Last Saturday, the Wallabies again failed to compete at Eden Park, slamming the brakes on the accelerating speculation about their World Cup chances.
The Wallabies are a wonderful team, but they hate a cauldron. All too regularly they’re rattled by the viciousness that permeates the badlands of world rugby – places like Pretoria, Mendoza and Auckland.
The Wallaby forwards took a knife into a gunfight at Eden Park and were duly dispatched. It seems that whenever the battle descends below the belt, the Wallabies look shocked at the turn of events, like the Marquis of Queensbury getting kicked in the groin.
The main battle lost was the battle of the ground – the 15 inches over the top of the ball. This is where the sewer fight happens, where only the ruthless, the brutal, and the merciless survive.
Starting without David Pocock in this respect was like squaring up to Kimbo Slice without an axe. Forget about relying on the referee for ruck parity – it is a pointless exercise, because while the referees generally enforce the law, the momentum stays with the most aggressive team and the one which is prepared to bend the law not quite to breaking point.
As the Wallabies submitted politely to their nemesis, I couldn’t help but think of the old gutter fighter himself, one half of the World War II ‘Heavenly Twins’, Bill Fairbairn.
I have no idea if Fairbairn was a rugby fan. If he was, it would have only been for the violent bits. Regardless, he would have been disappointed at the Wallabies – if not for their meekness in allowing themselves to be conquered, then certainly at their failure to learn the lessons of 20 years of North Island beatings.
In 1907, Fairbairn answered a recruiting call from the Shanghai police department. Shanghai at that time was known as ‘The Whore Of The Orient’ – a city with so many drug addicts, thieves, pirates and hustlers, that it contained an estimated 100,000 criminals.
Fairbairn had been a Royal Marine, trained in close combat and traditional warfare. Arriving in Shanghai, he felt that he had a better-than-even chance against most bad eggs, and was known to be able to hold his own in a street fight. Unfortunately no-one told the Chinese crooks the rules. During an encounter on the docks one night, a willing Fairbairn shaped up to five thugs, and in his own personal Eden Park horror story, was beaten almost to death.
After being taken to hospital by rickshaw, a slow recuperation followed, during which Fairbairn had plenty of time to think. Upon recovery, he made a vow to never again be beaten in a fight – legal, illegal, or otherwise.
To make good his promise, and as soon as he was able to walk again, Fairbairn sought out Cui Jindong, a martial arts master who taught Wing Chun – the art of crippling your opponent and ending fights quickly by hitting the most vulnerable parts of the body fast and hard.
Fairbairn remained true to his oath. Over the next 20 years, according to official police records, he engaged in and survived over 600 knife fights, brawls, street battles and gunfights, crippling, maiming and killing hundreds of men and perfecting the art of survival in the most brutal environments.
He developed his own fighting style, named ‘Defendu’, and also his own patented assassin’s knife.
Eventually the name Fairbairn became synonymous with the most savage kind of underhanded, immoral and effective techniques employed by any fighting force in the world. Fairbairn was so vicious and calculating that, together with fellow close-combat instructor Eric Sykes (the other Heavenly Twin), and at the age of 58, he was called upon to train British, American and Canadian commando forces in close-combat, pistol-shooting and knife-fighting techniques during World War II.
All this was wonderful of course, but Fairbairn’s greatest achievement was not in his own murderous exploits, but his success in changing the mindset of the neophyte Allied guerrilla forces, recently formed by Winston Churchill.
While the rest of the army maintained certain battle etiquette, Fairbairn grimly emphasised the simple choice for the secret soldiers: life or death.
The key to the Fairbairn-Sykes style of combat was forgetting any idea of gentlemanly conduct or fighting fair. Said Fairbairn, “I teach what is called ‘gutter fighting’. Get tough, get down in the gutter, win at all costs. There’s no fair play, no rules except one: kill or be killed.”
Future leaders of the CIA were some of his students during World War II. One later recalled that Fairbairn had “an honest dislike of anything that smacked of decency in fighting”. Another said of training, “Within 15 seconds, I came to realise that my private parts were in constant jeopardy.”
But as Fairbairn reminded them, “There will be some who will be shocked by the methods recommended here. To them I say ‘In war you cannot afford the luxury of squeamishness. Either you kill and you capture, or you will be captured and killed’.
“We’ve got to be tough to win and we’ve got to be ruthless. Tougher and more ruthless than our enemies.”
Fairbairn didn’t want screw-loose crazies either. He immediately dumped braggart candidates who promised to blow the head off the first German they saw. “We don’t want these sort of heroes,” he explained. “We want disciplined types who live and keep fighting.”
It was hard not to think that the Wallabies could benefit from a Fairbairn-esque shift in mindset. Certainly the All Blacks appear to have long ago heeded the lesson. After all, media and supporter allegations of offside play and ruck deviousness by the New Zealanders are as common as pennies.
Only last week, according to New Zealand resident and columnist Mark Reason, the All Blacks committed several offences that went unpunished:
Twice in the opening half an hour Conrad Smith played the catcher when he was in the air. The absence of a yellow card beggared belief,” Reason wrote for Stuff.co.nz.
“On Saturday [Brodie] Retallick and [Tony] Woodcock assaulted players with cheap shots. In the lead-up to the turnover that led to the All Blacks opening try, [Kieran] Read pulled Will Skelton down and out of a driving maul on one side and Richie McCaw lifted Wycliff Palu’s leg on the other side, the same offence for which Romain Poite yellow carded Rob Simmons a few months ago. Not even a penalty.”
Reason loves the controversy, and the point of discussion here is not that the All Blacks are a dirty side. The far more interesting question is whether their fringe methods help them to intimidate sides and win games.
They certainly worked out long ago what they can get away with and play to the absolute edge of the laws, physically, technically and mentally. And why not?
They give away no more penalties in the big picture than any other team, but create much greater uncertainty in their opponents than anyone else, and as Fairbairn also said, “Create enough uncertainty in your enemy and you can paralyse him.”
The All Blacks create uncertainty partly through deft execution and a litany of technical chicanery, but mostly with a hard edged, retaliatory physicality. Everyone denies being frightened of the All Blacks, but the proof is as plain as a prison mugshot.
How many times after the Wallabies’ win in Sydney did you hear someone say, “We’ve tweaked the tiger’s tail now – they’ll be angry in Auckland.” The implication seems to be that it is almost better not to win in case you get bashed next time. Just give them your lunch money and maybe they’ll leave you alone.
What a glorious psychological trick for the All Blacks to have in their kitbag.
This is the problem the Wallabies face, that virtually no-one has ever described them as intimidating. The Wallabies fight hard, but just too fair altogether. The All Blacks, on the other hand, fight cunningly to the edge of the laws, and then some.
As Michael Cheika pores over his final selections for the Rugby World Cup he will rue the lack of any genuine guerilla factor across the field. Oh for Owen Finegan, Jacques Potgieter, Bismarck du Plessis or Brad Thorn.
On the sole criteria of ruthlessness, there aren’t many candidates – perhaps Kane Douglas on an angry day, occasionally Scott Fardy, maybe Michael Hooper, at least in the tackle.
It remains a problem for the Wallabies, but for those who make the cut, they know where the edge is to be found – after all, most of them took it in the teeth first-hand at Eden Park.
If they are to compete in London, the Wallaby pack could do worse than remember Shakespeare’s Julius Caesar:
Blood and destruction shall be so in use,
And dreadful objects so familiar…
And Caesar’s spirit, ranging for revenge,
That all pity will be choked off,
With Ate by his side come hot from hell,
Shall in these confines with a monarch’s voice,
Cry “Havoc!” and let slip the dogs of war”
Bill Fairbairn would approve.
Michael Scott
Guest
Agree. The info is appreciated. As LBJ said in Wellington in 1965 after listening to the Holyoake/Kirk speeches, if we all agreed with each other, we'd all want the same wife. A reply that includes opinion isn't necessarily criticism of the original comment/s or anyone who gave it. It may be a wrong view of a right opinion, a right view of the wrong one, simply wrong or simply right, or none of the above (space left blank). As is the case here, one person's comment can serve as a hook for another to raise other angles/interpretations of fact or opinion, thereby giving opportunity to further diversify the debate, which I understand the Roar columns to be about. The problem I see with Andrew Logan's "go gutter" advocacy is that rugby would be diminished to a sneaky form of nasty, brutish and boring mixed martial arts, not a game in which true rugby talent matters anymore. It would be like taking boxing back from gloves and the Queensberry rules to bare knuckles (something that amazingly MMA approximates in the 21st century). In other words, no longer boxing and no longer rugby.
Muzzo
Guest
@ Michael Scott We all have an opinion mate, & stating the facts on past issues, is only stating what happened.
Coconut
Guest
Actually I don't believe the English team is particularly dirty either... probably one of the 'cleaner' teams out there, apart from one or two players who whinge at the ref incessantly... I used to find the constant moaning at the ref tiresome, and all the gesticulating and whingeing at lineout time, to put off the thrower... but otherwise they're not too bad off the ball.
Birdy
Guest
The point, as I mentioned above Coconut, is that kiwihaydyn (presumably one of your brethren) specifically singled out England (along with the French and Boks) as the truly dirty teams. Do you expect me to just agree or tell you why I think that's rubbish? To me 'dirty' means acts of violence designed to hurt opposing players. It doesn't mean being offside; going into the side of rucks, pulling the shirt off the ball. To me that is the sort of gamesmanship that all sides do. The article comes close to suggesting the WBs are 'soft' in the physical intimidation/violence stakes and the accusation has been made that England is one of the most 'dirty' teams presumably in this context.
Birdy
Guest
I'm simply responding to kiwihaydyn's post that singled out France, England and the Boks as the really 'dirty' teams earlier in the thread. No-one is denying that all teams are capable of a bit of niggle (apart from the WBs apparently who, according to the article, are just too fair). I'm making the point that the England team while just as capable of the niggle, off the ball pulls, cynicism etc etc actually have a very good recent record when it comes to the really dirty play that causes injury to opposition players. So the accusation that England are a team that should be singled out as a dirty team is nonsense.
Wozza
Guest
RT, appreciate you get where I'm coming from and it was a lot more than 2 incidents, they're just the ones that stick in my mind. He's been doing these things his whole career and as an opposition fan I totally hate him for it. When he retires I will be free to recognise him as the great that he is, much like Martin Johnson, who was a sociopathic thug in his day who I'd have killed to have in my team. Once he does retire, like Mick I'll be stuck with the dilemma of whether he was better than Micheal Jones but I already know I'll pick Jones. There's something about Richie that grates me and I know there is nothing more weighty in the rugby community than the esteemed opinions of moi :p
Akari
Roar Rookie
True RT except the sight of JC coming in for the tackle is sufficient to instill fear in eyes of the ball carrier or anyone else wanting to take him on.
Akari
Roar Rookie
Wasn't Paul Carroza actually trying to head-butt Loey's elbow while flat on his back on the ABs try line?
tamaolevao
Guest
Interesting article Andrew.....you're premiss highlights the true nature of a man when asked to front up with the hard stuff and gets found out when it gets too willing because they cant reach deep enough to find it or they go over the top with it and get penalized for it when the team least need it because they bot use to it..... Take for example Quade Cooper..When the Reds were winning the super 15 back in 2011 he played with skill , speed and the confidence of man in the zone... he genrally took the right options in attack and defence for a memorable season... The worst thing to happen to him was making the wallabies side that year and some genius telling him that to be effective against the all blacks you need more than skill , speed and confidance you need a bit of mongrel.. The rest as they say is history as quade went from "exciting new prospect"for the wallabies to "wanna be tough guy" & "cheap shot merchant with flashes of brilliance " culminating in his eden park brain snap..... My point is some people are born with the ability to carry out mayhem because its part of their makeup and they have a chip on their sholder to drive themselves to great heights. ... Guys like "googey" Harrison and "melon" Finegan are case in point, as both played hard uncompromising take no prisoners brand of rugby because its thier personality and they played the villain with smiles and a cop that!!! trash talk mentality when warranted. the fact that they were thown to the brumbies discard team back in the days drove them to grudge everyone and be an integral part of a winning wallaby era... Where as the bro quade plays like a guy waiting for retaliation from past sins as his mind is on where the next push in the back, stand on my finger , talk about my alleged thieving is going to pop up to goad him... instead of playing his natural game with his nature... Good luck wallabies unfortunately you need somthing more than just fist pumping awe inspiring video sessions, rubbing vicks on the baldy (orge style) or even passionate pleas from past greats to fire up in the dark places. ... You either have it or you dont.. You need a balance of skill agression and the rugby playing depth at international level to say "you get two shots at it then we move to the next guy"..that in itself will fire any man up to keep his spot and is why the all black do not loose two in a row...
Michael Scott
Guest
To Highlander and Muzzo, See the conversation copied below. Kevin Skinner is not at all in the villain category of the Mark "Cowboy" Shaws, Jaap Bekkers or, in modern times, the Bakkies Bothas (of the potentially homicidal shoulder charges) of this world. However brutal or outdated, what Kevin Skinner did had moral authority. Like the traditional avenging angel hero (depicted by John Wayne, Clint Eastwood or even the "rough on roughnecks" Phantom) Kevin Skinner took care of cowardly bullies who never gave their victims such as Mark Irwin and Duncan Hall the chance to fight back. Kevin Skinner didn't use cheap shots from behind or when the victim was defenceless and vulnerable to serious injury. Skinner was man enough to front up to the Bok props. "Highlander said | August 20th 2015 @ 2:34pm | Report comment My All time personal favourite – Mark Cowboy Shaw. Reply Michael Scott said | August 21st 2015 @ 5:07am | Report comment Highlander, nothing at all heroic there. If Mark “Cowboy” Shaw had been a real Wild West cowboy he would have shot the other guy in the back against the code that according to legend all but the dirtiest cowboys honoured. His kick at Athletic Park, Wellington that broke vertebrae in the back of Wallabies lock Duncan Hall trapped on the ground was about as cowardly, vicious and malicious as a crime committed on the rugby field can get. A little harder and Hall could have suffered a paralysing damaged or severed spinal cord. A little higher or lower either side of, or up, the spine and he might have lost a kidney, or maybe a rib impacted into a lung or other vital organ. It was mainly due to Hall leaving the field to be replaced by the then raw-boned Steve “Skylab” Cutler that the All Blacks nearly won the second test of the 1982 Wallabies tour after trailing 19-3 at halftime. Similarly, the absence of Hall’s power and weight helped the All Blacks to win the third test at Eden Park, Auckland with relative ease to seal the series. “Cowboy”-style thuggery also featured at Eden Park when Shaw showered Roger Gould’s cranium with a cascade of combination punches provoking mild retaliation for which Gould was amazingly and unjustly penalised to set up one of the many successful kicks at goal made by Hewson in that game. In a later series, a “Cowboy” sucker punch broke the jaw of another Wallabies powerhouse lock Steve Williams that tipped yet another game to the All Blacks. Please don’t anyone mention Brad Thorn in any list of “hard men” practising aggression remotely as thuggish as the example set by the “Cowboy”, who would not have wanted to face either Hall or Thorn, or the contemporary Wallabies own Shaw (Tony), in a fair fight. From my viewing of many of the top flight matches featuring Thorn he played hard, yet fair, decent and never dirty, only retaliating in an effective but measured way if himself subjected to dirty tactics (e.g. when the 18-plus stone John Smit of South Africa decided to make bullying use of Brad’s neck and head to practise push-ups). Also, it’s worth noting that going beyond acceptable boundaries of hard play can backfire on the aggressors as the 1971 Lions proved against the so-called All Black tough guys after the match against Canterbury when Grizz Wylie and Hoppy Hopkinson had violently removed first choice props Ray Mcloughlin and Sandy Carmichael. They were replaced with Ian “Mighty Mouse” McLachlan and Sean Lynch (“is boring in”). Muzzo said | August 21st 2015 @ 10:42am | Report comment @ Michael Scott Yep mate, all countries in the international arena, have their villains,& but more so in the past, as modern technology has eliminated quite a fair share of the “hard stuff”, that used to go on. I can recall the 1956 Bokkies in New Zealand, when one prop, Jaap Bekker, broke the ribs of the then young prop Mark Irwin, in the first test, & after losing the second test the All Blacks, brought back one Kevin Skinner, for the third test. It was quite noticeable how Skinner, was swapped from loose head to tight head, to “soften up”, the Bokkie front row. As I say that would never happen today, as it would be picked up virtually straight away. But as the saying went, “there were no angels”."
Mick Gold Coast QLD
Roar Guru
Just when one thinks it cannot get any worse, it does - I read just now that Horwill is out but amicable Cliff, who ambles amiably about, is in; together with useless big log Skelton and slow train Genia. Half-a-game-if-you're-lucky Polota-Nau is the only back up hooker. The comical Cooper and the other fabulously well paid inept non performer are there, but that's Cheika just being mischievous I venture - brought them along as comedy relief. Coaching genius? I'm not so sure now!
Muzzo
Guest
@ BBA Maybe in your opinion mate, in regards to Wayne " Buck" Shelford. But he in my opinion, & possibly others was one of the best No.8 / Captains to play for New Zealand. His approach to the game, then, did so much for NZ rugby, in the way he change certain parts of the NZ game. It was so much a pity, the way he finished up, due to leaving a certain player hanging off a changing room wall hanger.
Muzzo
Guest
@ Chook Mate I ended up getting very badly detained by some "well wishers", after the game. needless to say arriving home a day or so later. I've forgotten.lol, Yeh it was a good win, something that Shag would have worked on, & I am now looking forward to the announcements of the 31's, from both here & over the puddle. Have you refurbished your lounge, in readiness for the upcoming month of quality rugby yet, as I? So looking forward to it. Cheers
Muzzo
Guest
@ Michael Scott Yep mate, all countries in the international arena, have their villains,& but more so in the past, as modern technology has eliminated quite a fair share of the "hard stuff", that used to go on. I can recall the 1956 Bokkies in New Zealand, when one prop, Jaap Bekker, broke the ribs of the then young prop Mark Irwin, in the first test, & after losing the second test the All Blacks, brought back one Kevin Skinner, for the third test. It was quite noticeable how Skinner, was swapped from loose head to tight head, to "soften up", the Bokkie front row. As I say that would never happen today, as it would be picked up virtually straight away. But as the saying went, "there were no angels".
ClarkeG
Roar Guru
Yes I had already watched the tape. I never said McCaw did not lift a player's leg. I said Reason's point is frivolous. Yes it could have been a penalty but a yellow card for that would have been nonsense. The maul was not collapsed. The All Blacks stopped and drove the Wallabies back and the maul went to ground. There is some difference between a maul that goes to ground and a player/s deliberately collapsing a maul. Australia never turned the ball over. They always had it.
Matthew Skellett
Guest
I've gotta do this ....."everybodddy was gut-ter-fighting dudududuudu it was fast as lighteneeeeeng ....it was a lil' bit frightening ...all those people gut-ter-fighting....... so there got it out of my system now ;-)
dru
Roar Rookie
Another facinating piece of history, Andrew. I'm starting to really look forward to your stuff. "let slip the dogs of war" Wonderful. Still, personally I think it's a downward spiral to test how far we can "bend the laws". What the ABs do well is to play the game that the ref presents. I suspect it's specious to imply a need to train the dark arts. It needs intelligence and an ability to adapt. Cheika is working on this with his game plan and bench finishers, but are rugby and ref IQ seems low in the pack.
Mick Gold Coast QLD
Roar Guru
Mick Gold Coast QLD
Roar Guru
Mick Gold Coast QLD
Roar Guru
Yes, I too thank you Rugby Tragic. The fashionable thing here at The Roar, when excitable, deluded fans don't get their own way, is to first accuse the referee - every referee - of bias and incompetence. The second port of call is to draw attention to the referee's obliviousness to assumed indiscretions by Richie McCaw ... by observers who have never sighted nor read the laws of rugby union nor discussed them with an experienced referee. The more shrill the bleating by the gang leaders the bigger and louder the mob becomes and it occurs after every game featuring the Qantas Harmless Wallabies. We regularly host New Zealand referees visiting to officiate in Club games to widen their experience. If I recall correctly several of them have mentioned that McCaw has either gained his referee ticket or studied in the referee courses. That puts him even further ahead of any other pretender than we see on the field.