An ode to Pastor Maldonado

The Formula One career of Pastor Maldonado has ostensibly reached its’ conclusion, inducing universal lament from the sport’s followers.

The last part? Perhaps not, indeed far from it. The kindest sentiment which could be afforded is that the Venezuelan’s imminent absence from the grid will have decreased fear of sustaining carbon fibre splinters among the mechanics across all outfits so unfortunate as to have witnessed their sweat and tears experience the wrath of Pastor.

It goes without saying that the bill payers’ cardiovascular levels have already improved out of sight. Spare a thought for betting agencies, now forced to contemplate a fresh candidate for first race retiree.

Esteban Gutierrez returns to the grid with Haas in 2016. The Mexican, for one, will be glad to see the back of Maldonado on account of the ‘love-tap’ inflicted by the former at the memorable 2014 Bahrain Grand Prix. Suffice to say that Gutierrez’s resulting barrel roll, and genuinely stunned “what was that?” did not deter Maldonado’s brazen racecraft.

Without extensive research into the nuances of Maldonado’s shenanigans – for that, YouTube is your friend, which in many senses, blend into each other to create one titanic wave of destruction, considering the frequency which he would invariably create headaches, all that remains to be stated is that his career would be served well by an official documentary some day.

That Maldonado departs the sport as a Grand Prix victor is a novelty, though one which cannot be dismissed. The fateful afternoon at Barcelona in 2012, when the Venezuelan, starting from pole position following Lewis Hamilton’s demotion, fended off local boy Fernando Alonso’s advances, represented a feel-good moment which has seldom been enjoyed by the sport in recent years. Also in his favour is that he claimed victory in a Williams powered by Renault, amounting to one for the nostalgia books.

The dramatic post-script, during which joy turned to despair when a fire broke out in the team’s garage, threatened to prove that the spectacle was too good to be true. Yet it was Maldonado who came to the rescue of his young cousin, thus it was he who was the true victor that day.

Stats don’t lie. He competed in 95 Grands Prix, during which Maldonado accumulated points on just fourteen occasions, represents a return which cannot be justified. As soon as the PDVSA funds dried up, the Venezuelan’s days were numbered.

Rumour has it that a Dane who was cast aside rather callously by a certain Ron Dennis is the benefactor, and this is news which is sure to be greeted with enthusiasm.