If the hacktivists who recently gave Ashley Madison a fearful touch-up ever extend their work into Steve Hansen’s Facebook account, what would his profile reveal?
I’d suggest something like: favourite food ‘white bread’, favourite beer ‘DB Draught’, favourite music ‘middle of the road’, favourite position ‘missionary’ – and so on.
Hansen’s final squad of 31, announced yesterday, is notable for its sheer predictability. There is a 17/14 split between forwards and backs. There are three hookers and three halfbacks, with sufficient utility players to cover other positions in some of the lesser pool games, or if things turn to custard through injury.
It is, by most accounts, non-controversial because the omissions are merely a reflection of the depth of talent at his disposal, not some left-field indulgence that breeds speculation about personal or provincial bias.
There are unlucky players, there always is. Nepo Laulala and Lima Sopoanga deputised superbly when offered opportunities this year but, like Ben Smith and Liam Messam in 2011, their time is coming. Israel Dagg is still a high quality player who is very unfortunate to be squeezed out.
On form, Charles Piutau will feel the hardest done by. From ‘man of the match’ in the cauldron of Ellis Park to out of the squad completely, is one almighty fall from grace. Conspiracy theorists will point to his pending shift to the UK as the reason, but the selection of Colin Slade suggests otherwise.
Instead, it is the compelling rise of Waisake Naholo which provides the only element of surprise. Certainly not on the basis of the hot 2015 form which saw him capped in the first place, but the inconvenient matter of his dragging around a broken leg for the last couple of months.
Naholo’s remarkable recovery confirms him as the new Steve Austin and has Hansen updating his profile.
Favourite medicine ‘kava’.
Allowing some fans a day or two to get over their own personal differences, Hansen will depart for the UK with a healthy bank of goodwill to support him, with a highly expectant New Zealand public overwhelmingly in tune and on-side with his program.
Such a situation does not evolve by accident, it is Hansen’s own deeds, via incumbency and a consistent winning record over the past few seasons, which provides a steady platform from which to springboard into the world cup itself.
In truth, had Hansen been required to select this team six months ago it would, barring injury, be almost identical to this side. Only Naholo and Nehe Milner-Skudder have forced their way in with 2015 performances and even then, may not have made the cut had Cory Jane’s season not been so hampered by injury.
One by-product is a hefty dollop of Test-match experience. Players like Dane Coles, Brodie Retallick Aaron Smith, Julian Savea and Ben Smith have an average age of 26, still seem relatively fresh to Test rugby on one hand, but on the other have an impressive 189 Test caps combined.
Critics will point to having to nurse New Zealand’s ageing cohort of Keven Mealamu, Tony Woodcock, Richie McCaw, Dan Carter, Ma’a Nonu and Conrad Smith as reason for doubt, but it’s the former group of players – plus Kieran Read – who are actually the key drivers of this team, and who will ultimately determine their success.
With that combined experience comes familiarity and while Hansen, like all coaches, has taken time this year to tweak combinations and line-ups to determine his best line-up, he can surely sleep sooner and more soundly than his contemporaries, knowing what his best team is. And with that team knowing each other.
By contrast the preceding squad announcements from some of New Zealand’s main rivals drew a more polarised response from local fans.
Sam Burgess’ inclusion for England provides priceless publicity for the tournament as the ‘deserving’ and ‘undeserving’ arguments fly back and forth. He’s worth the risk in the sense that the discarded Luther Burrell is not the player to win England the world cup, and his mid-field defence may prove useful when things tighten up at the business end of the tournament. On the other hand, there are doubts about what he can create with the ball.
James Horwill’s omission isn’t as juicy for the English tabloids to make a meal of, yet it still prompted much angst from Wallabies supporters. And whatever explanations were rolled out to justify the selection of only two hookers, the risk remains that a relatively minor 7 to 10 day injury early in the cup would be enough to see the captain ejected, without the ability to return in the elimination phase.
Meanwhile, in South Africa, coach Heyneke Meyer seems to have avoided widespread criticism for his side, despite it containing a debutant half-back who could have already been blooded but wasn’t, and the omission of Heinrich Broussow and Frans Steyn.
Perhaps the South African public is already conditioned (and resigned?) to Meyer’s ways? Or where anything seems remarkably logical by contrast to predecessor Pieter de Villiers.
Regardless, aside from feeling a little underwhelmed by the wingers, this does appear to be a very strong and experienced squad, one that should go deep into the tournament.
Where Hansen will require some innovation is in his management of the squad through the pool stage. While the so called ‘pool of death’ will see two of Australia, England, Wales and Fiji exit early, Hansen may well have preferred this scenario to the one he has.
What such a competitive pool allows is for sides to engage early with the tournament, to immediately switch into full battle mode, which in turn demands each challenge is attacked as it arises. It goes without saying that whoever emerges from this pool will be well tuned for the elimination phase.
New Zealand by contrast has an ideal opening opponent in Argentina, a side they know well but one they often have trouble putting away. Their 2011 quarter-final was for a large part, a very challenging and nervous affair for the All Blacks.
The banana skin however is the following couple of weeks, with matches against Namibia, Georgia and Tonga serving at best to keep the squad ticking over, and hopefully avoiding injury. Not an ideal scenario and one that Hansen and his support staff will have to be extra clever to negotiate.
Based on previous experience there are probably some innovations that won’t be adopted. For example naked, boot-camp swims in icy waters at 3.00am, a mid-tournament vacation at a beach resort in the south of France, or tossing around a few of the local dwarves for a bit of fun.
Win or lose, it will be fascinating in the aftermath of the tournament to hear more about how this phase was handled, both in the planning and the execution.
For now, New Zealand fans will turn their thoughts briefly to Dagg, Jane and Piutau in nodding appreciation of their abilities and service, and in sympathy for their plight. There will be a quick nod too for Cruden and Patrick Tuipolotu, certainties for the squad before injury struck.
But in the bigger scheme, New Zealand has made it to this point with little disruption. While there is a sense that this side is more vulnerable on a given day than it has been in recent years, I doubt that any true fan would swap their position for a fan from another country.
Steve Hansen knows more than anyone that his support will only last for as long as his side keeps winning. But for now at least, he moves forward with the blessing of his countrymen.
Muzzo
Guest
@ Old Bugger Agreed mate, & although some of us possibly don't agree with some of the selections, as I do with a couple, I really think overall, that this is a very good squad, that definitely has the capabilities of bringing back Wiremu. All we can do is feel sorry for some of the very good talent, left behind, but in reality, we all knew, that they could not all go. So with that, let's all get behind Shag & his coaching staff, on their way to bringing back Wiremu. Kia Kaha.... Cheers.
Muzzo
Guest
@ Chook, No Buddy, you don't smoke it, like the "curly ends", lol. Both Kava & Kawakawa,are of the drinkable form. They both come from trees, Kava from the roots of a certain tree, & Kawakawa from the leaves. Waisake was treated, in a poultice form on the effected area, along with drinking it as well, from what I have heard. But even so, he did make a very rapid recovery, & Shag wouldn't be taking him unless his fitness, was pretty spot on. Who can ever forget, those magic tries he scored in the semi final & final of the super rugby, against the Hurricanes & Tah's. Remember, mate? lol. Those Horrible Highlanders, who are my team, & I never expected to win. Well I am pretty chuffed to see the likes of Nehe, Waisake, & Bender, possibly coming together in one of the pool games, where I'm sure, that the Pom's over there, will think, "Guy Fawkes", has come early. I'm sure Julian will playing himself back into the acquisition as well. Just over two weeks to go buddy, & I'm really looking forward to this tournament, as every thing seems to be well prepared this time, even as far as conducting the seminars for the ref's & assistants. Great stuff. Cheers
Geoff Parkes
Expert
Yeah you wouldn't want any more would you RT? It's manageable though. None would likely make the starting XV against Argentina, assuming the "best" side is selected. Then, without trying to sound arrogant, they can even be played into fitness against Georgia and Namibia. I've got no doubt that the medical assessments would have been very carefully handled.
Rugby Tragic
Guest
Digger, taking into account Faumuina, Barrett, Naholo, TJK, SBW.. that's 16 % of the squad who presently not 100% fit
Rugby Tragic
Guest
Great piece this Allanthus ... thanks I agree with just about everyone the Piutua was the unlucky one to miss out. I listened to Shag's reasoning after the announcement but was not really convinced. I think his decision to move to Ulster was the main reason. However, having said that, I for one will be getting behind the whole squad. Whether they can go back to back or not will soon be known.
Lindsay Amner
Roar Guru
Why would England be favourites? On your hometown argument, Japan must be favourites to win the RWC in 2019! Home ground advantage doesn't make you a better team, at best it's worth a few points, at worst the pressure may be too much. England are not six nations champions, they are currently ranked sixth in the world, they were beaten convincingly by France last week, and they don't have a settled flyhalf or any midfield backline combination. They have little inspiration in the backs at all. They could potentially have a strong forward pack but pretty much their first choice pack got monstered by France last week. There is no evidence at this stage to say that they will be a strong threat. At the moment they aren't even favourite to win their pool, much less win the tournament. The All Blacks are clear favourites with every bookmaker around and with anyone who knows anything about rugby. That's not to say they will win it, as anything can happen in a world cup knockout game, but you can't go past the convincing world No 1 for the favourite tag.
taylorman
Roar Guru
Well I for one agree with Mealamus selection for many of the reasons put forward here, but mainly for that final period in the knockout when the heat is on, when cool heads are required. You cannot buy that experience and when you think of the countdown and tension on the field in the last twenty in the 2011 final, Mealamu is exactly the person you want on the field, whether it be to make that crucial one up or tackle, or settle the troops in a heated moment. Mealamu can be relied on to do exactly the right thing. Form wise he's fine for sub value and if he only plays the last twenty in a crucial knockout, and nothing else, I think his selection is worth it. I hope it doesn't come to that and he does get his armchair ride, but if strong heads are required, Mealamu is one of the first you would want out there.
Chivas
Guest
Anyway regardless of what I think he is there and I'm sure he will put in as hard and honestly as he always has and respect to him for the work ethic he has bought and the legacy he is leaving.
Chivas
Guest
Interesting Machooka. As a wallaby supporter you seem to be bothered enough to share your expert view on NZ players and selections. Just not enough to justify them I guess :-)
Chivas
Guest
So we take an old bloke on one leg, justified by the fact he is a good bloke and the AB's lack the guidance off the field. Unfortunately I could care less about how nice a guy he is when it comes to selecting a squad for the RWC. Having grown, played against and knowing guys like Mitch, Michae Jones, Eroni Clarke I know there are plenty of top blokes who do themselves, their family and friends and any Jersey they wear proud. That is not my point. The fact Lindaay and Machooka can't see it and need to justify their top bloke narrative with excerpts read from a book, also miss the point. Number 2 hooker? The best at closing out games? Do people watch the game and his recent performances? He's more prone to making mistakes without the upside of being the tornado he once was. I swear some people are more addicted to sites like this, reading books and rummaging through stats than the game itself. Do you think I don't feel for Kevvy or appreciate what entertainment he has provided over the years. Or that I doubt his heart or class. I felt for the iceman too when he was stood down. But frankly no-one is beyond reproach and calling it out is hardly disrespectful as these two seem to insinuate.
Pete
Guest
Like the Wobblies over the last decade... Claiming success even with generally low level performances
Geoff Parkes
Expert
Chivas I get where you're coming from, and this RWC has really come too late for Mealamu if things were ideal. But I agree with the other guys that it's not too late that he still can't play a valuable role, on and off the field - particularly with Harris having his career stalled and no other hooker really making a compelling case for inclusion. If Elliot or anyone else had done what Naholo and NMS did then they'd probably be in. But they haven't.
Machooka
Roar Guru
@ Lindsay Amner Thanks for that reply to @ Chivas... as I was but then I couldn't be bothered. And I'm a Wallaby supporter anyway.
Lindsay Amner
Roar Guru
On top of that he's also the number two hooker in NZ with plenty to offer at the end of a game. That after all is his primary role in the team. He has yet to have been supplanted in that role by any other up and coming hooker. They couldn't afford to have him there solely as father figure, it's just another role he fills. But if you read some of the All Black books lately you will see the respect he is held in among the players. According to Cory Jane's great book, he schooled up Dan Carter and Richie McCaw for dropping their off field standards at one point. There is small chance of a meltdown in the All Blacks because of off field issues while he's around.
Machooka
Roar Guru
@ Muzzo Hey buddy... yeah I thought the old 'kava' was the unlikely source of Naholo's miraculous recovery. Thanks for clearing that up... and further updating me. So... it's the old 'erb that Waisake been puffing. And just gotta say... with that name it sure sounds like some damn fine good wowie wowie. Is this 'Kawakawa' local street stuff, or from your local pharmacist... nudge nudge, wink wink ?? Please get back to me post haste as it's been a big day... and way far too many images of Shag shagging.
Old Bugger
Guest
Machooka But mate, I was actually referring to Hansen as a member of the cloth brigade......how dare Allanthus promote him up to those revere(n)d heights. We all know its bad enough that Hansen has followed, the selection script compared to another coach, but to end his announcement with "Amen", is just too much.
Muzzo
Guest
@ Chook, As the "word", has it, Waisake, was on "Kawakawa", a herbal cure made up from the leaves of the Kawakawa tree. I don't think Kava, would have the same effect, mate.
Geoff Parkes
Expert
Cheers Ash
Geoff Parkes
Expert
Hi Nick (and Sam above), just to clarify, the article reads "conventional" not "conservative". A subtle but important difference.
Nick
Guest
How anybody can say the ABs are firm favourites is beyond me. England at home playing their matches at the only ground they ever play at there with 90% of the crowd behind them. They have to be the favourites It's not a league, it's a knockout. The ABs record means nothing there and if we're being honest, their chances are surely 50/50 at best