It’s official: Mal Meninga has agreed to terms to selfishly abandon Queensland, thus allowing him to fulfil his lifelong ambition of coaching his country and being paid at Charlie Sheen rates to do so.
The Maroon demigod is reportedly set to receive $300,000 per year for his services, with the majority of his role focused on burning through nine months of recreation leave while occasionally coaching the Kangaroos when required.
With the gruelling international season ranging anywhere in total from 80 minutes to a month, Meninga’s toe-curling salary equates to an absurd fee-per-match rate that makes me so sick that I’m going to have to hit him up for a hundo.
Does John Grant know how to call ‘held’ on a negotiating table? To pay someone a motza to simply front to camp in uniform and relay some provocative one-liners to a bunch of professionals is like rugby league’s version of Sheen’s sitcom zenith, minus the rampant STDs.
Considering New Zealand and England survive on part-time coaches, and that Tim Sheens was on a paltry $50,000 (although heavily subsided by the Wests Tigers like most of the industry), it reeks of an overreaction to recent Kiwi dominance, or alternatively, a contract typo.
Personally, I think Meninga’s appointment is an ill-thought gamble for reasons other than financial. Sure, the money is extraordinary, but hasn’t anyone learnt that when it comes to significant statesman-like roles, he shouldn’t be offered contracts longer than 53 seconds in length?
I’m also concerned of the fatal blow to the aspiring talent of New South Wales who will now surely be road-blocked by overt Queensland bias.
This is surely the nail in Mitchell Pearce’s international aspirations. Worse still, it will be the inauguration of a saloon passage directly to the jersey for passengers from the north like Johnathan Thurston and Greg Inglis. We probably won’t even need that selection trial ‘Origin’ thing anymore.
However, in all seriousness and with state allegiances grudgingly aside, Meninga is the right man for the job. There, I said it.
After 10 years of record-breaking achievements with the Maroons, all accomplished in the face of relentless taunting about being Michael Hagan’s understudy, the big guy deserves nothing less than to take advantage of the breathtakingly oversized contract on offer from the ARLC.
But do we need him so badly to double the original offer made of $150,000? And for heaven’s sake, would it kill the game to set aside some of their behemoth TV deal instead of tossing it around like they’ve just discovered lap dances?
In the NRL’s defence, I guess it’s their schtick. They love pumping a ceaseless stream of dead facelift money into the Gold Coast, they fund stadiums to deal with non-existent demand, and they just coughed up $2 million for a bunker fitted with a glorified home theatre system.
In comparison, 300 large to Big Mal ain’t nothing more than a chicken wing on a string. And besides, he’ll be busting his guts with ambassadorial duties, so the game will definitely be getting it’s money’s worth in ribbon-cutting and fact-finding jaunts.
So to summarise, the beloved Queenslander is a wonderful appointment but rugby league largesse is rampant and misguided.
Even though grassroots and country footy will probably die in the arse now because they desperately needed the funding that will go towards the new extensions on Meninga’s house, at least Australia should start beating New Zealand again.
Go Australia.
Olu Hotz
Guest
Mal is currently the head coach of the PNG Kumuls. Why is he still holding onto both jobs. He needs to resign from one. How can Mal coach both PNG and Aust at the same time? He has disrespect for the game and I believe he is there for money. He has never produced a good result for PNG when he was coach. He was and will be lucky that he has a good bunch of players like JT, BS, CS & GI
Horace
Guest
Surely his PNG contract would have allowed an out clause because he was doing it at the same time as the Qld SOO gig. They needed to even up SOO and getting rid of the coach helps and at $300K they have spent up big to even up SOO...
Mike
Guest
Good point Rodney,forgot about that. You would think it is a privilege to coach the national team not a chance to bankroll your retirement after everything RL has already done for Mal. I think there is about 20 different country comps in NSW, wouldn't it be better to give them $20,000 each to administer and promote the game?
pete bloor
Guest
Even worse putting it in quotes and misquoting him.
Alex L
Roar Rookie
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH.
Rodney Olsen
Guest
No mention from anyone even the so called great man himself who stated once "what's Rugby League ever done for me?" on what Big Mal is going to do about the contract he's currently signed up too to coach the PNG side until the 2017 RLWC. On supposedly 500k btw, so he's taken a pay cut as well as given up the almighty queensland job. What a man you are Big Mal, you got to go from a God in PNG one second to the Devil himself the next, quite a trick eh? Now what's Rugby League ever done for me? We have no hope with this guy involved, all he's done lately is try to convince every none Australian that they are indeed queenslanders and should dump any notion of ever representing their actual country and join him and his merry men in maroon, bugga that mr RL has done squat for me, you are a hindrance, not a help and 300k could go a long way in any other way in Rugby League, not some fat cat that thinks the world owes him a living.
Bruce
Guest
Geez..... All they need is a few laps of back man to the front for training and a few old moves for the games. Apples down the blind, oranges up the guts, red and black for the backs to get dirty. How easy is that for $300,000G.......sheesh!!!
Parra
Guest
Malinga can't believe his luck to earn a great wage by doing very little. It should only require a part time coach as the Kangaroos only play at the end of the year. With the best players in the world qualifing for Australia, simply select a team and play. Not worth $300k.
Last Straw
Guest
Another example of how rugby league and AFL are a drain, wasting Australia's limited sporting capital and resources on sports that simply are not worth the focus. The only way they survive is to stack the media and over pay themselves.
pilferer
Guest
So isnt the arl meningas boss and a separate entity than the nrl , so if the nrl are paying mal then surely they should pay kearney given both kiwi and roo squads now days are all nrl players ?
John
Guest
At least spell his name right (Pearce*) if your going have a crack at someones "poor journalistic integrity'.
chucked
Guest
Its absolute BS money, complete waste. For the simple reason its about a one month job. He wont have access to the players for 11 months of the year
John
Guest
Bring back Dave Smith or another of his ilk, clearly the current administration doesn't know the word negotiations.
Renegade
Roar Guru
Yeah what a bizarre comment from Terry.
Renegade
Roar Guru
four nations next year and the World Cup in 2017 is the next two years locked down.
Squidward
Roar Rookie
Well played
Bulldog
Guest
Tim Sheens could not...
Ron Swanson
Roar Guru
Good article, enjoyed the dig at Mitchell Pearce. Good choice for a minimal coaching gig as evidenced by his struggles in charge of the Raiders. I liken Mal's coaching ability to that of an out & out T20 specialist! I wonder if Bennett will assist Kearney again given his comments on missing out on the role. Speaking of 'bar' I wonder if Slothfield dreamt the story up after crashing from his bar stool @Northies and after being found by cleaning staff the next day, handed the 'exclusive' to Paul Crawley.
Parrafan
Guest
No longer will Mal have to go behind the bar to pour himself a beer!
Kirk
Guest
Paul Langmack could do that same job