There are 292 days until the end of the year, but Waratahs captain Michael Hooper has a vice-like grip on the world’s dumbest sporting quote of 2017.
Having fallen over the line to beat the Force in the Super Rugby opener, the Waratahs copped two hidings at Johannesburg and Durban to leave South Africa without a single competition point for the first time in the 21-year history of the tournament.
“But it was a successful tour on the training paddock,” was Hooper’s reaction.
What?
In the light of day, Hooper must surely regret making such a goose of himself.
It’s a change from the old chestnuts of “back to the drawing board’, and “we will learn from our mistakes.”.
For a franchise that boasts 12 Wallabies with 404 caps, the Waratahs have been an embarrassment.
How can so many highly qualified footballers forget the rugby basics of run, pass, catch, support, and tackle?
Yet they were so “brilliant” on the training paddock, a place where nobody gives a rats.
Not one Waratah deserves a guernsey in the Australian Super Rugby team of the week, and that includes Hooper who took a back seat to the ageless 36-year-old Reds open-side flanker George Smith.
And Hooper was the Waratahs best player, closely followed by Israel Folau.
But the rest were insipid, where is their pride, their passion?
Surely lock Dean Mumm and half Nick Phipps have over-stayed their use-by date. Their performances this season have been way below their normal low standards.
But it gets worse – Waratahs fans only have to look at the stats.
In the 19-13 win over the Force, the Waratahs enjoyed 56 per cent possession, and 58 per cent territory to creep home with so many Wallabies.
To compound their mistakes, the Waratahs turned over possession 17 times to 13.
Their only redeeming feature was giving up nine penalties to 15, in a boring game that resulted in just a try apiece.
Against the Lions in Johannesburg and the massive 55-36 loss that resembled touch football, the Waratahs turned over possession 11 times, missed 30 tackles, and gave up 15 penalties.
The Lions, with 60 per cent possession, and 59 per cent territory, scored eight tries to five.
Against the Sharks in Durban, the Waratahs had 56 per cent possession, and 57 per cent territory, yet were beaten 37-14, with the Sharks scoring four tries to two.
That’s easy to understand when the Waratahs missed 33 tackles, turned over possession 23 times, and gave up 11 penalties.
Next up the Brumbies who aren’t playing crash hot rugby either, so there’s only one way for the Waratahs to go – and that’s up.
Just as well the ARU has been lazy scheduling the June Test window, coming up with Fiji, Scotland, and Italy.
If it was England or Ireland, even Wales, Wallaby coach Michael Cheika would be genuinely concerned that his potential squad is firing blanks.
Dontcallmeshirley
Guest
I'm sorry but Stirzacker is not the answer.
Jock Cornet
Guest
Didn't Phipps get picked because he was with deans daughter. It just shows that players are picked on anything but fom.
Timbo (L)
Guest
Fionn, I wouldn't underestimate Italy, If Chiekas selection strategy continues on from last year, we will be lucky to beat them.
ClarkeG
Guest
The article has had 4,058 reads though so all good :-)
ClarkeG
Guest
I feel it is only a matter of time before Georgia comes to NZ / Aust. They were in the pacific islands last year and I see they play away against Canada and Arg in June.
RubberLegs
Guest
The penalty count against the Force was not justified. The ref seemed to favour the Tahs in the last quarter of the game. The Tahs' position as a the senior franchise seemed to get them favourable treatment. I hope referee supervisors take a close look at the ref's performance (and recent financial transactions) when their decisions determine the winners of close games.
Cynical Play
Guest
The Tahs have a few WBs sure. But they've been gutted since 2015 and lost alot of backline experience since. With Foley out... they only had Folau who had any game time (Phipps just back). The rest are newbies. David Lord needs to get things in perspective.
Cynical Play
Guest
Hooper is growing into a very good Captain. Good onfield decisions. Leads form the front. Plays the full 80 EVERY game. Refs talk to him. Talks to the troops at the right time. You want him to do his hair better? You want him to be Steven Moore??? FFS
bigbaz
Roar Guru
well it can only be ironic if you are aware of the original quote, up here we tend to ignore rugdy league unless they are cowboys and ignore it even more on a rugby site cheers
Bfc
Guest
Phipps and Frisby are both woeful at the moment...neither adding anything positive to their teams play. Can't even get the scrum half essential right...neither can pass well. How can Cheika persist with Phipps (or Frisby...he was on the Spring Tour...) defies logic. Cooper and Hegarty must "guess" where the next pass is heading...high, low, short...but always slow. Hope Stiles hooks Frisby and gives Tuttle a start...
Timbo (L)
Guest
I tend to agree, I don't think anyone sees Hoops as an intellectual and nobody expects him to come out with a thought provoking monologue. The piece itself may be a little premature, in the hot slippery conditions with "Rusty" sides, very few teams skills are meeting the armchair sportsman's high expectations. That said, the Tah's are heralded for having so many wallabies in it. My argument is that very few of them should have worn the gold at all, Hooper included.
Timbo (L)
Guest
I think Michael Blooper has spent too much time believing Michael Cheika's BS. Chiek appears to select players that have done well at training, not on past match performances. It didn't worked out for the Wallabies, it it clearly hasn't worked out for the Tah's. To be fair, the Lions are an Impressive unit and I am tipping the Sharks to go far this season, if they stop dropping the ball, they will be unstoppable. It is a tough ask for any team to beat either of these sides.
Wombat
Guest
How long before the coach starts to get some heat,Tahs weren't exactly a treat to follow last year either.
Akari
Guest
Agreed buster as those "Blues" players would probably not have a clue about the game and rules. The other Blues lot from across the ditch wouldn't qualify and were woeful against the Landers anyway.
Akari
Guest
Take away the two tries that were gifted to the Shorks via poor passing, the final score would have been 20-14 with a chance of an upset. Nevertheless, it was an awful game to watch from an Oz perspective. Apart from the poor box and general kicks and lineout woes, it seems to me that the players were trying too hard and making mistakes that they otherwise wouldn't have. Hopper looks in need of a break and Kepu probably needs to step up and take the lead on the field. He's a WBs and senior player and none better to command respect from the Tahs players IMO.
Akari
Guest
The Blues are clueless without Steven Luatua to lead the pack, RT. Sadly, Kaino and Parsons are back to form from last year's super rugby and shouldn't even be in the 23. What is the story with Kara Pryor? The Blues need him in the pack now that Luatua is out for 4 more weeks.
mike
Guest
Simply put, Hooper is not Captain material Never has been Never was Never will be So what do you expect from him
taylorman
Roar Guru
Thankfully the Blues are not getting the chop. Can you imagine in 87 being told in 30 years Auckland and its Blues catchment area were not good enuf to field a side in a comp? Geez, back then it was Auckland then... the rest. Now its The rest...then Auckland! ?
AlBo
Guest
Yes. HEAVEN FORBID they look for one single positive after an ordinary start to a season. They should hang their heads in shame and tell us over and over again how they've disappointed the fans, their mums, their dogs and their ancestors. The Roar is unfortunately such a hive of negativity it pains me to come on here much anymore. I'm up for rational discussion and reasoned debate but writing an article on a throwaway line? It's just trolling.
Doug
Guest
and em that their poo does in fact SMELL!