent Koch and Warren Whiteley are fit and available for selection next weekend. Jan Serfontein (hip and knee), Marcell Coetzee (knee), Pieter-Steph du Toit (knee) and Steven Kitshoff (knee) may be available for selection against the Pumas. Frans Steyn will be ready for the World Cup. Miraculously, Meyer may have every single one of his favoured players available for the Cup.
Taylorman
Guest
Gosh, there's that superbra again... Not that I'd have picked that one for myself but can we get the spelling right? How can I post seriously when I'm laughing every second post... :-)
Harry Jones
Expert
Australia could and should beat Wales and England; and make it to the finals.
Vic
Guest
Thanks, BB, that's a good word