When Brooke Cotchin spoke out in defence of her husband, Richmond captain Trent Cotchin, on social media, there was a mixed response.
No doubt, Richmond has been called ‘soft’ more often than any other club. Right now, they’re under scrutiny – yet again, but an entire football team’s performance, or lack thereof, isn’t totally defined by their captaincy.
It’s a team sport, but some players are unfairly targeted when the chips are down. Cotchin is a classic example.
When does intense media scrutiny of an individual player become a form of targeted bullying?
Three-time Brisbane Lion premiership player Jonathan Brown commented that the WAGs should “stay out of it.” He said, “obviously Richmond are going through a tough time…we just want to be big boys, we want to be men and it’s a man’s game.”
Okay, so there we have it. In a nutshell, according to Brown, WAGs shouldn’t utter a word about football or their men, who happen to play this ‘man’s game.’
Maybe a media gag should be put in place, for fear of the little women speaking out of turn. You know what? Maybe we should realise we’re in 2016 and this type of close-minded, chauvinistic, ‘blokey’ response, is not OK.
Historically, football may well be a man’s game, but as the saying goes, “behind every great man, there’s a great woman.” Football doesn’t begin and end on a field. Players have lives, wives and a family.
Many WAGs have their own careers. They’re not just a pretty face or an accessory on Brownlow night. These women are partners of professional athletes. They raise their children.
There’s a generation of little boys, sons of today’s champions who will qualify under the father-son rule and play for the same club as their famous fathers. These women are raising those little boys.
They’re in the trenches every day, good, bad or indifferent.
Just recently, Jesinta Cambell, fiancée of Lance ‘Buddy’ Franklin, articulated herself beautifully during Franklin’s mental health issues. The media, and the public, wanted to know what was going on.
Franklin had suddenly withdrawn from the end of the 2015 season in order to deal with an unspecified mental illness as well as a mild form of epilepsy. The announcement was a shock to everyone. At the time, Franklin wasn’t available for comment.
Campbell, was his only mouthpiece. It was a private time, but Campbell gracefully obliged in answering the questions that came, despite being emotionally spent herself.
Double standards? Absolutely! It appears that it’s only OK to speak when asked. Only then is it wanted, relevant and within the boundaries of being acceptable.
Brooke Cotchin did nothing wrong. Her message was that of a loving wife supporting her husband. She wrote:
“Every week you go out and give your all. To have to listen to the constant criticism you have had to put up with especially of late has been incredibly hard. Those closest to you know just how dedicated you are to your football club and teammates on and off the field. As a wise man once told me ‘People’s opinions are none of our business’. We love you and are proud of you”.
Wives and girlfriends make sacrifices too. They have every right to speak their mind. After all, they do have one!
When a wife or girlfriend publicly defends her husband or partner, is that as demasculating as it gets? Something has to be said for loyalty, right?
dave
Guest
Mr trent cotchin
dave
Guest
check your phone credit cotch so your wife can sms kick or handball.
dave
Guest
Hey cotch i was going to tackle you but i heard your wife was watching.
dave
Guest
Hey cotch my eggs weren't cooked right this morning,any chance you could send your wife over to the cafe to speak for me?
dave
Guest
Oh and just had to point out my indonesian wife is a princess and wants me to stop work and come live in luxury. But i say no ,i will continue work and after 20 years maybe we can live in a place smaller than one of her bathrooms. Its my decision(maybe a stupid one) because i am the man and even though she could ditch me and go back to luxury she supports my decision(maybe stupid on her behalf). Its old school and i like it. The thing with the pc crew is they try preach equality but some people like the old ways. Anyway enough of that,I think your thread could be a lot more entertaining if people were to submit their sledges if they were playing cotchin next week
dave
Guest
I got sick of the pc australia we now live in so i now live in indonesia. However I'm also still an educated bloke and I love cooking for my girlfriend,The first time i done this with my girl she was absolutely shocked but after tasting my food she has slowly come around. But it is still hard,even though i am the better cook and love doing it i have to let her cook the majority of the time,its just the way it has to be.These guys really are into man is man woman woman kinda thing. What I've realised is if the indo girl spent 50% of what she would do for an indo bloke i would be amazed at how caring and loving a girl could be to her man,and if an aussie bloke spent 50% of what he would do for an aussie chick the indo girl is gonna think this is the greatest gentleman ever.I think that is a good balance. However if she was to speak out for me such as cotchins wife has (and i know she would) i would be very embarrassed. I would be having very frank discussions behind closed doors to ensure this didn't happen again.(so basicly i just said i want to muzzle her,poor choice of words browny but any smart person would take it as aussie slang) I don't think this is an issue regarding equality,Its about moms,wifes,girlfriends loving their boy and trying to help but not understanding that certain comments are only going to put a big target on their boys back.
Michelle Vogel
Roar Pro
Noticed Kingy mentioned the word "muzzle" in Browny's direction on the On the Couch show that aired after his article was released. I don't think he's impressed too many of his colleagues either, DingoGray.
Michelle Vogel
Roar Pro
Too late, mdso...Caroline Wilson took care of that one.
mdso
Guest
Trent Cotchin's wife Paul. Its the talk of the footy show. Whilst the AFL might try to stamp out old fashioned misogyny it is alive and well in the AFL and most other blokey sports. A women's AFL league may help or hinder that process. Women do not have to become like men to achieve equality and have a voice and I hope they don't.
mdso
Guest
Bravo.
mdso
Guest
Tania Hird, yes and that's when misogyny did rear its head. I don't know too many other WAG's of AFL other codes of footy who have been called a whore and relentlessly hammered by the media. Then, again, the AFL media are not much better than a pack of hungry hyena's.
mdso
Guest
Everyone is entitled to their opinion however a wife or partner is very much part of her partner's footy life and experience. She comes after the club and the boys and is his backstop. Many people do not understand the meaning of the word support and it defines more than just a physical presence and women are allowed to have an opinion. What happens when the AFL women's league gets going, will it be considered too tough for women to play the game? Recently a female playing AFL, helped her team win a premiership playing with a broken leg. Would another bloke think, that her partner shouldn't speak up about his partner playing footy or what happens on the field or defend her being criticised relentlessly by the media? It will be interesting to notice whether the same rules apply evenly across the board?
DingoGray
Roar Guru
Absolutely Gordon. PC World we now live, the slightest reflection on one's performance is now quickly branded a Bullying. I see it on a daily basis in my working environment. No one wants to take responsibility for their own actions. Trent coming out and saying I as a leader is not getting the job done would of pretty much headed off any discussion about it full stop. As for Browny, I love the man, but his comments were right out of the cavemen era.
mattyb
Guest
That was the gentleman I was referring to Freddie but names aren't important,getting away from this bubble is though. These comments arent one offs either. A couple of weeks ago another ex player/prominant commentator educated us that your wife is like your wallet. They were is exact words but to make things worse the woman who was his wallet was in fact his ex wife. He was also defended in many quarters but their certainly is a trend with some of these comments and people defending them.
Milo
Roar Rookie
Browns comments weren't great however lets move on from one man's take. The real issue is whether it was right for Brooke to come out in a public forum in that situation, where Cotch's leadership (and lack thereof) has been questioned for months. My personal view is that while good intentioned, its not done anything to assist his peers' views of him, so therefore its overall value is questionable. Whether she has a right to is not in dispute. I for one would be absolutely mortified if my partner spoke for me in that situation. If your leadership is being questioned as not strong enough and you agree that your partner comes out (presuming they discussed first) it does perpetuate the perception. There are situations where it would be beneficial: sickness, injury, early retirement et al, but I think you need to make a judgement call on when and this situation, may have not been the right one. Stand by your partner alone and with your friends and when out in public of course but go into media and it becomes a whole new ball game which you cant control. Personal view of course. Sadly this whole issue has probably backed Hardwick and the team into a corner where he Cotch has to continue captaining which in itself is not great for him or the team. Cotch is a tremendous player but not a born leader and while he continues to grapple with a role he's not suited with, the team misses his true effectiveness as someone who goes in and gets the pill and delivers to team mates. We need him to emulate his pre-captaincy form (eg 2012 and he may yet win the brownlow for that year rightly or wrongly - another story) and someone like Jack to stand up and start pulling some of his wayward team mates into line.
Gordon Smith
Guest
My main concern is the broader issue of the definition of "bullying" in our society. Brooke made the observation that it was bullying and I would like to dispute that. Criticising a high profile and well paid public figure is not bullying IMHO nor is ridiculing him. The expansion of the definition is leading to a lot of people claiming (and even believing) they were bullied because others robustly disagreed with them.
joe b
Guest
The AFL is quite savvy, and is very aware of the contribution of women to the ongoing success of the league and code. Suggesting the AFL has 'it's head up it's behind' is not a fair assessment. You seem to confuse comments by individuals as views of the AFL. Commercial media prey on this type of opportunity... they troll social media to try and generate a clickbait article, and always succeed in getting idiot commentary mixed with some reasonable commentary. Furthermore, Jonathan Brown is an employee of a commercial media outlet, not the AFL.
Michelle Vogel
Roar Pro
Loving the feedback. Thanks for all your comments. Whilst we may not all agree on some things, I DO respect everyone's opinion. I also welcome a healthy dose of humorous sarcasm ;)
Michelle Vogel
Roar Pro
So I have to be filtered too, Carl? Hmmm...you sound awfully like your mate, Browny. Excuse me while I hop offline and look for my muzzle.
Chris
Guest
I'll tack on to this because I was going to say something similar. Point A. 100% Brooke is welcome to say what she said. B. Thought it was pretty average from Brown to make an issue of it, particularly the line about "I never had to muzzle Karls..." or whatever it was. C. If I was a professional athlete I would be absolutely pissed if my wife, neighbour, dad, mum, friend, whatever came out with "someone who's perfect in our eyes..." Who's the intended audience? How is it supposed to help?